I really don't know what to do about my mum and dad. They're both 73 so not that old, but my dad has developed various ailments - diabetes that needs daily insulin, water retention ,sciatica, weight gain, blood pressure, heart failure etc..etc.. Hes on all sorts of pills and has been for at least 10 years. Due to all his issues he's pretty much housebound (though he does still drive) and just sort of plods along watching TV, sudoku and going on his laptop. He's a very heavy smoker - we're talking 30 + a day, Because he's not particularly active, he has trouble sleeping and so can be up half the night. Unfortunately he fills the time in by eating and smoking which is rubbish for his heart and rubbish for his blood sugar. He leans on the windowsill having a smoke and on more than a few occasions has fallen asleep stood up, while propped up on his elbows, and ended up in a heap on the floor 😥 Hes also dropping things, such as lit cigarettes onto the floor or himself, and basically burning holes in everything. He's a danger to himself. Hes also started hallucinating and having full on conversations with neighbour's who have long gone and has even got up and got dressed at 4am one morning to let me in (I wasn't there) as hed just been 'talking to me on the phone and I'd said I was coming round!' Hes up and down from the Drs .They say hes hallucinating due to lack of sleep and have given him sleeping pills,but my mum says he sleeps half of the day so I'm not 100% sure it's that. Googling his various symptoms is pointing at possible Parkinson's disease, but he doesn't have tremors or anything, so we feel completely helpless 🙁
Then there's my mother.
This is a woman who has lived on her nerves for the last 50 years. I don't think I've ever known her to not be worrying about something. She had a slight stroke about 20 years ago when my grandad died,due to stress, which left no physical symptoms, but it did affect her psychologically.Shes basically become dads carer. She has to remind him to take his pills, pick up after him, watch him all the time so he doesn't bloody set fire to himself or the house !! Shes getting to the end of her tether. Shes not eating as she's so worried all the time. Today is the first time I've really understood how its affecting her life. Dad had a hospital appointment and wasn't feeling up to driving so me and my husband took them.Anytime we ring or go round, they generally put a brave face on so I've not really been too worried about them coping. I feel awful now. Me and mum aren't that close and I'll be honest, it felt strange for her to confide in me. I've got 2 sisters and after chatting with them, they weren't really aware how bad things were either, so our parents are struggling along and we're all at work / kids / own problems and we've just sort of left them to it.
I've looked at Age Concern online just to see if there was anything or anyone that could give me some advice, but I'm thinking as mums ok healthwise and can look after my dad, I don't think there's much help out there. I'm not talking benefits as they seem to be ok for money, but something like social services??