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Original poster

I’ve just started building a career and feel shit at work

12 replies

Choosername · 04/01/2020 00:05

I’m 36 and have only just started a job where everyone else is younger than me and much more experienced.

I’ve had shit jobs before this and can’t really talk about my background or experience in meetings, which is so embarrassing. The worse this week the CEO has emailed everyone complimenting people and distributing tasks and aims for the year and the project I was supposed to be handling has been given to someone else more experienced. In a 3 page document everyone else was mentioned by name apart from me.

I want to leave, and I feel like crying. I have no confidence at all after this and don’t want to go back to work on Monday.

OP posts:

chillichutneysarnie · 04/01/2020 00:10

How long have you been there? Not long by the sounds of it - could it be just symptoms of being a new person in the team?

Original poster

Choosername · 04/01/2020 00:10

Anyone? Could do with a chat and advice

OP posts:

Original poster

Choosername · 04/01/2020 00:13

Thank you @chillichutneysarnie. Yes I started in July. Could it be just I’m too inexperienced? And it’s not been done on purpose? But it’s made me feel shit. I even sat down with the person who was going to hand the work over to me and they were really happy to let me have it.

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mildlymiffed · 04/01/2020 00:15

@chosername could it possibly be a mistake? If you'd already been handed over the work?

Original poster

Choosername · 04/01/2020 00:24

@mildlymiffed I’m not sure. When it was given to me, I was told that the head had a few different ideas about getting other more professionals to do some aspects, but I was told I would coordinate it. It sounds like I’m not wanted to do this either now.

I don’t know what to do on Monday. Whether to just not mention it and relinquish it. Or whether to ask why I’m not involved. I don’t even feel like doing anything there anymore. And the worse, the work has been given to a woman who hardly does any work, is always calling in sick, gets me to do the work she’s meant to be doing and then somehow gets praise. 4 people in my role have left in the past year which makes me think she’s the cause. There is work that has been left since 2016 that she claims another person should have done it ..but that person left in 2018 .

OP posts:

Original poster

Choosername · 04/01/2020 00:25

I’m not attending the team meeting because it’s too embarrassing sitting there not being mentioned. I put myself in this position to better myself, but I feel like I’m making a fool of myself and I can’t bear the embarrassment of stepping out of my comfort zone any more, even though this is what every self help book tells you to do.

OP posts:

LittleMy77 · 04/01/2020 00:33

If you don't attend the team meeting everyone will notice - and surely you cant decide to just not attend? This would be more embarrassing to me than not being mentioned

If you're new and trying to make a positive impact this isnt really they way to do it. I'd wager (in the nicest way) most ppl won't realize who's not listed on the presentation

mildlymiffed · 04/01/2020 00:37

@chosername ...it's okay to be a bit pissed off, but for the sake of your new career, dust yourself off. If it's bothering you, find some quiet time to speak with someone more senior and explain that you were looking forward to the responsibility. Explain that you'd like a challenge and to grow, and that if there are any further opportunities you'd really like to be considered.

Don't let this set you back. It's a blip...

Original poster

Choosername · 04/01/2020 00:52

Thank you.

@LittleMy77, yes you’re right. It’s not the right thing. I don’t know if people will notice, but my manager will and the woman it’s been offered to Will aswell. And that’s enough.

@mildlymiffed I can’t really speak to anyone, it was my manager who mentioned and set it all up for me to take on if I wanted. Then I was told it wasn’t happening and then I was told I could coordinate it by the person passing it to me. So many mixed messages, I feel like saying “thanks but not thanks” and telling them I’m happy with what I’m doing. Very deflating.

OP posts:

dreichnolonger · 04/01/2020 02:15

You can't avoid team meetings OP, this isn't going to help at all.
Who is your line manager? Arrange a meeting with them, explain you seem to have been left off the task allocation list and you would like some projects for the next year.
Ask for your old project back.
If they don't want to give you a project you need a conversation about what you need to show at work before you can have one.
Then draw up a list of actions with your manager and review them regularly to make sure you are making progress.

chillichutneysarnie · 04/01/2020 10:20

OP, do they have a probation period and reviews? And regular appraisals. If so use these to express your views and ideally HR should be in the meetings too. If this isn't the setup then that's a big indication they don't care about their staff and maybe a reason to move on if things don't improve quickly.

chillichutneysarnie · 04/01/2020 10:28

PS re the way your feeling, remember that if they hired you then they thought your prior experience and skills are good enough, it's too expensive and time consuming to hire someone you know won't work out 🙂. I'm new in my job and it's a step up, I constantly feel inadequate at the moment but I keep reminding myself of the above and it makes me feel a bit more secure.

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