Maladaptive Daydreaming support thread

[ConstantDaydream]

Does anyone else have this? I have spent my whole life living through daydreams rather than real life. I also suffer from depression and anxiety which definitely triggers it. It manifests itself mostly in romantic crushes (both real people and fictional characters) to the point I practically ignore my own partner of 25 years. I also suffered from Alice in wonderland syndrome as a child and wonder if this is linked. Any GPs or therapists or fellow sufferer out there? Maybe this would be better in health.
The daydreams block out the awfulness of real life, but sometimes, like today, I suddenly think "Shit what am I doing?" and then an awful depression sets in.

I can spend hours in my mind

I’m a trained psychotherapist (and have number if years working experience and own personal therapy) and still haven’t managed to move on from this

I do put it down to an abusive and neglected childhood and what I seek in my relationships particularly with men

I also have suffered from Alice in Wonderland syndrome when I was young (about 10) and also when I was pregnant (on my own was very unhappy and stressful time) Ds has also described having this but at the time he appeared happy and settled
Not heard of them being related but that’s an interesting possible link.

Mine tend to be based on some form of reality in the mix I can project a personality change on someone to suit my own needs and ignore what they are really like thankfully I am aware i do this now it doesn’t stop me but holds me back on my own actions. Mine will step up when I am feeling like I am drifting in life - then I make a change feel better for a while then it starts again.

It’s held me back from progressing in life but also is useful in knowing that something needs to shift when I become too preoccupied in my daydreams

And no I don’t not drift away at work if anyone is thinking that

Thanks for your response. So interesting and strange you experience the Alice in wonderland syndrome as well. Having a real bad day today. It's really taken me over the last few months.

Me!!! I love mine and I'm too old to care if its damaging or holding me back, I honestly don't know what I would think without them.
Mine started at 9 and until I discovered MN, I had no idea that this was a thing or a problem. Then I remembered about a thousand bad things that happened to me when I was a child and the most things happened when I was 9.
I do just fine in life, I'm quite happy.

Gosh I sound in total denial, don't I? 😁

There have been a few really good thread on it. Might be worth doing a search.

For a lot of us it's a form of self preservation. Our own internal safe space.
I was actually shocked just how common it is.

The issues arise if it is affecting your actual real life and relationships

I've always done this in some form. It used to be a nice distraction/coping mechanism, but I feel like the balance has shifted in the last 6 months and its now becoming excessive and is affecting my life negatively. I don't know how to cut down because it's compulsive! I'm not depressed, but anxiety is definitely a problem for me. My life is in a rut at the moment which doesn't help, as it's so easy to disappear into the stories in my head.

@DarkBetty you describe me exactly.

Yes.

I do this constantly and am aware that I am almost living a completely separate life in my head....

I daydream a lot. What is maladaptive about it?

Me. I’ve been doing this since I was a child and although I am able to control it better than I used to it’s still a problem. I can spend months daydreaming (and perfecting) a short encounter/dialogue. The majority of what goes on in my head bears no resemblance my to reality.
I also had Alice in Wonderland syndrome.

Me! I find it gets more intense the worse i feel about myself.

My ds has asd and spends 80% of his waking time like this atm.