Anything else we need to prep for baby

[Thoughtlessinengland]

So, wanted to dump my brain as we await DC2 anytime now..... we have DS1 aged 4 and now expecting DD. Both working full time with no family around. Short maternity leave and return to work/career around June. Also have a small furry canine who was actually a puppy when DS was born 4 years ago (not sure how we handled that with confidence but then again I’ve forgotten everything from that time!) - so this times peeps are more haphazard and less thought out - anything I’ve missed?

1. Hospital bag is packed with some stuff for me, some for the baby. Have a doula as birth partner although spouse will be around but main support from doula who is now on call.

1. Have friends/colleagues locally on stand by to take DS if labour hits outside of his 8-6 nursery hours

1. Chico next to me dusted down from 4 years ago and set up in main bedroom with a box of nappies wipes nappy cream bags and a small table lamp next to bed.

1. Travel cot thingy similarly done and set up downstairs for daytime initially with similar changing box of stuff. Small bins upstairs and downstairs for nappies - small cos will be regularly emptied

1. A weeks worth of dinners cooked and frozen

1. Food cupboard packed up with cereals rice pasta pastes sauces condiments tea coffee canned fish veg etc. Freezer packed with frozen veg, frozen meat, and quick and easy things like garlic bread pizza chips and nuggets

1. DS moved on to mid sleeper bed and den underneath super happily a month ago. DS out of nappies both night and day and all ok on that front

1. Infant car seat bought and in car. New Pram sustem from NCT Nearly new sale bought and ready. Changing bag for me and one for spouse also packed with essentials and ready. Close Caboo for me and something for him also ready - having bought for pennies in NCT sale

1. Spare room sorted with new firm mattress sheets pillow duvet etc for anyone at needs a break/rest/uninterrupted sleep

10. Baby bouncer from old times ready

11. Some colostrum collected as although not diabetic etc was inspired by local trust to do so - have 20 3ml syringes frozen - and adding one a day while I wait.

12. Also have a medela hand and medela electric pump, some storage bags and some calma teats and bottles but not worrying about all that just yet. Will do when start expressing and offering bottle. Now is not the time to faff about figuring out all that again I decided. Lansinoh, nursing bras, nursing vests at the ready. As are pads, measuring jugs for pouring water for peeing, and some lavender oil and tea tree oil.

13. Friends/colleagues ready to visit/meet up for lunches and cake.

14. Netflix playlist on the making (horror connoisseur and crime connoisseur here so a good list on the go).

15. Ph somehow managed to go for pregnancy yoga classes this time so now spending evenings doing labour yoga poses and the breathing stuff. Nothing major just stuff that keeps me from slouching back (frowns at DS who was back to back, but gleams at DD who seems to be perfectly positioned apparently)

Phew that was huge! Have I missed something? The change from 1-2 is feeling highly chaotic and different from preps for DS which were calm, and bloody hell evertbing was new and cost a ton. This time it’s all come from NCT nearly new sales - did I mention I got sleepsuits for 15 for £1?! Jus car seats new I think that’s it.

I think that’s about it but if anything else strikes anyone - particularly about the dynamic between 4 year old DS (who will continue to be in full time nursery by the way during my short Mat Leave) most useful. Thankfully DS has an array of Christmas toys and crafts still being explored and we are stocked up with treats for DDog so hopefully they can be kept distracted if and when needed.....

Wow! You are way more organised than I was! Only things I would add are a small gift from your eldest to the baby and one from the baby to him so he feels special/included. And a white noise toy for night time. Good luck!

Have you got large stocks of chocolate, cake and biscuits?

Have you got a new mattress for the next to me crib? If it’s been in storage for a few years it would be wise to get a new one. Other than that....wow, that is serious organisation!

A plan for getting your eldest to school/childcare in the early days?
Any bits that might make life easier should you end up with a c sec?
Water bottle with a straw is always handy

Lounge wear for you. Not pj's but so you feel dressed! Hair accessories for easy hair do 's!!

This makes me feel extremely unprepared for my second

You seem to be really on top of things. In terms of the dynamic between 4yo and baby I can only speak to my own experience but I have found it to be much more manageable than the smaller age gaps friends have experienced. Perhaps you just need to have a contingency plan in place in case you end up having a c section - if you can’t drive or ever walk very far how will DS get to nursery and will you be able to pick baby out of a travel cot (which involves a lot of bending down).

even walk*

Can you afford a cleaner op? If you can I’d book someone in for a weekly/fortnightly clean. Even just for the first few months if money’s tight. I’ve just had dc2 and my house is a riot!

Also,what’s your laundry drying situation like? If you don’t use a tumble drier I’d recommend a heated drier from Lakeland. The increase in washing is pretty steep - my ds is refluxy and prone to peeing on everything at nappy changes so we go through a lot in a day!

Lastly, admin...do you have paperwork that needs doing? Don’t do a me and leave your tax return or maternity allowance forms to be completed after your baby arrives! (DD1 and DS 2 respectively 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Other than that, you’re killing it! Best of luck.

Oh. And get a haircut before the baby comes! That’s priceless advice. I again learnt the hard way...

Have got a haircut, facial, massage and brows done today!!! Yes to water bottle, yes to drier and paperwork. Also got gifts.

Cleaner is a good idea but true haven’t thought of C sections plans. Hmm. My spouse is going to be off for 3 weeks and DS sand Ddog will be sent off for first few days to stay with grandparents and pet sitter respectively to give some space and quiet.... but excellent ideas all :)

Please rethink sending ds away.
He needs to be involved therewith you not sent off!
He will forever associate new baby with being sent away.
Dont do it.
You are super organised but sending ds away should not be on your list.

The dynamic needs to be new baby is here come and have a cuddle. Would you like to pass the nappy? Let a read a book whole he s sleeping. Aren't you a clever big brother ?

Not here s your new baby sibling off you go away from here.... see you in a few days. That s the wrong message..

Snack kits! Fav books! Night light for night feeds and nappy change?

Those absorbent pad things that go under your sheets to protect the mattress if your waters go at night.

Agree with pp about not sending ds to grandparents. Have them on call for babysitting or a day out if you need but not days away. Maybe even have some pull ups stashed away, new sibling can often cause a little night time regression.

Definitely re think sending your ds away for a few days, imho he needs to be there. As a total aside have you applied for his school place? Just some paperwork that needs doing!

Ime you really won't want or need your ds to be anywhere but sharing in the new baby experiences.
I know a family where the oldest was never near the baby for family treating him to trips outs and special 1on 1 attention.
They have zero relationship at 16 +12.
Your ds needs to bond just the same as you and dh.

Ooooh DS is super super excited about staying with Nana and Daddad for 2 days! He’s packed and re packed zillions of times and has so many plans - he treats those visits as so rare and precious he’s constantly talking about it at pre school. Will chat at home further and see how things go :)

And yes he’s decorated her crib and made numerous things for her already. And yes did school visits and sent in application the week they opened. They did get back last week saying they were missing council tax number but sorted that and all re submitted now- wanted that out of the way.

Will chat about trip to Nana and Daddad tomorrow with him but seeing as he’s besotted with them and is packed for it not sure how to now change plans and dissuade him or even if we need to! Will just see how it goes - my MIL is a total sweetheart and may just come and offer to stay with him a night or whatever suits.

Reading your update I would beware of ds feeling superior to his sibling.
That's what happened to my friend's ds. He was treated like a king and his sibling was not. Doesn't bode well for a healthy sibling relationship..

Can I add, slip a blank card in your bag, if you have a good midwife, Doctor etc etc, then a thank you card is amazing to give as it helps with professional revalidation.

Oh why would he feel superior?! He’s a total sweetheart and talks about meeting her everyday is slightly graphic terms ...”when is baby sister coming out?” And I keep saying just “coming” not “coming out!!” - the most adorable thing is if he’s hurt or something or if he’s been shouted at by a playmate at pre school he insists to telling baby sister about it almost as though she will somehow take his side from inside me!! Lots of my colleagues here had DC1s visit GPS for a couple days or GP come by a bit - so should be okay I think. DS is such a chilled out relaxed kid :)

Snacks and a box of toys for your 4 year old. Just having a few books, jigsaws and Lego next to where I’d nurse the baby, plus snacks to hand made it so much easier during the cluster feeding stage.

I think you may be reading a tad too much into the whole king treatment etc by the way - none of that is planned - the problem perhaps might be when visiting my family in continent far far away - me being only child my DC are bound to get thoroughly spoilt and then we shall have TWO spoilt DC urg! Now - just waiting for labour to hit anytime. Braxton Hicks are beginning to feel ever so slightly strongish....... hmmmm

Yes toy box good shout! His routine stays the same Mon to Fri with FT nursery as per usual at my workplace nursery so it’s the mornings evenings and weekends where we will have both and yes good shout about snacks and toys