Guilt after abortion

[Bromleymum4]

I have two lovely DC age 8 and 1. Fell pregnant unexpectedly and had a termination at 6 weeks in early November. Another baby would have broken us, emotionally and financially but I just feel so sad, guilty and keep thinking what if. At the time it didnt feel like a particularly hard decision but the past few days I havent been able to stop thinking about it. I feel stretched to my limit with the two I have and I know I couldnt have been a good mum to three but tonight I feel very low. Anyone been in a similar situation?

Please know you made the best decision for you and your family at the time.

January and start of the year make people reflect/ reevaluate 2019

Make peace with the past and overcome the feeling

I am so sorry for what you are going through.

I had a termination on the 20th of december and i was 12wks. I do feel some sadness about what could of been etc but i mostly feel overwhelming relief that i made the right decision for me and also for my 4yo ds as he was a big factor in my decision that and i didnt want to be a single mum to 2. Sending you big hugs, you will be okay xx

Sending you big hugs OP

You are all so kind thank you, these have made me tear up. Apart from DH no one in RL knows. I feel like its eating away at me. I just wish I was someone who could have coped with another DC i know plenty do ,but I really dont think I would have done.

Macaroni hope you are doing ok too

I had a termination 8 years ago and I still think "what if?" And If I could of made it work but at the time I had two young kids, a step child and my youngest was was less then a year old, in a bad relationship that thankfully now improved and not much money so it was a sensible decision but 8years later I still think what if. I was told it was a sensible decision not wrong and I try to keep that in mind

I was in exactly the same situation this time last year. Pregnant when my second was only 9 months. I just knew it I couldn’t do it. Being a mother to three would have broken me completely and no doubt ended my marriage through the stress of parenting another. I would of had 3 under 4. Was the hardest thing I’ve ever done

I felt awful for the first few months with guilt, but not regret. Just really sad that I had to make that choice and guilt for the baby that almost was. I still get sad and shed tears, but only every now and then and I’ve stopped thinking about it everyday. And ultimately I’m so glad I made that choice as I know I had to prioritise the children I already had. I have no doubt they would have suffered if I’d of had another. As the new baby would have.

Sending you hugs at this hard time. It does get better. Just look at your children and remind yourself that ultimately they are the ones to benefit as you are there for them and not an emotionally broken mother to three.

OP, I think it's ok to be a little sad that your circumstances weren't different.
You made the best decision you could at the time, for your family and yourself.
That's all anyone can do.

I have enormous admiration for women who realise that they need to protect and mind what they have. It's really brave.

Wishing all the very best. Be kind to yourself, always.
💐

How you feel is not unusual, Bromleymum. It's still very early days too. In time you'll be able to accommodate what happened, you did what you felt was right at the time and from what you've said, it was the right decision.

My baby would now be 18. I do sometimes think "what if?", feel the guilt and wonder what karma awaits me. Then I remember I was a scared 21 who had been raped. You make your decisions on what information at the time and what you feel, what you can take on and what will break you. You did what was right then, if you didn't have these moments of self doubt then you would be human. Know you'll feel like this some days and remember why you did it x