If you have a school refusing child and you are still sane please tell me how?

[Sonowitschristmas]

The title says it all really. Ds is 11 Year 7 wont go to school despite having a 1:1.

He is currently under assessment for ASD but know diagnosis at present.

I am very close to walking out the door and never coming back.

"no" not know

My child is a school refusing 5 year old, so slightly different. At the moment my coping strategy is to go running when my husband is here. It is almost like running away literally. But I get my exercise endorphin rush then go home. You need to have headspace. What’s the rest of your life like? Do you work? Have hobbies? Family around?

What about home education? It’s not for everyone but works really well for us. Depending on where you live there might be a big home ed community and often people share the costs of tutors/activities/events so it can be more affordable than people think. You’ll find that a lot of home educated children have asd as they struggled to cope in mainstream school.

Yes I work but this is ruining my health. Currently off long term sick. Also have an older ASD Dd who is currently doing ok.

I am too ill for exercise.

I have elderly parents in poor health.
Dh helps but it's so so hard at the minute.

Yes home education may well be the answer but he is due to go to secondary in September and I really want him to try that first.

I feel to home educate I would need to feel strong and resilient. Today I have locked myself in my room.

Sympathies OP, have been there (and am thankfully out the other side now. DS is at college, doing really well and a totally transformed lad). We had a very stressful and exhausting couple of years, which took its toll on everyone's well-being.

My advice - please look in to Home Ed. You will find LOADS of similar stories to yours, loads of support and encouragement and it may well work for your family. There should be a local HE group on Facebook you could join and get an idea of how it all works in practice.

It's very possible for you to work (if you do/want to)

Lots of people who don't understand HE, and whose DC happily attended school may well criticise but many will help and encourage you. Trying to force a refuser to go to school can be a much bigger nightmare. As soon as I made the decision to HE we all tangibly relaxed and life just got better and better for all concerned. Trying to bang a round peg in a square hole has never worked long term.

Many colleges now run a 13-16 programme which your DC could access. My DC and I found the way colleges treat students - and the way students treat each other - is very different to school.

I hope you find a workable solution that you are all happy with - the current way we 'school' just doesn't suit everyone and HE is a very possible solution.

Best wishes