Baby weight - can someone explain?

[mistermagpie]

So I had a baby seven weeks ago. I put on three stone, as in I was three stone heavier at the end of the pregnancy than the start. I'm aware this is quite a lot but I was underweight in the first place so it was really an issue for the midwife or anyone. Anyway, about a stone of this disappeared with the birth (she was 6lb 5 and the rest must have been placenta/fluid etc). So now there is two stone left.

I'm quite down about it really but friends keep saying 'don't feel bad about the baby weight' etc. The thing is though, this isn't 'baby weight' is it? That first stone obviously was, but what's left is actually 'cakes and chocolate weight' isn't it? So it's no 'better' or more justifiable than if I'd just put two stone on randomly by eating too much.

Am I missing something here?

*wasn't really an issue

I think your friends are right and you're giving yourself a hard time. Try and relax and enjoy your baby. Eat well, you need to be healthy for you both. Miles of pushing that pram everywhere will sort out the weight.

Is it a health issue, as in you said you were underweight before pregnancy. So are you more of a normal weight now? The female body tries to lay down more fat during pregnancy for breastfeeding purposes, so you say the extra weight is for that. Are you breastfeeding as that burns a fair amount of calories. Guessing you were eating better during pregnancy so your body may have settled at a more healthy weight.

I gained 4 stones in pregnancy due to becoming immobilised by SPD. 2sts of baby, placenta and fluids went quickly, leaving about 2st of "me" weight which gradually got exercised and managed off by returning to sensible habits over the next year.
And repeat 2 years later.

Pregnancy and the new baby phase do muck up your usual habits, but be patient at gently getting back to normal.

I think it is different in that your body will have been trying to lay down extra fat, so it is hormonally driven in a way non pregnancy weight gain generally isn't. I put on about that much weight in each pregnancy as the only thing that stops the nausea was eating. DC3 is now 5 months and the weight is very slowly coming off, with the last 2 I found it hard to loose much until breastfeeding reduced when they were about 1. If your baby is only 7 weeks I really wouldn't worry about it yet, your body is still adjusting to not being pregnant.

Baby weight doesn't mean weight of baby plus water.

Your body has put weight on in other areas like bigger boobs to produce milk and extra padding to support the baby. It gradually falls off - especially once baby is weaned.

Your friends are right and you are giving yourself an unnecessarily hard time. You gained the weight over 9 months. Your goal should be to lose most of it over 9 months. (I'm not going to say lose all of it as you were underweight so probably need to keep some weight on)

It's all baby weight because you were eating differently than when you weren't pregnant and probably not exercising as much or as rigorously. Your body most probably put on the weight it felt it needed for your pregnancy.

Give yourself time to think about weight loss later - your baby is only 7 weeks! (Although I appreciate it must be hard if it's making you feel unhappy.) If it helps, my baby is a year old and I weigh only 2lbs lighter now than I did just after I'd given birth. And I was overweight to start with! So I have no excuse, but you're still in the fourth trimester. Be kind to yourself!

I gained over 3 stone both pregnancies, you naturally eat more and move less due to have a massive belly !
Don't be hard on yourself it definitely is baby weight just try and be healthier now

Of course it’s baby weight! You’re less active and getting less sleep, alongside the hormonal changes. While pregnant I used to wake up at 3 am ravenous and had to eat in order to get back to sleep. It was not optional!

It’s all Baby weight and it will go, but you might need to adjust your expectations of how long that will take. Having a baby is really stressful, especially at 7 weeks. I also felt like I’d been hit by a bus and found it hard to regulate both my emotions and incredible appetite while breast feeding.

There’s loads of conflict around expectations, sleep deprivation and hormones amplifying anxiety and worry for the first few months (and sometimes beyond) baby books and classes don’t talk about this enough. Please know that it’s ok to feel like you gained a lot and but your gain is normal and will sort itself in time. Right now just rest and recover and don’t give yourself guilt trips!

With me it wasnt the baby it was all the meat I put 3 stone on and I craved hotdogs,burgers,kebabs everything meat related

"That first stone obviously was, but what's left is actually 'cakes and chocolate weight' isn't it? So it's no 'better' or more justifiable than if I'd just put two stone on randomly by eating too much."

Hi op, I put on exactly 3 stone too so I have direct experience.

For me personally the first half a stone fell off almost immediately then the rest a bit more gradually (I was breastfeeding and constantly stuffing my face but lots of walking with the buggy). By 4 months post partum I only had half a stone left to go and by 6 months that had gone so I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 9 stone. So it took a total of half a year for the weight to fall off and I was pleased with that to be honest!

You're only 7 weeks in which is incredibly early days, please be kind to yourself. These things take time.

Also the extra weight you're now carrying isn't just pointless cakes and chocolate weight gain as you suggest above. Weight gain during pregnancy is a natural and normal way of your body preparing for life with a newborn. Your body assumes you're going to breastfeed so lays down important fat stores in preparation for this. I've obviously got nothing against formula feeding but hopefully knowing this will help you understand why the weight is there - your body has responded healthily and naturally to a massive life change.

Congratulations on the baby.

As well as fat for breastfeeding purposes, your blood volume increases in pregnancy (as in the total amount of blood in your system). Think it goes up by about a third. There are other "system" changes that take time re reverse. All the weight was necessary to grow and feed your baby. I put on over 5 stone with my twins and lost it all within 6 months. That was pretty extreme but it shows that the body can and will manage the process. 7 weeks is too soon to be fretting. Be kind to yourself and enjoy your baby. Eat some veg and some cake and get some fresh air and as much sleep as you can. The weight will come off itself or if it doesn't, then you might have to do more of a formal diet. But now is not the time.

What does it matter? You don't like it so change it, start eating better.

OP, I massively sympathise, the immediate postpartum period is horrible from a body image POV. I was similar to you and felt absolutely awful. It's not just the weight, it's the change in shape, the expanded hips, the belly, the swollen boobs. It makes it all seem worse, somehow. I've never felt so disconnected with my own body. I was also ravenously hungry all the time because of breastfeeding, it was this absolutely horrible, aggressive, animalistic hunger, like I'd tear through an entire loaf of bread at a time or get murderously angry at my husband if he touched my food. I wanted to scream at everyone who said bullshit like "oh the weight just falls off when you're breastfeeding". At six months postpartum I was a stone heavier than immediately after giving birth. For the first time in my life I was an overweight BMI and I was so miserable.

The good news is that it does get better. I'm 19 months postpartum, still breastfeeding but the horrible constant hunger went away and my pelvis/hips/ribcage started to feel less splayed out, my boobs are a normal size and within a year was back at my normal weight and now I'm actually a stone lighter than I was pre pregnancy (mostly from running about after a toddler i think, total gamechanger).

It takes time. I wish I had advice but in terms of your body, it's just something you have to ride out, I think. I wish I'd been kinder to myself though.

I did once read that a lot of the extra weight is due to additional blood volume.

Thanks for the replies, even the blunt ones Pumpkin

It does make sense that your body lays down fat in preparation for the baby/breastfeeding and it's true that I ate badly during the pregnancy. Not to do a drip feed but this is my third baby, so I understand that you put a bit of weight on obviously, but this was my only one with morning sickness and I could only manage that by eating beige food. It's also the only one that I have felt this down about being bigger afterwards.

I was technically underweight before - BMI was 18 point something, but I was just really fit at the time. I couldn't carry on exercising due to pelvic issues and the weight just piled on. I'll be 40 this year and I've got a thing in my mind about wanting to look nice for that. It's silly I suppose.

I put on six stone . Lost it all by the time my baby was a year old. A lot of it was water retention I think. You’ll probably find the weight drops off now. Eat more sensibly and get outdoors. You’ll be fine.