Looks to help my partner getting child support payments from ex

[hatfieldk]

My partner has four children with a deadbeat who is self employed and has pulled some strokes to avoid paying child support. He's worked it he pays £2.75 per child a week. She asks for help with school uniforms etc and there's always an excuse.

For me it's kinda personal now, I love those kids, he was physically abusive and is still mentally manipulative and abusive in his own way to this day so I am looking for advise on how I can prove he's in full time employment. I've contacted a private detective and he advises that can be easily proven by them but want to make sure that once I've him followed for a week that is enough to have him done for it and any idea once I get the evidence what I do with it. It's about a grand to pay the private detective for a week so want to make sure it'll be worth it.

Any help out there or advice?

It won’t make any difference. Save the £1000 and spend it on the children.

I agree. Don't waste your money.

It’s worked out on wages and if he only pays himself a small amount you can’t do anything about that

Ah gutting, bastard just manipulates his wages and nothing you can do about it?

My dad was like that and my mom paid a private detective. Lots of court time later he was ordered to pay £2000 back maintenance..... at £2 a week, which he didn't pay. By that time I was 18 and my mom gave up.

Save your sanity! Spend the money on the kids, they'll know who supports them.

My ex is self employed and brings in over 4K a month. I’m lucky to get £200 a month for 2 kids but as he is self employed he fiddled his accounts. He did it with his ex wife and cms agreed there was no point in trying as he’d fiddle it further so I get nothing. I don’t even argue it any more. There’s no point.

My mental health improved considerably when I stopped chasing my ex for money. It's not fair but I found it far less stressful an existence.

Thanks for the advice. I'll take it relucantly because it seems there is nothing you can do. And in regards mental health it definitely does affect you. Many night wishing ill on him, it's a poison in your soul and maybe you're right, forget about it.

Just winds me up portrays himself as a model dad on Facebook. Feck it, I'll go book a holiday for them.

Is there any agency you could report him to if he's self employed and fiddling wages? Might make you feel better if you feel like your doing something. My DM reported DF to HMRC and customs and long story short he ended up with 18 month prison sentence. She never got any money, but she got satisfaction.

I'll look into that route. He was physically abusive in the past and still is mentally so make no apology for saying some revenge would be delightful :)