How old to have the "how babies are made" chat?!

[GallopingGreen]

My son is 8 and has no interest and quite happily thinks babies come when a mum and dad love each other... but not all are lucky and so not all have babies. I think I must have told him this at 4 and he has never questioned it since.

However at what age did you have the talk about how babies are made with your child? And what level of detail? It's only come up for me as a friend told me her son (also 8) had asked and so she was straight up with him. Fair enough, but now I know it will be discussed in the school yard I want to prepare my ds!

To be honest I'm a bit sad. Seems like a loss of innocence to tell him :(

A loss of innocence? Bizarre way of looking at your child learning a bit of biology.

We’ve done age appropriate stuff as we’ve trundled along. Mine is younger than yours and understands the process. No loss of innocence 😂

Babies are a wonderful, joyful thing, not something to be sad about or something shameful.

I never had a talk as such but just explained things as and when from about 3. My 9 year old knows the facts.

Seems like a loss of innocence to tell him

Learning proper biology has zero impact on a child's innocence. My children both knew how babies are created by 4 years of age.

I think 8 is probably on the later end of normal, so I would crack on and talk to him asap. Just be factual and answer any questions honestly.

Don't be surprised if you find that he already knows at least some of it. I reckon most kids probably know the basics by that age, so he may well have picked up on stuff in school.

And I agree with previous posters. Understanding a bit of human biology doesn't in any way signify a loss of innocence.

Where they grow from about 2 1/2 (when we adopted his younger sibling) and how they got there from about 4 but with the aid of a book.

Yes you are completely right! Thanks for setting me straight! Have had lots of talks about body changes, private areas etc but this has just never come up at all...

Mine was 7 as they were starting to use the word ‘Sex’ but clearly didn’t know what it meant so it was coming up in odd places.

I said I needed to explain what it really meant. She thought it was the most hilarious thing she’d ever heard and laughed for ages.

It was fine. He’s reaching an age where his or his classmates bodies will start changing so a bit of info about what’s going on is probably good now.

DD knows where babies come from because she's always watched Call the Midwife with me. She also knows she came out of the c-section scar on her mum's tummy, and that we needed a helpful daddy to make her. She's nearly 3. I don't think she's lost much innocence yet.

From 3 nwsrds

Mum told me at 7 after making the mistake of waiting with my sister who hit her period T 8.

Mine (9) asked a lot of questions over the years and has built up most of the knowledge... just not the actual question of how daddy's seed/sperm meets mummy's egg. I have a couple of books on standby on the theme, but the topic hasn't come up recently.

They know about periods when an unused egg and it's nest of blood is cleared out of the body as they have an instinct for gatecrashing at the critical moment when I'm dealing with a mooncup!

The Y4 class are due to have PSE about puberty later this year.

But what do you actually say? So far I have described sex as a special cuddle between adults who are a couple together" my daughter seems to have no curiosity, though she knows the proper body part names.... and had not asked more, but I am thinking I should go further before she hears rubbish from other source!

What age do you literally say penis going into vagina, ejecting sperm etc...?

Yup that's exactly where I am @ShinyGiratina

My four year old son knows (in an age-appropriate way) how babies are made, he’s still innocent! Frankly I find it alarming that you’ve allowed your child to reach almost secondary school age without knowing basic biology because you think it will ‘damage his innocence’

I told mine that the penis goes into the vagina from age three onwards.

Has your child never watched a nature program? Reproduction is not scandalous mystery.

Answer honestly the questions asked in an age appropriate way. Don’t lie. End of!
Ps procreation is normal op... honestly there’s no stork or cabbage patch

But what do you actually say?

I have been literal so far, so I've explained to DD that someone put a little tube into mummy's vagina and squirted some seed into her tummy, and it grew into a baby, which was her.

I didn't especially intend to have the conversation at the time, but DD seemed to find it quite matter-of-fact, which makes me wonder whether it's the idea of sex that makes us adults feel coy. I definitely found it less embarrassing to explain to her than I imagine sex might be, but then she is a child and isn't more embarrassed by one thing than the other, so I do think perhaps directness isn't actually a bad thing for children.

Perhaps a book might help? 'It's perfectly normal' by Robbie Harris is frequently recommended. Even if it's just for you to put sex education in more age appropriate and factual language.

My friend has been teaching her DD about periods with 'Welcome to your period' and said it really helped her reframe the conversation as she had been taught periods were rather regrettable. We just need a 'Goodbye to your period' now the menopause is stalking us.

Thanks- I think the book will be a good next step. Honestly it has never come up!! Forget my comment about losing innocence- it was more about growing up fast- sorry!

DS is 9 and technically knows about a lot of things, from contraception and consent, to lesbian and gay sex, how babies are conceived, and the correct terminology. This is partly from him asking questions, and partly from picking things up in the playground.
I say technically because apparently he finds it all rather boring.
Give him a few years........

From a school education point of view, sre is on the curriculum form reception, but is very much age appropriate and focussed on families and relationships.

Sex is first covered in a ‘this is how a baby is made’ in year 5 in science biology lessons.

Puberty and periods are briefly covered in Year 4 pshe, but year 5 is where it is in full details as to how a baby is made from a scientific point of view.

I teach year 3 and we name body parts I’m using the correct terminology, but no more discussion about sex etc

We discussed the basic mechanics at about 2-3 when the dc asked, with a more in depth conversation about what sex is at around 5. I think you can be led by the child. I don't believe that giving factual information has any negative effect on a child.

In terms of what i said, as i recall i initially say that a women's egg and a man's seed meet together inside the mummy to make a baby, which grows in the mummy's womb until it is ready to come out.

It took a couple of years until the dc asked how the seed and egg got together and I said that the daddy puts his penis into the mommy's vagina when they have sex and the seed/sperm comes out to find the egg. We did talk about sex being something that adults do, and also that gay couples can have babies with doctor's help etc.