Tips to make my 7yr old more resilient and give things a try

[Lovingmylife]

My DS is almost 8 and is brilliant in so many ways but he just won't try. He won't put his socks on, he won't build Lego, he won't cut things out. Anything that requires any effort he either begs me to do or just won't even try and it's beginning to get so frustrating. I do things like make mistakes on purpose and say ' oh dear I'll have to try again' or 'that took me a few goes to get right and was frustrating but I feel good I can do it now' etc. He gets so easily frustrated and losses his rag quickly. He asked for a giant marble run for Christmas and won't even try to follow the instructions to build it. He gives up on every task the moment he can. Bless him he has working memory issues and is struggling with maths at school but a lot of the time he won't even try and just puts any old answer down.

I want to help him develop these skills and learn to persevere. Any tips?

This might be throwing him in at the deep end but have you considered him joining cubs or beavers (I think it's cubs at 7?). Our eldest has thrived with it despite being really quite shy until recently. He doesn't like the overnight camps so doesn't go, which is fine, but he really enjoys the range of activities. None of his school friends go to his pack either so it's his own space, if you see what I mean. Plus, 7/8 is a funny old age anyway I'm afraid

Thanks neighneigh He is on the waiting list so fingers crossed he gets a space. He does swimming and football too.

Everything that you’ve mentioned at home, lego, putting socks on, cutting things out require some measure of physical dexterity. Can he use scissors? Can he actually put his socks on?
What’s his handwriting like? Can he ride a bike?

What happens when he looses his rag? Do you step in and do the activity for him? Ie.make the marble run, so he doesn’t have to. Maybe he’s used to you stepping in?

Maybe make a game of it. Ie. See how much lego he can build in ten minutes, and then slowly extend the time.

Patience (you)
Backwards chaining (I think it's called) i.e you let them do the last bit. Once they can do that, you let them do the bit before the last bit and the last bit.

Sounds like he has dexterity and motor issues. My son also has such issues and he finds the same things hard. I found the best thing was to reassure him, help him and don't get impatient and force it as then he refuses.

Socks - make sure they're wide/stretchy enough to pull on easily.

Lego - build it for him, let him pass me the right pieces and tell me where they go, check the plans. When he was 10, he took over building but still needed help with the fiddly pieces. Important is that he enjoys playing with it.

Scissors - Is he using them correctly (the central 1/3 of the blade), holding them correctly? Try several different types if need be. Get him to cut roughly around the shape and you do the detail.

Marble run - build it for him. Let him play with it. Once he's played with it for a while, he might start to modify it etc.

Thank you for the ideas. He can get himself dressed, including socks but I will look at different school socks in case these are a bit tight. He can cut, yes. He has seen an OT and she wasn't concerned about his ability to do activities, more his concentration and how much he likes to fidget and fiddle.

Loveislandaddict yes I do often step in. But this is because he really flips out and throws things, pushes chairs over etc and I find it very hard to deal with so will try and avoid that happening.

Trickybook good ideas. He does play with it once built and I think I just overthink alot of this.

Noble giraffe he can't ride a bike. He gets really nervous about falling off and now won't try.