Food snobs

[AlaskaElfForGin]

We've just returned from a couple of days away and stayed with a friend of DHs and her new husband. Very nice people and had a lovely time.

BUT. He is the most dreadful food snob and insists that the 'right' way of cooking is the only way. As an example, we had taken some steaks from the local farm shop down and some nice wine etc. He cooked the steaks on New Year's day and as he started DH said 'Oh Alaska and I like ours medium please'. We were told with a pitiful look that 'there's only one way I'll be cooking these steaks and that's the right way'. All very jolly and we laughed etc., bit he was dead serious. I didn't eat mine, nor did DH. I don't want a rare/blue steak thank you and he point blank refused to stick them back on the griddle which he had stuck in the sink to stop us doing it ourselves. 😂 'Just eat it - it's the right way to eat steak'.

There were many, many similar examples over the stay. Poached eggs which were so underdone the white was still jelly like and cold). I wanted to make my own perfectly normal runny poached eggs but he was very possessive of their kitchen! Who says everyone should eat things the same way??

Have you experienced any similar nonsense?

That sounds more like someone who can't cook properly but thinks they can rather than a food snob to me.

I like my steak medium rare, I couldn't care less how someone else eats theirs.
I wouldn't eat a poached egg that's cold and raw whites either

A food snob or prescriptivist might have sneered at your preference for medium steak, but frankly, only a loon would actually refuse to cook them the way you wanted and actually put the griddle in the sink so you couldn’t wrestle it out of his hands and cook your meat further.

How can he be a ‘very nice person’?

Wow, that’s not food snobbery, that’s just plain rude. And patronising.

My ex was a dreadful food snob. He couldn’t grasp that after a full day at work plus school run and helping with homework, I was much more interested in sausages and mash than the latest masterchef recipe.

I’m not a domestic goddess either

@FeigningHorror I know, it sounds like he's a right arsehole! He was actually really lovely in every other way but was so bizarre when it came to cooking and the kitchen in general! I think he thought he was educating us. 😂

I'd have stuck mine in a frying pan. And told him he was being a control freak tbh.

I like nice food and prefer my steak rare. Dh likes his medium rare. We both manage to cook each other steaks to the other ones preference. I am a bit snobby about food sometimes but only that I prefer to cook than used processed stuff like jarred sauces and ready meals. But needs must and sometimes you need to.

But he was very, very rude

Really rude! He doesn't sound a great host op.
Someone once made DD a very runny egg when she was young (despite me politely requesting the opposite) she took one look at it and asked why it was 'snotty'

I agree that you should get your food how you want it, but I used to eat steak well done; then we went to a restaurant once and the chef nearly cried, So I agreed to medium, (with the proviso he'd re-cook it if I didn't like it) and what a revelation! Cooked right through (no blood) but really juicy. I've had them that way ever since. Thanks chef!

My ILs are a bit like this. They are lovely people- they are just so convinced of their right-ness that they genuinely think they are being nice in taking pains to do things in a particular way. The fact that you might prefer another way for whatever reason doesn’t shake their conviction.

It is rather egotistical, I find. But it is such an effort to change their way of thinking that most of the time we don’t bother and let them get on with it.

I prefer to cook than used processed stuff like jarred sauces and ready meals. But needs must and sometimes you need to.

Me too, I don't see that as food snobbery, just a preference to the way I cook (I love to cook). I often wonder who decided on these 'rules' about how food should be cooked and eaten IYKWIM?

If he's going to be rude, be rude back. I won't eat things not done the way I like them, they just go straight in the bin. Why should I put myself through the disgust of eating something I hate just to save someone's feelings?

Next time take food with you and eat that instead. If he gets offended, just say 'I like my food cooked thanks'.

Oh I had a friend who was like this; once ripped another of our pals to shreds for not making their own mincemeat for mince pies one Xmas. Having two fussy kids soon knocked that out of her.
There were a number of these food snobs at uni; middle class tossers all. Weirdly, many of them had little to no sense of smell. Perhaps that's why they did it.

I'm guilty as charged but I would overcook the steaks if you asked, I basically eat mine raw

heh, I like steak well done, verging on burnt, so he'd have lost his mind with me!

PM me his details and I'll pop over there for dinner!

@daydreambeleiver that's the thing though, I don't mind how other people eat theirs at all! The steak is just an example - I suppose I'm wondering about who decides what's 'right' or not when it comes to how food is cooked.

Why didn't you stand up to him?? I can't fathom 2 adults sitting and not eating their steak instead of saying "I'm cooking mine off a little more" and just doing it?
He sounds dreadful but if you'd stood up to him the first time maybe he wouldn't have kept doing it? Did his wife say anything? I'd be mortified if my DH acted that way!

@velocitygirl7 you made me chuckle because underdone eggs are known in our household as "snotty eggs"

I too can't understand why you just sat there OP, I'd have walked into the kitchen, wiped out the griddle or found another pan and recooked my steak - what was he going to do, wrestle you to the ground??

If that had failed I'd have ordered a takeaway delivered for me and DH.

A lovely person would put his guests needs above his own preference (guests who had bought the bloody stuff in the first place!) I would worry what he is like behind closed doors tbh.

He is not lovely he is controlling prat

I can't bare steak wankers.

I've tried steak rare and I don't like it. I'm not 'scared' or ignorant, I just don't like the taste or texture. To me, it's much nicer medium, or even well depending on the cut.

They are up there with the people who won't eat certain foods or recipes because they aren't fashionable anymore.

They are like teenagers trying to show off because they like the 'right' bands, not the pop crap that you listen to. Embarrassing.

A lovely person would put his guests needs above his own preference

Quite. And somebody who cares about food and wants to cook well would surely want their guests to enjoy what they've cooked for them.

He doesn't sound like someone who knows about food, just someone who thinks that parroting the views of an "expert" make him sound like someone who does.

In terms of exams, he might pass the theory but would fail the practical

They are like teenagers trying to show off because they like the 'right' bands, not the pop crap that you listen to

That expresses what I wanted to say much better than I actually managed.

Damn you, Multigloves, you wordsmith, you!

My DH’s family are like this. There are staged screams of horror and ashen looks if I ask for a medium steak.

I just smile and say that’s how I like it, and repeat. I quite like ordering steak when we’re out just to sit back and enjoy the performance.

Why would you sit there and not eat it?

Nothing stopping you putting it back on the heat and cooking it the way you like it.

I can't believe anyone would sit back and let this happen.

I’m a rare steak eater (well I am when not pregnant anyway ) as is DH, and we do inwardly cringe when MIL asks for her expensive steak cooked to a crisp. Ditto eggs - nothing worse than overdone. But it’s the height of rudeness to not cook to your guests’ wishes on this sort of thing. Entirely unreasonable from him.

Empathise and sympathise. I'm all for people eating their food cooked and arranged the way they like.

I cannot stand fish at all in any way. I was in a situation once where a friend was cooking, fully knowing the fish thing, and I was served a tuna steak - and it was that weird seared but still raw in the middle! According to my friend I was just being silly and tuna steak is the same as chicken and I just needed to try it and I would love it! 🤮