Pregnant - he want me to have a termination

[Kimberleyevel]

Please don’t judge. I have a healthy one year old boy (my first baby who turned one on Boxing Day) his father didn’t want him from the minute I told him I was pregnant, he did a runner, refused to help or pay for anything while I was pregnant & so I worked 7 days a week to make sure I had everything I needed for him. His father came back the week before I was about to have him wanting to get back together and be apart of his life.
Stupidly I believed his rubbish & we tried again for babys sake. I have found out I am pregnant again, I have caught whilst on the contraceptive pill. I’ve never believed in abortions as I was told I’d never conceived naturally and have had 4 previous miscarriages. I told the father and once again he his out of our lives like a shot telling me to get rid of the baby and accused me of not taking the pill. He didn’t see our son for a month and will not talk about the baby I’m carrying only to say he doesn’t care about it and to get rid. I have booked in for a termination at his wish and I don’t want to go through with it. I need help and advice please. Am I a bad person for bringing another child into this world knowing his/her father doesn’t want nothing to do with him/her & what a shitty dad he is to our son

You've done it once before and managed, it'll be twice as hard but you know you'll be able to do it again. I absolutely would not have even made a doctors appointment if this is all because of his choice/feelings.

I honestly don’t know why I have done it, I regret it so much

It is not his choice to make, only you can choose what to do. Please don't be so hard on yourself, you deserve kindness

Dont get an abortion if you dont wont one, but also I would again plan to be a lone parent. I dont think that is a bad thing as the dad has proven he doesn't care, not seeing your one year old for a month is shameful! Good luck to you.

Two babies are much harder than one, and as much as I am against abortion, if I were to get pregnant again (already have two DC), I would honestly consider it. HOWEVER, each to their own, and some women genuinely get depressed when they’re older because of them having had an abortion. It depends a lot on how far along you are too, I’d never get an abortion past 8weeks. I suppose for ethical reasons? But there are women who will not do it at all and that is understandable (that’s 95% me).

Don’t feel bad about booking the appointment, if you’ve only booked it for the sake of the baby’s father then front put yourself through with it because you will whole heartedly regret it without a doubt. But if a part of you is actually considering it, then going along to the appointment to discuss your options and personal circumstance won’t do any harm. Good luck x

Don’t **

I would never abort a baby I wanted or birth a baby I didn't want because of someone else's opinion.

If you want to continue the pregnancy and it's the right thing for you to do, that's what you should do.

Am I a bad person for bringing another child into this world knowing his/her father doesn’t want nothing to do with him/her & what a shitty dad he is to our son

It's your body, your right. And think about it like this... are you a good person for giving your children a sibling and mum who loves them?

Thanks for your kind comments. I am not going ahead with it, I want my baby and can’t wait to see what my little boy will be like with his sibling. I just know how hard it was first pregnancy on my own but it’s all I actually know, I only know how to do it alone and I can do it. I know it’s going to be double hard but I get double the rewards too.

Congratulations on your pregnancy I'm sure your DC will love having a sibling.

He is going to leave you regardless of what you do. He is scum.

Look at your life as though it's just you. You don't want to do this. It's your body and you are the one who will have to cope through it all.

What's your support network like? Does he have a job? Does he have family nearby?

Congratulations.

He sounds like an utter scum bag.

You’ve actually hit the jackpot with him leaving. I’d have nothing more to do with him. Move on, raise your children yourself. He is no father - he will continue to drop in and out of your children's lives and make everyone’s life a misery.

You are probably beat to keep him out of your life altogether. I know it’s hard but honestly, it sounds like it would be the best for you and your children in the long run.

Take care of yourself and look into all benefits you are entitled to - 7 days a week working in your last pregnancy must have been draining.

He will leave anyway. He will treat you like crap anyway.

Did you end up giving the baby his name instead of yours? Despite him being a utter wanker?

Yes, please say your baby has your name? Is he on the birth certificate?

This new baby - Keep him out of it. Don’t name him on the birth certificate and don’t give the baby his last name. It will make things much less complicated in future.

Also be wary of Him wanting to be part of your life again shortly before the baby is born. Unfortunately some of these so called men (and he’s not a man, he’s a nasty piece of work by the sound of it) want to claim some sort of ownership While the woman is hugely pregnant/just given birth and vulnerable - and then they fuck into the sunset again. Don’t let him mess with your life again.

Keep strong x

He has a well paid job but tells he has no money, currently living back at his mums. I gave my son my surname he didn’t deserve that. I’d rather keep him out of my life for good but feel sorry for my son but has made it clear he doesn’t give two cares about this baby and doesn’t intend on paying for my thing because he has his own bills 🤦🏻‍♀️ I won’t be letting him in my life again and although he doesn’t how much interest in my son, if I do say he should stay away from him I get called a bad mother. My mum is a good support for me but that’s all I have really. Thanks for the support and advice I have revived on here x

You have your mum - that’s a great thing at least.

He sounds like a bell end.

Don’t feel sorry for your son. It’s far worse to have a ‘father’ who comes in and out of your life, upsetting your mother and ignoring your sibling.

However, it’s not up to him to decide he can’t oh towards his son because he has bills.

You are perfectly entitled to peruse maintenance for the children. You don’t have to consult him about it. Your children are entitled to it if he sees them or not.

You won’t get called a bad mother for keeping away. You are a good mother keeping your children away from someone who could cause them emotional damage.

And if he dares to say you are a bad mother the than that is laughable. Keep strong and don’t let him make you feel bad.

Make sure youve out in a maintenance claim.