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Lack of sex makes me want out

7 replies

simone71 · 10/01/2020 14:01

I’ve been in a relationship with a guy 12 years younger than me for over two years. 4 months in I realised that if I didn’t initiate sex, we wasn’t having any. So I stopped initiating to see what happened, after all this is a new relationship, surely he wants honeymoon sex? Nope! I have had several conversations with him about how this is making me feel and that it’s a bit of a concern having this sort of issue so early in to the relationship. So the long and short of it is, he is happy to get in bed 7 nights a week and not touch me, but thinks a 5 minute bunk up on a Saturday morning twice a month is acceptable. Initially his excuse was that he felt gassy and bloated in the evenings, now he has no more excuses. He is emotionally intimate to the point of irritation, as he can tell me I’m sexy and amazing everyday, but this needs to be backed up with some sexual desire/passion. I told him last week that to tell me I’m sexy and that you love me 5 times a day is a head fuck, and confusing, because you are still happy to get in bed every single night and not touch me, aside from a 5 minute cuddle before he falls in to a coma. I really don’t want to feel this much resentment towards him as he is otherwise a really good guy, but I can’t carry on like this, I’ve lost count of the amount of mornings I’ve woken up in tears. Should I give him one last chance or ask him to leave? I have approached this subject 5 time’s with him and he always happy to discuss but never changes anything. He knows I’m super unhappy, and that the lack of intimacy is making me feel insecure. I have broken down in tears several time’s whilst discussing this with him, and still here we are. I don’t know what to do any more.

OP posts:
VerySale · 10/01/2020 14:03

You should give up.

He knows it's an issue for you. He isn't interested in changing how things are. Move on.

Goldenwrapper · 10/01/2020 14:08

You have mismatched sex drives and it will just cause resentment on both sides in the long run. I would end it

SenselessUbiquity · 10/01/2020 14:09

end it

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53rdWay · 10/01/2020 14:10

End it. He's not doing anything wrong as such by having less interest in sex than you, but when you're this miserable now you're not going to be happy with each other in future.

mummaaw · 10/01/2020 14:13

Just leave him if it bothers you that match !

Ragwort · 10/01/2020 14:13

End it, you are sexually incompatible - nothing wrong with either of you but you clearly enjoy sex more than he does, so find someone else who matches your sex drive.

simone71 · 10/01/2020 14:15

This is the conclusion I keep returning to. Sad thing is I’m going through the menopause and mostly feel like crap lately, however I still have a good sexual appetite and feel like I’m wasting these years

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