Help with moving forward after drugs in teen.

[Rainingdogsandcats]

I posted back in November about my ds (16) doing class A drugs.

Since then he's been grounded with the exception of school, work and coming/going out with family members. I've had his phone and his bank card so no access to cash except what he needs for travel, food etc.

DS has taken his punishment. We've gone mad at him ( initially), talked to him like adults, talked about our own experiences, ( DH lost a cousin, I was married to a user, lost a friend to od) and been open within the immediate family about it all.

So, obviously I can't, nor do I want to restrict his life forever.dh and I are coming to the point of letting him have some freedom back.

I don't really know how to go about this, the people involved don't go to his 6th form nor are they work colleagues.

Does anyone have experience in how to move forwards?

Does anyone have any advice.

I would sit down with him and ask him what he thinks is a reasonable way to move forward.

In 2 years he will be an adult and you’ll have no more control so this is a good opportunity to put your relationship on a more adult footing.

Explain to him that you absolutely won’t tolerate him using again and see what he would do in your place. How does he think he can demonstrate that you can’t trust him?

Wow, well done on your parenting. It must have been awful.
I think slowly but surely and lots of discussion.
Could you join some support groups, even if only online, to get advise from others who have been there?
Good luck

Wow what amazimg parents you are, and if he's in sixth form he came out with good GCSEs Too?

I'd ask him what a reasonable way forward is , say you trust him now , say if it happens again you'll go back to how it was before

Thank you for your responses.

I think we'll have a chat to him. I have to say it's been lovely having him around the family more. Since he has no devices in his room he comes and watches TV with us, gets involved with chats.

He's child number 3 of 6 and was badly bullied for a very long 18 months from year 7. I do believe all of the drugs and unsavoury behaviour stems from that but he's good at his job in hospitality and his co workers like him. He wants to go to uni and fortunately he can move around with his job too.

We have our eldest DD and her partner temporarily living with us at the moment whilst they buy a house and she and D's are very close. It's worked favourably for us and him having her and her chap around I think.

He's collecting Christmas trees with DH on Saturday for charity so they can have a chat them to get started.