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Original poster

Guilty marriage split

15 replies

Novemberrain77 · 07/01/2020 17:39

I feel so guilty for breaking up with husband. After years of no hugs or I love you anz his temper I have had enough. We argue he makes me cry never says sorry. See previous posts. I feel bad for kids an do feel bad for him. He works so hard and pays mortgage and bills but speaks to me awful.

OP posts:
WhenOneDoorClosesAnotherOpens · 07/01/2020 19:52

I haven't seen your other posts, but from your OP it sounds like you are very unhappy OP. Have you tried marriage counselling? If you've tried all options and feel divorce is best then maybe that is the best option for you and your family. Good Luck OP! Flowers

Original poster
Novemberrain77 · 10/01/2020 23:18

We have marriage guidance next Friday

OP posts:
springydaff · 11/01/2020 04:16

He speaks to you awful? I wouldn't bother with the marriage guidance iiwy.

By leaving him you're teaching your kids that you won't put up with being treated like shit. It's a vital lesson for them to learn.

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Original poster
Novemberrain77 · 11/01/2020 07:52

I know. I'm going so a third person can point out what he is like as he said to me he doesbt think he has anger issues. He works hard and pays mortgage and bills is his excuse for everything

OP posts:
springydaff · 11/01/2020 13:18

He will probably be charm itself in front of the counsellor..

YogaLite · 11/01/2020 14:22

Men look at crying as manipulative behaviour, best to speak up calmly.

Bluewater1 · 11/01/2020 14:26

Paying the bills is not going to make up for talking to you in an awful way. The marriage counsellor should see through him when you give your version of events Flowers

Original poster
Novemberrain77 · 11/01/2020 15:02

I am hoping the marriage counsellor will see through him this is why I need to do it for my own sanity. I am calm now when I sya what's what and he is starting to want to make changes becuae I feel he knows I'm serious

OP posts:
springydaff · 11/01/2020 18:53

Marriage counselors doubt necessarily see through the facade. It depends how good the slimeballs are at it

Counselling with an abuser isn't recommended, it opens you up to deeper abuse that is hard to come back from.

Original poster
Novemberrain77 · 11/01/2020 22:57

Well I need someone to tell him he has anger issues. He said he hasn't but only last night out of desperation said he will go anger management

OP posts:
springydaff · 12/01/2020 12:36

And if he goes in there all sweetness and light, the loveliest guy on the planet? Who openly gaslights you in front of the therapist? Who makes you look mad, controlling, emotionally unstable?

Original poster
Novemberrain77 · 13/01/2020 22:52

No I am hoping I can mention what he does and then they can talk to him

OP posts:
MsMellivora · 14/01/2020 02:41

Are you going to give very specific examples because I am sure he will try and twist everything you say to suit him.

Original poster
Novemberrain77 · 14/01/2020 06:25

I don't think he will twist it. We shall see Friday morning.

OP posts:
springydaff · 14/01/2020 13:58

Well be prepared. It's shocking when it happens.

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