Can't decide if I want to go to dad's funeral?

[Omegan]

Okay so BACKSTORY:

Mum and dad split up when she was pregnant with me. 'Dad'- never met him until I was 12 and then he disappeared again and I've not seen him since. Been in and out of rehab forever. I spoke to him a few times when I was 18 (27 now) but haven't had anything to do with him since. His brother is pushing me to go to the funeral (I don't think they want financial contribution) but my family don't think it's a good idea. Friend thinks I could get closure but it's on the other side of the country. What would you do if you were me?

I definitely don't @Cluckyandconfused

I would do whatever you want to do. I invited my Dad and his wife to my wedding because I was worried I might regret not doing so. Really, really wish I hadn’t bothered.

I didn't go to my Dad's funeral, and we were very close.
I didn't feel it was the right thing for me to do. Nobody pressured me either way (not that there were many people).
Everyone has their own way of grieving, and of this isn't due you, don't feel guilted into going to appease other people.

I would be worried if you went all you would hear is, aww is that "pauls" girl isn't she his double blah blah, that would get to me I think.

In that case, I wouldn't go.

You can't allow how your Mother might feel as to what you decide to do. My own Mother HATES my Father with a passion, even though they have both remarried at least 3 times each.

You really must do what YOU feel within yourself.

Your Mother will get over it.

You are being pulled all ways, by your family and by his. Do want you want and will feel happy with in years to come.

*if this isn't for you

I didn't go to my mum's funeral as I knew that there was a good chance of it turning into a huge drama and not how I wanted to remember her. Funerals are for the living. If you don't think it will help you, stay away.
If you choose to go, take a friend with you so you're not facing it alone.

Your family don’t think you should go, but what do you think? Set aside everyone else for now, what do you want in your heart?

Posters are right what do you want to do ? If you feel it is right to go then go ,

I have had a similar “relationship” with my dad. I wouldn’t go.

There should be zero pressure on you to go. He wasn't much of a dad to you. And you owe him and his family absolutely nothing.

Don't be influenced by what other people want of you, only go if you feel you want to. And it's ok if you do, too.