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Improving my mental wellbeing

4 replies

JourneyToHappiness · 01/01/2020 16:48

This is a bit long so apologies.
I’ve struggled with depression since my first child was born 17 years ago. I’ve been very up and down over the years and also struggle with anxiety. The father of my youngest 2 children was verbally and emotionally abusive and cheated on me numerous times. I finally threw him out 5 years ago and haven’t seen him since. I feel like part of me died with that relationship, I’ve not been the same since. I struggle with closeness, become a negative person, have no confidence or self asteem and comfort eat.
I’ve had 2 lots of therapy and towards the end of my sessions this year I decided to start small and lost 2 stone. Things started looking up and I felt a little better in myself. Then 3 weeks ago my little sister took her own life. She had also struggled with her mental health and we understood each other, but as I was starting improve a little she didn’t want to talk to me about how she was feeling as she didn’t want to bring me down. I feel heartbroken and like I failed her. My anxiety has shot back up, I feel massive guilt, can’t sleep and feel worse than ever. This needs to change. My dad has enough to deal with now without worrying about me too, plus my mood affects how I am as a mum/person.

So I plan on going to the drs Monday and also referring myself for more therapy. I might look into support groups also but need to get a hold of my anxiety first. Before my sisters death I had planned to join a gym and start C25K which I need to stick to as I know it’s good for mental wellbeing.
What else can I do to improve my mental health and be more positive and happy? I know it will take time and I need to grieve properly first but I need to start small sooner rather than later.
There’s so much I want to change about my life but this thread is long enough as it is.

OP posts:
Newyearnewme2020 · 01/01/2020 17:47

I'm so sorry you've been through such a tough time and I'm sorry for your loss.

I have PND and can't speak to my family about it as they have other issues themselves, so MN is usually my place to come and talk and get things off my chest. Tbh the chats on MN suit me better as I don't feel as much pressure/anxiety as I would if I was chatting to people IRL.

There are plenty of threads here for the new year like the C25K, run/walk a mile a day, healthy eating etc that you might like to join for people who are aiming for the same things as you are.

I think all the things you have mentioned in the thread that you plan to do will help your mental well-being enormously.

Rollonspringtime2020 · 01/01/2020 17:54

Only yesterday I read that owning a pet as a dc can have a positive affect on future mh issues. Ime having a pet can massively improve well being. In fact my teen ds who has undergone anger management and an adult ds (who has a difficult mh diagnosis) certainly agree things improve after spending time with our ddogs. If you can't own op maybe volunteering with an animal charity may help in some way.
Flowers

JourneyToHappiness · 01/01/2020 18:56

Thank you @Newyearnewme2020. I’ve always been more of a lurker on here but I do feel more relaxed chatting online or texting people rather than in person.
I’ve lurked on some on the Weight loss threads, just need the motivation to join in and keep at it. I’ve not tried exercise threads yet, I imagined them to be full of people who have been at it for ages and not total beginners like me but will definitely take a look.

My 2 older children would love a dog @Rollonspringtime2020 but unfortunately my youngest is terrified of them. Hopefully as he gets older he will be better with them. He’s also scared of cats 😔 good idea about the volunteering though, will see how far my nearest centre is.

OP posts:
Rollonspringtime2020 · 01/01/2020 19:22

When my dd was terrified of ddogs we got a dpuppy...
A Rottweiler! Cured her phobia very quickly!!

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