What is the best advice a parent ever gave you?

[karencantobe]

My mum said never to marry someone if you thought - if only they did not do x.

Don’t do anything you could be blackmailed for.

not from a parent but from a communications specialist at work during a meeting "well if we can't tell people about it, should we really be doing it?" Always stuck with me as a good rule of thumb.

My Dad gave me financial advice. Don't spend more than you can afford and always pay your pension and credit card in full every month.

Can I add one I'm telling my dc? When you've got a seemingly overwhelming job to do (I've had many since xh left), I say "how do you eat an elephant?" and they're trained to reply "one bite at a time"

“You get what you THINK you deserve” said my mum. And she was right. If you think you deserve crap then that’s what you’ll get.

About becoming a parent - they said the best advice was don't take anyone's advice

From mum-Never let a woman make a fool out of you..

Most things you worry about never happen.

Be kind
Don't spend too much
You are no better and jo worse than anyone else but to me you are the world
The last one is what I say to my children

Listen to all the small things your children have to tell you. That way if they have something big to tell you they know you'll listen.

You are equal to all and better than none.
My Grandpa. Amazing man!

Not advice but when I lost my career due to depression and was terrified I’d disappointed my parents, my dad said
“It doesn’t matter what you do for a living. It doesn’t matter if you spend all day shovelling shit, (only time I’ve ever heard him swear) as long as at the end of the day you can look back and say ‘I shovelled a lot of shit, I did well today’”
It meant a lot at a time I felt I wasn’t good enough.

Never get a store card - my mum. I ignored her, to my peril!!

@Newyearnewme2020, if your doctor thinks that being barefoot and eating ice cream causes croup or chest infections, he/she really needs to brush up on their medicine textbooks.

My DM always says “don’t let yourself get down, because you’ll only have to pick yourself up again so you’re basically just creating more work for yourself”.

Do unto others as you would have done unto you. DM's favourite piece of advice.

My mother:

Get engaged, married and pg in that order.

My gran:
Marriage works best if you share: class, religion, politics and race. If you share three and work at it, it works; less than that it gets disproportionately hard.

"Never tell a child a discoverable lie". My dad, who also told me the Fact of Life thus: "Outside the family, inside the species, concentrate on her fun not yours. Learn to listen". I miss him terribly.

Not from a parent but about being a parent:

Catch them being good.

It really changes your frame of mind.

My DF remarked that I made a lot of sacrifices for my DS, then added ‘you’ll get no thanks for it!

Funnily enough, I was talking to my DM only today about this. She said 2 things I particularly remember.

One: if a man ever hits you, let that be the first and last time.

Two: don't fight with pigs, you'll both get dirty but the pigs enjoy it.

Always cool the shepherd's pie filling completely before putting the mash on top.

Mum had low horizons bless her.

Life is not fair, the sooner you accept that, the happier you will be.

Once bubs was in bed for the night, anything you do after is done upstairs, in a dim light with very quiet voices. This way baby starts to distinguish between day and night. I did this from day one and it seemed to work.

Also pick your battles; if it won't be a big issue in a year don't stress about it now (case in point, refusing to send DS to nursery in wellies in July because he wanted to) the tantrum was SO not worth it

Don’t get into debt...wish I’d listened!

If a man hits you then walk away fast!