what's the etiquette for taking shoes off?

[Christmasgrinch234]

I recently went to get my hair cut at hair dressers. We went to school together and did hang out quite a bit back in the day. My 'friend' also cuts hair at home.

She said she had recently had Sarah Green* at her house and she made herself too comfortable by taking her shoes off at the door.

To be honest, I'd probably take my shoes off too going into a house too. I always thought you did especially if it's carpeted?

She still lives at home, and if it's the same as I remember her parents are extremely house proud.

Also, I don't plan on meeting up anytime soon as she is still bitchy as ever.

I always take my shoes off and expect people to do the same. I don't want shit and god knows what else trodden of my carpets

Surely it’s normal and good manners to offer to take your shoes off and let the host tell you. We’re a mostly shoes on household (no carpets or crawling babies) so I’d be a bit weirded out if someone just whipped theirs off.

If you go through the living room to get to the salon part of the house then maybe. I used to visit someone who cut hair in her house but the “salon” was inside the doorway so didn’t remove shoes.

Ask them if they are a shoe free house

It's very lower middle class . (There's a thread on this in AMA atm which is how I know!)

It smacks a bit of having the sofa covered in plastic, but generally, when you are hosting someone, you want them to feel at home, even if that means shoes off/on. I roll my eyes invisibly as I find it gauche and precious to ask someone to take their shoes off, but if I went somewhere that there was a rack of shoes by the door, I would offer, and obviously, would comply if requested also.

Actually - joking apart, it really is probably a class thing

As a guest, I’d offer to take my shoes off - and would probably do so regardless if it’s wet out.

When people visit, I’m not fussed it it’s dry, but prefer rather wet shoes to be taken off.

I didn't realise it was a class thing, and I didn't realisse its such a big deal.

I just thought it was so you don't tread dirt into the carpets.

@NoncePieforSanta

I did see it mentioned on the AMA which made me think.

How is it a class thing? Working class and the truly middle don't take off shoes?

Was it more of a traditional working class thing due to tradesmen shoes?

TBH I prefer being shoe free as it's more comfortable but i'd happily spend my time in dry weather shoe free.

I didn't realise it was a class thing, and I didn't realisse its such a big deal.

I just thought it was so you don't tread dirt into the carpets.

Whether or not you have fitted carpet is a class thing. Also whether or not you have someone to clean up.

Everyone I know takes off shoes at the door - that's said my circle of friends are at upper end of middle class I suppose as far as socioeconomic groups are calculated, even though we grew up with diverse backgrounds from inner city comp to boarding school.

Surely it also depends how muddy/dirty your shoes are? But I would offer because everyone is different.

I don't really understand how it's a class thing. And I don't see how it's precious to not want mud trodden into your carpets.

Maybe she'd just recently trodden in some dog shit and didn't want to take any risks

Well, sentient adults usually wipe their feet on a mat, so don't actually tread mud through other people's (or their own) homes...

But as PP said, I think it's more about fitted carpets/having someone else to clean up /anxieties around perfection in the home and what other people will think etc. Plus, in really upper class homes, you wouldn't want to have your shoes off - they're generally the sort where you wipe your feet on the way out

It also depends on the type of footwear too - sweaty feet from trainers/work boots from the farm/high heels from court etc. My grandfather used to take his clothes off with his boots, after working down the pit, in the wash house. But they lived in the posh cottages that had them . Presumably if you didn't, you might take your boots off at the door - but probably not your clothes unless you wanted a conviction for public indecency . I wonder if there's a correlation between those who have shoes off homes and those who put their pj's on as soon as they get home/think it's disgusting to lie on the bed in "outside clothes" (eg not pyjamas)?

Historically, and pre-vacuum/steam cleaners, it would have been more of an issue - in the 21st century, it does seem precious to put two minutes of your time over your guest's comfort/not wishing to expose smelly feet/snag tights/shoe off holey socks. But each to their own.

As I don't always wear shoes outside, though, I'm probably not entirely qualified to comment

Just do what the host does/asks surely? Why does anyone agonise over this? I keep a pair of trainer socks in my handbag/back pocket if I'm not wearing them already and I might go somewhere that's shoes off as I don't like to have completely bare feet. Easy.

daydreambeliever I think it's the diversity of backgrounds that makes that the norm. People who grew up UMC wouldn't normally do this, as it wasn't much of a thing until relatively recently.

I offer, most hosts say there's no need.

Well, was considered very non-U rather than "not much of a thing* at least (Because of fitted carpets vs hard floors/having cleaners etc as PP said up thread)