Ability to find stuff - inherent or learned?

[Echobelly]

Are you any good at finding 'lost' things?

I am the lone 'finder' in a household of people who cannot find a damn thing if it's been moved 2cm from where it was before, or who can't remember in the slightest where they saw it last, drives me spare sometimes.

I'm trying to think of some way I can teach the kids to actually find things (DH is way beyond help - just looks vaguely in the direction the thing was last seen and yells that the cleaner's hidden it, when moving a book 2 inches would reveal the thing's on the same surface he left it).

I think I just have a fairly good memory of where I've noticed things, and I try to do things like only having one or two spots to pile up pieces of paper/magazines so that most such things will turn up on a search of those.

No idea. I have an almost unblemished finding things record. Like a sniffer dog. DD is a toddler and already incredible. I regularly text my friend though that I think DH has some kind of finding-things dyslexia. He can’t do it. Absolutely sends me a bit spare sometimes. If I need his help to find something I groan inside and put it off for as long as possible.

In our house we have a 'mummy look' and a 'daddy look'.
One ends up with the item found and the other doesnt.

I am Finder-in-Chief in our house. I am the lone female in a house full of men. I have no idea whether or not that is relevant.

IMO domestic blindness is learned behaviour, based in laziness. If you keep on being the "finder" in your household, then where's the incentive for them to learn?
My DH knows not to ask me to help him find anything unless he's actually looked properly.
The children get asked to "show mummy or daddy where you looked".
Having a place for things really does help, as even tiny children can learn to put their coat on a hook and their shoes underneath for example.

We use manlooking (usually fails) and womanlooking (do you need to ask) in this house.

It's not lost until Mum can't find it

Quoth DS.

Most of it is down to being organised and having a place for everything and everything in its place. DP definitely thinks looking for something involves going into the room you think it's in and, if it doesn't jump out and slap you in the face immediately, you can't find it.

I too am the only finder in a houseful of men

I agree with wowfudge: you’re either a ‘putter’ or a ‘leaver’. If you put things where they go, they’re easy to find; if you leave them somewhere, they’re not.

I have a good memory. I put most stuff away - so i do about 80% of my looking by closing my eyes and remembering and thinking logically. (i find it much harder to find things someone else has put away) Then the remaining 20% is actually picking things up and looking under them, or moving things to the side.

Only anecdotal not scientific but I think there's an element of whether you are a visual/kinestetic person or auditory.
Dd2 is only 5 has an inherent ability to find things. Has been brilliant at home & nursery from being tiny. I think she has to be more visual because she is moderately deaf
Dd1 is 8 and could be holding something and still not know where it is but has a brilliant memory for things she's told/heard.
I'm ok if things are where I last had them & can methodically sort through things but not as good as dd2.

My kids call me The Oracle because I'm like the all-seeing-eye, nothing escapes me. My brain appears to catalogue everything in every corner of the house at all times. Everyone else is useless, no matter how much you try to teach them

Another Finder here. DH and both DSs are absolutely useless.

I regularly berate my sons (9 and 7) for carrying out a 'man search' (i.e. a quick glance around without opening /moving/rearranging stuff). They then berate me for being sexist!

Agreed, teaching that there's value in being organised and putting things where they go is important even if it seems like more effort at the time. I look at in terms of time saving and stress saving in the long-run. At least that's how I'm trying to sell if to DP after reaching breaking point of him complaining about never being able to find things that are usually right in front of him or in a (to me) perfectly logical place.

Being good at finding things is largely about not giving up until you find the thing.
Rather than asking someone else straightaway.
I try not to help my family search for things these days and just vaguely say 'I don't know'- it's good for them.

DH has just come upstairs and said "Where is that angle grinder we borrowed? I cannot see it anywhere."

Me: It's on the kitchen table.

DH: Whereabouts?

Me: in the middle.

We have a small house, a small kitchen and a small kitchen table. It's an angle grinder. FFS.

On the other hand, I was sent out the other day to find a single piece of Lego that DS had dropped on his way to school and I found it. I kind of knew I would.

Interestingly I can't find anything online for 'how to teach your kids to find stuff'... I've realised it's not so much the finding as the noticing.

If I notice DH's wallet by the toaster, I remember it's there, in fact perhaps I tend to notice things like his wallet, keys or phone specifically because I know he'll not remember they're there!

Maybe it's a matter of teaching the kids to notice stuff - is an object out of place? Remember it's there or move it back to where it should be.

Also - look behind things, under things, between things, for the love of god, don't just vaguely shift them about without really looking at them!

I need to set up a 'finding things' course, I'll make my fortune!

Bit of both imo.

I have adhd so generally I manage by having exact places for things. Eg dp and dc can leave their keys in any number of usual places in the house, eg by door, table, bag, bedroom, various pockets etc and still quickly find them. If I don't put mine in their one place I'd struggle to find them. It's something I've learnt.

On the other hand, because I spend my life paying attention to things I don't need to, and have a good memory for what's going on around me, I can often find things others can't. Eg friends dc lost something, several weeks later when she mentioned it with a few minutes thinking I told her where it could be based on something she said to dc on the phone the day he lost it. Just a shame that skill doesn't spill over when I'm the one that's lost something.