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Stay where I am or look to move house? WWYD

10 replies

LittleRa · 10/01/2020 20:13

When I was with my now exh (father of my DD) we bought what was to be our “forever home”; it had everything we wanted, ticked every box. Four bedrooms- two were large doubles and one was an extension over the garage so ran the whole length of the house, that was my DD’s room. Large kitchen with space for beautiful large dining table, plus two other rooms downstairs so could have one full of toys and the other kept nice and tidy! In a “naice” area in catchment for outstanding school, which DD started attending the Nursery and moved up to Reception while we lived there (she’s now in Y1). Garage, nice garden with garden shed. Lovely large bathroom with separate bath and shower cubicle. Loft boarded out so plenty of storage. You get the idea....

Anyway, two years after buying the house, we separated. Neither of us could afford to take on the house alone (buy the other out/be approved by bank for remaining mortgage amount/keep up the monthly repayments) so we sold the house and split the equity. We actually did well and sold for £18k more than we’d bought for 2 years prior (as I said, nice area, outstanding school catchment, always going to be popular).

With my half of the equity and my own salary, I was able to buy a house myself. My new house (been here a little over a year now) is an end terrace, and is still generally within the same area (e.g. I can walk DD to school on my day off, it now takes 25 mins versus the 5-10 mins from the previous house), but is a less “naice” area, and wouldn’t be in the catchment for the school DD attends. I do have three bedrooms; one double which is mine then a smaller one for DD and a box room which is basically a dumping ground for everything we can’t store anywhere else. Downstairs there’s just the kitchen (modern and fine but only space for a small two seat table) and living room so it does get quite cluttered! There is a large garden which has space for DD’s trampoline but it’s very overlooked as theres a sort of cul-de-sac part of the street running up alongside so there are 4 terraces all along my garden fence, which is a low fence. No garage, no shed, so nowhere to keep a lawn mower, bikes/scooters, paddling pool. No boarding in loft so no storage there for eg suitcases, Christmas decs and so on. The bathroom is so small it has a smaller/shorter than normal size bath in it. Everything is modern as the house was bought by a developer (when it was in a bit of a state) and done up and sold on to me- so new windows, new boiler, new bathroom, new kitchen units and floor. All nice/fine and modern but perhaps not the highest spec that you’d do if it was for yourself to live in, since they were doing it up to sell on.

I was getting a bit resentful of the house over Christmas, what with all the Christmas presents, toys, decorations, food, there was just nowhere to put anything and everywhere was a tip. Plus I missed not being able to have family over to stay; at my old house I had space for my brother, SIL and their three kids to sleep over, space for the kids to all play and large kitchen for entertaining. However, now I’ve had the January clear out, it does feel much better/less cluttered.

So anyway, now I have DP and he hasn’t yet moved in but is here a lot of time and eventually will move in. We’d like to eventually TTC and have a baby (I have DD age 5, he has no DC).

Once we live together, with his salary taken into account, we could afford a house more similar to my previous so-called “forever” house (could get mortgage approved and jointly afford the monthly payments)- a larger family home, in nicer area and closer to DD’s school to be in catchment for if we had another DC. However, there would of course be all the costs of moving, legal fees, stamp duty, moving company etc, as well as the fact that the mortgage would be much higher. If we were to stay here, where I can already cover all the bills myself currently, and he moved in and contributed (officially contributed, he does contribute now as he stays over a lot), then we would be very comfortable financially- could afford the little extras such as Netflix subscription, theatre trips, eating out etc which we would probably have to cut back on if we were to move, as well as comfortably affording DD’s swimming lessons, dance class, Rainbows, keyboard lessons...! It might drive me crazy having a baby here though, with the clutter and so on. We’d have to get the loft boarded for storage in order to make the box room (currently dumping ground) into a baby’s room. Also need to consider hypothetical childcare when going back to work after hypothetical maternity leave- again, much more affordable if we stayed here with lower costs. But due to no longer being in catchment for DD’s school my hypothetical second DC may have to go to a closer-to-this-house less good (but still fine!!) school.

I just can’t decide what to do. Would really appreciate any thoughts/experiences. TLDR; should I stay in smaller, cheaper but generally fine house in less nice area/out of school catchment, or look to move to larger, nicer family home in school catchment but face all the associated costs?

OP posts:
strawberry2017 · 10/01/2020 20:21

Could you go for a more inbetween option of selling and moving to something bigger but no so big? So you have more space but not a 4th bedroom. Maybe just the additional downstairs room.

LittleRa · 10/01/2020 20:54

Thanks for the reply. Do you think it would be worth the moving costs to move to something not too much different? I suppose moving back into the school catchment but a smaller house could be a consideration.

OP posts:
Nightmanagerfan · 10/01/2020 20:57

I’d move if I were you. If it feels small now it will be worse with your partner too.

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LittleRa · 10/01/2020 21:07

Thanks for the reply, yes that’s what I’m worried about.

OP posts:
GiantKitten · 10/01/2020 21:09

With the big garden you mention, if you’re generally happy with the location, would a substantial shed take care of storage?
Or could you extend?
Either would be cheaper & less faff than moving at this stage

GiantKitten · 10/01/2020 21:12

& get some tall screening between your garden & the houses down the side. I would hate that low fence Grin

strawberry2017 · 10/01/2020 23:12

For the right house yes the costs would be worth it. You might not move massively in size to start but you might find something that has scope to expand one day, in w terrace you are probably a but restricted on what you do,

Lunafortheloveogod · 10/01/2020 23:21

What about a half way road, board the loft and get some form of outdoor storage sorted. Stay put until you’re back from the hypothetical maternity leave where being off work will be much more affordable and then look to move, dc2 won’t be going to school for 4 years or might be dc2&3 if you fell with twins.

All in any storage improvements would maybe increase the value of where you are now too.

LittleRa · 11/01/2020 07:20

Yes, I think that’s a good idea actually- staying put for the next few years to have lower costs (lower mortgage payments, bills) if I do get pregnant and have a baby, and just putting up with the niggles of this house, while making a few improvements such as loft boarding, get a shed, maybe taller/better fence but I’m not sure where I stand on that as would affect the other properties (two neighbours either side of my garden talk to each other over the fence across my garden ha ha, if I raised the fence they wouldn’t be able to- obviously they’d just have to go round each other’s houses but I don’t want to cause bad feeling). And then reassess once hypothetical baby is a bit older.

Added complication with school catchments that I didn’t mention is that I live in an area with first, middle and high school. So DD is currently in Y1 at a first school which goes up to Y4, after the she goes to middle school from Y5-Y9. So catchment becomes an issue a bit sooner than if it was primary/secondary. We are in catchment for two middles- one is requires improvement, one is good with mixed reviews. The one that most of her peers from her current school will go to is outstanding (though also mixed reviews as is very large) but likely we’re out of catchment.

OP posts:
LittleRa · 11/01/2020 07:24

Strawberry2016 Yes I suppose looking for somewhere that is more back in the area/school catchment (location location location) with the space but cheaper due di needed improvements could be an idea- these do come up with family homes from the 70s and 80s where the family have grown up and left and the elderly parents are now downsizing. I have shied away from these as I’m not into DIY/projects but the right property that was in the right area and generally livable for a few years that we could gradually make improvements to could be an idea.

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