Dp has finally just left me - just need a hand hold and vent pls

[Tinaarena]

Sorry posting for traffic right now.

It's been rocky all over Christmas, it wasn't the best time at all. After over a years worth of arguments and problems which I thought we were finally working on together, he was out with ds all afternoon, Brought him back waited until I put him to bed then I saw a bag in the Hall and he said he was going because he cant bare me any longer.

I dont know why im writing this, im just sitting here alone, ds is asleep and I cant stop crying. I guess its been on the cards for a while but I had a panic attack earlier on. I dont know what I should be doing.

Oh goodness you poor love. Do you have family/friends nearby who could come round now to help? If not maybe bed with something easy to watch on Netflix?

Ive not told my mum in all this time, I put on a brave face over Christmas and even now I cant bring myself to say those words that he's left me.

I feel like such a failure right now.

You’re not a failure. The relationship didn’t work our but you were both in that relationship. Please don’t blame yourself.

You have your beautiful son with you and you will get through this.

This is a crap time if year for something like this to happen, but ease trust us, you'll get through this and be much happier this time next year.

Next year seems like such a long time away.

He originally left before Christmas but for the sake of ds we agreed to postpone it and in that time we got on really well, not like the old days but no screaming at all, very civil in fact.

To have someone in your life for 20 years then they tell you they can’t bare you though

That's cruel. And mean.

Now watching ds walk around the house looking for his dad. I have no excuse to tell him, I said he’s gone for a bike ride but what do I tell him, he’s 7 so not stupid

Tell him you both love him very dearly and always will.

Because you have differences you are happier apart.

So Dad is going to stay away from you but not him.

He will still see Dad and can skype/ phone him each day (would dad be up for that?)

Beyond that keep explanations simple, focused around his needs rather than adult emotion. He may have questions just answer as honestly as you can.

You will get through this. One day at a time. The fog will rise and you will rediscover yourself and your sense of happiness.

It’s very selfish of him to leave without agreeing how to tell your son. You could suggest counselling to agree how to co parent and when/how to tell your son.

Have you told any friends or family and do you need to get any paperwork together to either secure your home or prove his earnings as he will need to pay maintenance.