Ghosted by another mum and feel down

[anothernamejeeves]

My son has made a friend at school who he adores. I believe his friend feels the same. We arranged a play date for yesterday I left it with mum to get back to me regarding what time etc. Nothing. I have messaged and asked if all was okay and still nothing. My son is jumping up and down asking to see his friend I feel awful for him and feel shit to be ghosted by this parent

Unless there’s some major backstory, you are being insanely melodramatic. Someone flaked out on a tentatively arranged play date at an insanely busy and socially weird time of year. There could be any number of perfectly good reasons.

Honestly? I’d pause before assuming that you’ve been ghosted. NYE is a busy time, she may just have forgotten and not have checked her phone.

If you don’t know the mum well, I’d probably be casual and breezy. Anything intense is likely to put her off a bit.

Even if the children don’t meet up outside of school, they can still have fun together while at school.

That's rude of her. But going forward, don't get too close to school mums or at least don't expect too much of them. Its a bloody mine field! And don't tell your son about play dates until they are actually on the way.

Sorry but you are overthinking this. A tentatively arranged play date is not something to get worked up about. Yesterday was NYE. No doubt Mum was busy.

It's all well and good saying that but when your child is so excited as the mum said when you last saw her and her child that it would be happening and then they are let down it's upsetting

Text her again, saying how you may have sent the message to the wrong number. Offer an alternative date. If it happens again forget it. Once could easily be a mistake.

It's all well and good saying that but when your child is so excited as the mum said when you last saw her and her child that it would be happening and then they are let down it's upsetting

So here’s a fantastic opportunity then to model resilience for your child and be casual and breezy about it so he learns from you. And the way to do it is to be a bit resilient yourself.

Text her again, saying how you may have sent the message to the wrong number.

This would make me feel harangued and put off and I’d hold back. And honestly “ghosting” applies to a pre existing relationship or a developing one of sorts. To be so dramatic about it isn’t good for you, for your son or for the budding friendship of the little things

It’s your job to manage your DS’s expectations and encourage resilience.

Just brush it off and move on - as @FeigningHorror said it was a tentative arrangement and it’s a socially weird time of year

It was new years eve, there may have been more going in than thinking about a childrens play date. How old are the children involved?

It's your job to manage your childs expectations. This sounds like the opposite of the thread running at the moment where the child is demanding to go to the OPs house to play the piano!

Op it's not nice to be ignored. What you can can control is how you react to it. Assume the worst or plan a lovely day out regardless.

@FeigningHorror and @Thoughtlessinengland have it nailed.

Just relax. Don't send another message. Do something else with your son to distract him. I hate playdates at the best of times let alone on New Year's Day!

Honestly so many people I know are really ill with the flu at the moment - I really wouldn’t fret about it so much, it’s annoying I know but unless she is repeatedly flaky in the future then probably a one off.

I wouldn't say you've been ghosted but I think she's bloody rude. Personally unless there's a good reason I wouldn't bother again.

How odd.... there was a thread identical to this about two girls and their friendship....but from the "ghost" friend perspective

They could just be unwell

They’ve probably decided to do something else/go away.. I’m rubbish about checking my phone if I’m busy.

NYE is a strange choice for a kids play date. I ended up with more guests than I thought as DS mate wanted to bring a mate and other stuff. It’s a busy night for many. I forgot to check my phone last night as busy. Could also be illness.