Broaching Maintenance Increase...

[SkySmiler]

With difficult ex, sporadically see's DS6, currently pays £80 fortnightly, but with his top of the range BMW and hot tub I'm know he could afford more.... Just struggling with how to raise it via text convo, justification is DS appetite increasing and interests becoming more expensive, football subs, parkour etc... Just dont know how to open dialogue in friendly-ish, non begging manner!

CMS?

Why not do it through the CMS? (Or whatever it’s currently called)

If he’s only paying £40 pw surely you’d get more doing it properly?!

Go through the official channels.

Go through CMS

I'd also go through CMS unless he's self employed because then he will just say he doesn't earn anywhere near what he actually does and from experience it's a nightmare. Otherwise just say you've been calculating and with DS getting bigger and enjoying more activities costs are going up and the maintenance he pays should reflect this. Good luck!

Yes self employed of course, need I say more...! Tq MaryBear just needed an opener as such

CMS. Do you know what his salary is?

Ah, self employed is a difficult one then, he can easily declare his earnings to be less than they are. A lot of scumbag men do this.

How well do you get on with him, do you think he would be reasonable?

Send him a list of stuff eg DC needs football boots.

Sent and read...! - but not acknowledged yet 🤞

Hope he sees sense and doesn't decide to be a pillock about it.

I’m in the same boat. 5 years this month and it’s never increased. But the costs have and I’m worried he’s going to kick off because he’s always been money orientated

Ignored and normal amount paid... Arsehole

I feel for you @SkySmiler These people are disgraceful. My ex left the Navy 7 years ago and the CMS chased him for 5 years to get money as he pulled the self employed trick. He was on a deduction from earnings order when in the Navy so obviously not keen to pay. Anyway, he paid for 16 months (still missed a few weeks when he couldn’t afford it) and now hasn’t paid for 7 months. He didn’t even contact DS over Christmas 🤦‍♀️ You could still try CMS but I think you probably won’t get anywhere, I feel very angry for you.

Thanks #SuperMeerkat I feel for DS as other DS has a dad who pays extra maintenance, buys clothes, brilliant presents, fab trips and holidays abroad, just wanted to try and enhance other DS life as best I could....

Can you provide supporting info like an email from the school showing school dinners have gone up 30p per day.

Or reference specific (preferably boy-related) costs like football boots or bike.

Or point out that the other dad is “more supportive of his son”. Try & provoke a bit of competitiveness.

When you were with him, do you know if he filed his tax return correctly? Is he honest with HMRC with his incoming and outgoings?

If you know he has been doing his tax returns properly and not hiding money, then go through CMS.

Yes he does 'give in' sometimes if I apply a bit of emotional blackmail, will send an extra few quid if I say DS upset as brilliant dad has taken other DS for brilliant experiences, I hate doing that tho... No nothing of his tax returns unfortunately.

Would looking on companies house help ?

Probably not SG, he'd get really shitty if I done that...