What made a wedding ceremony that you attended really wonderful?

[LadyBrienne]

I am the celebrant at our good friends wedding (we are in the USA where anyone can perform the ceremony for $35 by signing up online).

I am trying to write a wonderful service for them and provide lots of options for them to choose from so they can really make the service something special and unique to them.

I would love to hear any suggestions as to:

1. formats you have liked
2. readings or poems that were special
3. parts of the ceremony you have thought were wonderful or meaningful
4. vows
5. stories that were meaningful

I've got lots of help from the normal resources available as well as Mr Google - I just thought I'd garner the collective hive of MNET to see what has stood out in personal experience that made a wedding ceremony really special / memorable / fabulous / unique / funny / etc etc

It could either be your own wedding or a wedding you attended

The wedding is outside and there are about 80 guests

The bride and groom really don't know what they want yet so that's why I want to give them some ideas to ponder and think about - so far all they've come up with is giving a rose to their parents to say thank you and writing their own vows

Thanks so much for any help

Bump

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Not by choice but accident, our registrar quoted the same poem we used for the invitations and menus, it was one quite special for us but he didn’t know.

At a colleague’s wedding the brother of the bride who accompanied her to the groom did a little speech while “handing her over”, along the lines of “XX I hereby trust you with my sister to cherish and protect her”. Not the usual “who give the bride away” bit, a lot more personal and less “giving away”. He did the usual “Father of the bride” speech but the bit at the “handing over” was really lovely and special.

Short and sweet. No twee, corny nonsense that people smile outwardly but inside they're rolling their eyes and cringing.

@reluctantbrit thanks - yes the whole "who gives this women" is crap - thanks for the alternative

I asked my aunty to do a reading for ours and she agreed but asked if she could keep it as a surprise for us on the day. I said yes.
The reading was a poem my dad wrote about me and my husband. I had no idea and when my aunty read out the poem title and who had written it I let out a big gasp!
I now have it framed on our wall.

@eminencegrise quite - twee corny nonsense I am hoping to avoid - have to find a way to incorporate what the B&G want though as I'm just the delivery vehicle

@Horehound that's truly special - thanks

Short and sweet, and the ceremony genuinely reflected both the personalities of the couple and their relationship (e.g. nothing saccharine when the bride was known for saying things like “oh vomit” at PDAs or other OTT romance).

I like the poem by a family member idea, but on the whole the tried and tested readings, vows, rings service is the nicest. I've been to a few that have tried to be a bit "different" and they have been a bit cringey if I'm honest. Weddings are memorable because of the people not the readings, music etc.

I don't think handing a bride over is any better than giving her away, which is a dreadful tradition that really ought to disappear.

Honestly, I think you need to let/make the couple getting married step up and design their own. One person’s ‘personal and touching’ is another person’s ‘saccharine and twee’ — for instance, the handover described by @reluctantbrit would have had me, and every woman I know, rolling our eyes so vehemently they risked getting stuck.

The best services / ceremonies I've been to have been the short ones.

With no long readings, long poems & cheesy, romantic vows.
I like short and to the point. Don't over complicate.

@FramingDevice I wish they would but they asked me to help them

I think the ideas on here for simple and sincere is best

We are not religious. Our VERY short ceremony emphasised the symbolism of our wedding rings. 5 minutes at most, I think!

My best friends wrote a poem about me and DH for my wedding and DFIL read a poem we had chosen (He Never Leaves the Seat Up) which was just the right about of funny and sweet. I can’t stand excessive yucky romance and neither can DH so it fitted for us perfectly.

I have to say though, I don’t remember at all the readings from other weddings I’ve been to.

Definitely short and sweet as others have said
Short meaningful speeches. Don’t have loads of people making speeches.
Snacks and drink available when speeches are being made.
If the wedding is at a church, make sure that there is access to a toilet

In terms of the giving away, I can’t remember the exact words but mine was something like ‘comes to show support of the newly weds’. I’m glad my dad walked with me because otherwise I might have fallen over as would be my luck.

I don't think handing a bride over is any better than giving her away, which is a dreadful tradition that really ought to disappear

Completely agree. Women as the property of men. It has no place in modern society.

We had a Humanist ceremony. The celebrant spent some time with us learning how we met and got together. She used this as the basis of the ceremony- essentially telling our story. It was a nice way of my friends learning about things from DH's perspective and vice versa.

To make it special for us, she asked us each to send her 3 things we loved about each other but not to tell each other before the day. She incorporated these into the ceremony. This was really special for us.

She gave us a paper copy of the full thing to keep afterwards.

DH's aunt played the flute as I walked up the aisle (she's a professional).

Not a wedding but a naming ceremony, the baby had a poem read by his aunt that had been read at the wedding a couple of years previously.

It was a sort of modern version of keeping the top tier of the cake and if the couple intend to have children in the future it might be a consideration.

I also helped write an alternative to giving the bride away, they had the normal, "who gives this woman" with "She gives herself with the support and blessing of her family".

I've also been to one where it was asked, "Who gives these children" and the parents of bride and groom answered, "we do".

I was asked to sign a poem while it was being read at a wedding. I thought the bride just wanted it as a 'thing' but a deaf guest thanked me.

We (friend who read the poem) ended up interpreting the speeches, the deaf guest's husband made a point of thanking us as it was the first time his wife had access to the speeches.

The last wedding I was at was a bog standard CoE, but what made it magical was the game of "Mr & Mrs" played at the reception, where we all got a marvellous insight into their love for each other.

My now DH and I walked up the aisle together. We decided to marry together and so we walked into the marriage together and so there was no giving away or handing over of anyone by anyone else because there is no-one else involved.

Oh, I went to one that did a Mr and Mrs quiz at the reception and it was awful, utterly toe-curling and went in for ages. That was one of the ones I was thinking of when I said upthread the "different" ones can be a bit cringey.

Nice and plentiful food