Attachment problems

[333Alexandra120999]

I have a 3 week old and I feel like my attitude is getting worse instead of getting better. I’m very attached to her to the point where when someone wants to hold her I get really angry. My ex’s mum is very excited and told me to just accept it because she’ll soon take it to her house and she’ll take her to church and shopping etc and I got so angry at that we argued for 2 hours lol.
Also when my aunties call and tell me to show them my daughter everyday I get really mad for no reason just because I don’t want them to stare at her for too long. It was bad when I first gave birth but now it’s getting worse and I panic whenever people tell me she’ll grow and she’ll go to her grandmas for a couple of days and shopping with my aunties and my cousins will take her to the park. I just can’t seem to let anyone hold her except my mum, I really just want to fight anyone that goes close to her. I know I need the help but it’s really bad, my ex’s mum got mad at me so many times telling me I have to let her touch the baby since it’s her grandchild and I almost kicked her out.

Is this normal? I really don’t mean no harm but I feel like I’m bad when it’s about my daughter, I would actually throw someone out the window if they try to even put a finger on her and I’m rude to everyone that tries to even stare at her for too long or breath next to her. Do I need to speak to someone before it gets worse or is this normal?

Imo you get joy from seeing your family sharing love with you baby. I would certainly get The Rage from ones threatening to remove my baby like you also!! Practice in front of a mirror.
No mil you will not be having MY baby unsupervised until I am ready.
And repeat.

I think it's your hormones talking.

Given that you appear to be single, now, I reckon you'll be only too pleased to have a night 'off' once in a while, when the time comes. Maybe you'll rely on ex's mother to babysit.

Sure, it's for you to set the pace, but going ballistic when people look at your DD for 'too long' is a bit bats, IMO.

You poor thing.

I don't think this intensity of emotion is normal, no. - not to people looking at your baby or breathing near her. But I don't find it at all surprising that you get angry if people are saying they'll take your 3 week old baby from you against your will, and if you feel threatened then it may have become a trigger. Nature makes you very protective of your baby - and that's exactly as it should be. It's interesting that you're OK with your mum holding her. It's up to your in laws to help you feel just as safe with them.

But post natal depression is an obvious concern. Speak to your health visitor or GP about it.

For now, your daughter's needs - and your needs - take priority. These early days (and 3 weeks really is still very early) are an important time for you and your baby to bond, and for you to get used to being a mum. If you need some space, can you tell everyone you need a few days/a week to yourself? Maybe stay with your mum?