Childcare when I go away

[MinnieMountain]

I work PT, so during the week I do all mornings school runs for DS and 3 pick ups. MIL takes DS on my full work days.

This gets a bit annoying when I want to go away as I feel it's up to me to arrange childcare for bits I'd normally do. Whereas DH doesn't have to consider it when he goes away.

Is this fair or should I be asking DH to deal with some of it? I can see it both ways.

DH commutes 2 days, WFH 3 days.

Of course your DH can arrange childcare. He is their parent! It’s not difficult ffs, just takes a bit of organisation. If you keep doing it for him he gets away with slacking off. Just book a few days away, let him know dates etc and let him crack on.

I am confused - you want your DH to do the school runs when you are away (not unreasonable) or just sort them for you (unreasonable - you agreed to the run so need to find someone).

Can he not do pickups on WFH days?

I feel a bit like this as DH has two trips with friends planned and I'm trying to arrange a trip with my friends but the nursery drop off logistics are tough. DH works 500 miles away in the week do he's not much help! I just put it down to being a parent and it's a juggle.

I hear you. My DH just tells me when he is away for whatever reason, whereas I always have to scrabble around making sure kids will be sorted before I can commit to anything. I would always tell him I need to be away and make sure it didn't cause any clash for him, but got no mutual information from him, because I am the default child collector.

It drove me mad for years. I now just treat him the same way and inform him if I need to be away for work and leave it to him to arrange childcare (his mum). If I am away, I am not the one with the childcare problem. That may not sit well with many people, but I did not choose to be default parent forever, and he is quite insistent that my career is equally as important.

Hmm. 50:50 then, I need to have a chat with him.

I agreed to do the run as part of the overall plan for what is best for our family (DH earns more than me and can't get a PT job).

He can't pick up on WFH days. DS needs some supervision (he's 6) and DH needs to work at least until 5pm.

Surely 6 is old enough to sit with TV and a snack til 5 on the odd occasion?
Who would he turn to for childcare?

If your DH isn't on conference calls or otherwise interacting with colleagues etc, there's no reason why he can't do pick ups and finish his work off afterwards.

I would have also thought at 6 years old they can be left 3.30-5pm in the same house, and just play, snack, watch a film while DH finishes work.