So my ex dumped me 6 years ago after a 7 year relationship and went into another relationship with a z list celebrity. It destroyed me completely, never felt pain like it in my life. I also had no friends or family at the time for support. Took me years to get over it. We have a house together that I live in and he breeds animals from the garden. So this kept the connection between us. Over the years he had girlfriends partied did whatever he wanted. But always came back to make sure i was still there and no one had touch me. This went on for years because i was a bloody idiot thinking i love him and he'll come back to me. Till I went out and slept with someone else because I knew I had to force my self out of way of thinking. Plus he always said he would never touch me again if I went with someone else. I started having fun living my life but I never shared what I was doing because it was private, I finally was finding me and I was scared what my ex would do. So I asked many times for him to sell the house, but me out. Even sent solicitors letter regarding forcing sale. None of these worked and I lost my job so it put a hold on forcing sale. So six years done the line I have stayed firm in no I want out this house. I don't want to be with you, not slept with him for 2 years, don't ring text ect. But hes Cime back after all the women and friends have fell away. Hes being really nice wanting to take me away, have children and hes now wanting the settled down life. I've tried explaining I wont get back with you because you have done to much now. That I have love for him but I'm not in love. This like everything else falls on deaf ears. I know the only thing I need to do is tell him I've slept with other people. But I am so damn scared. Its bloody ridiculous. I get anxiety, panic and stayed quiet. Its madness. Why am I so scared and why do I feel like a bad person that has done something wrong. I know I'll be classed as a slag and all the bad things. Please give me some words of encouragement to get a backbone.