Politely declining children’s party invitations

[DuchessofWoke]

Yes, I know as an adult I should be able to do this without resorting to fibs and excuses, but how do you politely turn down invitations for parties that your DC don’t want to attend?

One of my DC struggles with parties, can be a bit shy and they find them overwhelming. It totally depends on the event, some parties they happily go to and join in with, others I know straight away they will not enjoy. Church hall parties with entertainers seems to be particularly tricky. Parties with specific activities much easier.

So I’ve starting letting them pick and choose, which seems fair to me. But I’m struggling with knowing how to decline when the real reason is simply that my child doesn’t fancy it.

Agree with PP, the organiser will just want to know numbers. If you feel guilty, send a birthday card into school.

We’ve had parents decline invitations and directly tell us that their child does not like entertainers/ softplay, whatever it is. I’ve never really thought anything about it, and have simply thanked them for letting me know. Some children don’t like particular things, and that’s fine to be honest about.

Slightly different take on this. Firstly, it's totally fine for you/your children to pick and choose which parties they want to attend - that's grown up life too! And I think it's great that they know their own mind enough to have an opinion either way. Most people have said that it's enough to say, 'Thank you for the invite but X won't be able to make it.' Sure, that's fine, but if I received that as a host, I would immediately feel that it was insincere. At least make it a little more friendly, and show appreciation for the invite (I feel that this is basic manners). 'Hello! Thank you so much for the invite to X party. Unfortunately X isn't going to be able to make it but we appreciate the invite. Hope X has a great party!' However, I would be more inclined to tell a white lie just for the sake of kindness. 'Hi x! Thank you so much for inviting X to X's party. Unfortunately we have another family commitment that day so not going to make it, but hope X has a great party!'. Total lie, but the host will save face. POV: I have just been in the middle of party planning for 2 of my kids this month, and hosting and waiting for RSVPs can be very stressful! When people are slow or decline, you do wonder why! Nothing wrong with showing kindness. I also think that it's nice to show up to parties when you can. I always think of those kids who may not have many friends, or maybe everyone else is saying no as well. These days I think a lot of people are getting carried away with the notion of, 'I can just say no and I don't owe anyone an explanation.' Whilst true... let's not forget how people feel on the other end. How would YOU feel; what kind of response would YOU want?