Does it irritate and upset you to be bossed about by your DP about things that don’t concern him?

[Jaybird100]

Does it irritate and upset you to be bossed about by your DP about things that don’t concern him?

Stuff like being ‘instructed’ too much during sex (which does concern him but still), that I’m complaining too much about any illnesses, if I refuse a cuddle, he persists, etc

These things really wind me up for some reason to the point of wanting to run away, even though he’s a genuine good guy in all other regards.

Yep. Especially when I am told how my job works ....... a job he has never done nor is doing and is in a sector he has neither worked or is working in.

He doesn't boss me about because he's not an arsehole

My dh has specific ways he likes things done, which he will sometimes try and point out to me. Usually I light heartedly point out that I am doing it and unless he wants to, I'll do it my way, and it's fine. Sometimes I listen to him because he has been known to be right occasionally. Sometimes I roll my eyes and say yes dear, and then he knows hes being an arse. He very rarely pushes it any further than that unless it's really important to him.

Does it irritate and upset you to be bossed about by your DP about things that don’t concern him?

My DP doesn’t boss me about anything. The fact that yours does, and that he persists with cuddles you don’t want and instructs you in sex makes him sound like an asshole.

Obviously it’s good to communicate what you want during sex, but in a positive and respectful way.

Is he really a generally good guy, or are you glossing over some other shitty behaviour here too? The type of man who has no sympathy for you when you’re ill and is bossy doesn’t sound like a good guy to me.

I'm sorry but that's not right at all. Do you call him out on it?

He does not sound like a good guy if he is bossing you around in bed, or shutting you up about illnesses. And certainly doesn't sound like a good guy at all if he's forcing physical contact like cuddles!

You need to call him out on his bullshit. I do. And my husband is an actual good guy (even if he does have occasional lapses (see below;)

My friend had an issue with her cooker. I was telling DH about it and he informed me that she should cook the food by doing XXX random solution.

I just stared at him open mouthed and asked how often he cooked and when the hell did he become Gordon Fucking Ramsay? Of course the answer is, he never cooks at all. Cheese on toast is his absolute limit of cooking ability. Truly. But he ever so kindly had attempted to mansplain the "ever so obvious solution" to my friends issue. Of course I was fully aware that his apparent expert solution would have been sodding useless in reality and he had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

Move your thread to Relationships.

If this is your life then you need help and Relationships might be of help.

The details you mention sound like abuse. Basically, he doesn't want to deal with the fact that you are a real human being, let alone a real woman.
Stuff like being ‘instructed’ too much during sex (which does concern him but still), that I’m complaining too much about any illnesses, if I refuse a cuddle, he persists, etc

He's not a genuine good guy, he really isn't.

My dh might have an opinion but he wouldn't boss me around if he did try, I wouldn't let him boss me around without giving him grief back.

I agree that you need to explore this further in relationships.

And if he did try

He sounds like a horrible person

Why on earth would you want a boyfriend who bossed you around and hassled you and didn’t give you physical space?

He doesn't want a woman. he wants a blow-up doll. Never answers back, just sits there till he wants her.