Sleepover expectations

[Tenpintonpin]

If you were hosting a sleepover party for 8 and 9 year olds (none of whom had been to a sleepover before), would you specify a time at which you would be going to bed and after which you should not be disturbed by a party goer, even if upset etc? If so, what time would it be?

No, I specify a “do not disturb” time but I specifically EXCLUDE people being upset, ill, or any major household damage from that. And it’s basically when we go to bed.

Bedtime - 10-11. (Play it by ear, they may be overexcited)

Upset- all night. If they need an adult, they need one.

No. I'd accept the inevitable and prepare for a maximum of 3 hours' sleep with all of them up at 6.30 tomorrow!

Honestly I have always told children that if they need me they can come get me, no matter what the time of night. I'd expect the same of any parent who was looking after my DC overnight.

Other than that that I'd just do a half hour countdown to bedtime / lights out - anywhere between 930 and 1030 depending the group (some are night owls - my DC are not really), let them have their "midnight feast" a bit later and then from 30 minutes after that start shouting "settle down now please" up the stairs ad infinitum. Usually though I still find at least a couple still awake by 11 or midnight and I check they're ok and then just go to bed.

Thanks, that all sounds v reasonable. We're guests, hosting parents are planning on going to bed at 10 and don't want to be disturbed after that by upset kids etc, which seems a little optimistic to me!

oh goodness that's v optimistic.
If a child need s an adult they need them

I have 2 secondary age dc and one primary and would say at a sleepover I am available whenever a child needs me. If they wake at 3am and get upset, I’d sort it out, as I’d expect another parent to do the same for my dc.

I also run brownies and have taken hundreds of girls away, some for the first time away from home. I have no issue with them waking me up at whatever time during the night. It’s rare they need me, but not unheard of (I’m more grumpy if they wake early For ‘no reason’ and wake everyone else up for a laugh, but that isn’t what you’ve asked!)
I’d be questioning if I wanted my child in a house where the hosting adults didn’t want to be disturbed in the night tbh, especially when their night seems to start so early.

I wouldn't allow my child to go if they're refusing to attend to upset, homesick or ill children. It's just part of hosting a sleepover.

There is no time I wouldn't expect to be disturbed by an upset kid, especially for younger dc.

We have a time when the dc are expected to go to bed, but I show all dc staying where our room is and tell them they can come and wake us if there is a problem during the night.

The host parents sound very weird. What if someone is sick or hurt or wets the bed? I wouldn't go to sleep until the dc are settled with kids of that age.

Sometimes even children who've stayed before have a funny phase at that age and get upset. Dc3 is 8 and his best friend has stayed over at least 20 times, but on time number 18 or so got upset and wanted his mum at 1am. I go to bed but my own child can fetch me to an upset overnight guest child any time.

Obviously the adults can and indeed should set a quiet, no more screens, sleep time and go to bed themselves but their own children need to be able to wake them and fetch them if children staying the night need help.