Totally sick of the volume of xmas kids tat/crap gifts - ideas please on minimising / changing

[magicmallow]

Hello all, I have one DS(7) who is spoiled rotten by family (only grandchild) and caught up in the midst of family tradition ie buying a huge amount of Xmas and birthday (not long before Xmas) gifts, most of which end up in piles of junk in his bedroom.

Being a child he is naturally attached to his items and won't get rid of much (it becomes a covert mission over a number of months).

It eats into our family time as I am constantly wading through junk trying to clear up / tidy up etc.

It just seems utterly pointless to me and highly frustrating that in order to comply with tradition we feel the need to smother our kids with pointless gifts that don't get played with, used and clutter our lives.

Not to mention the environmental impact of all of this, which drives me equally potty.

If I were to suggest downscaling to my parents (his grandparents) I would probably be met with disdain, and them buying more to make up for me buying less.

But I feel helpless in the face of it, sad about the wasted money, the impact on my own time and relationship with my child as I am constantly wading through it all, sorting etc, sad that the things don't get played with, it feels like misdirected gluttony disguised as caring.

I really don't mean to be a scrooge. I don't want to deny my son a great Xmas. But something has to change, on a societal level, and an individual level. I have no idea how to broach this with him, family, etc.

Does anyone have good tips on
a) minimising pointless gift buying from family
b) not getting suckered into guilt buying extra pointless stocking fillers (I too am guilty)
c) explaining the impact to my son, to help him become less consumerist
d) dealing with the fallout from relatives when we explain we don't want a consumerist xmas?

I do a lot of gift buying in charity shops but there's only so far you can go with this, and it still seems pointless buying stuff that rarely or never gets used for the sake of having a few extra things to open on Xmas day.

I feel we need a paradigm shift. It's crazy.

Does anyone else feel this way and have tips or ideas? thank you!

Ask for vouchers/gift experiences/annual passes. Less physical stuff to keep hold of. The best money we spent last year was on an annual pass to our local wildlife park (rescue centre). It cost about £20 each time we visited. I think the annual pass was worth it if we went three times, we’ve already been five and it doesn’t run out til Easter!

I always buy vouchers or something like theatre tickets (having confirmed details with the person beforehand) for friends with children. My sister lives in a very small house and is overwhelmed by stuff bought for her daughter over the last couple of years.

She now makes a point of asking for nothing, or if people insist, vouchers or tickets. She says people are generally respectful of this.

What about getting him into less toy ranges, but more expensive ones?

Ie telling your family that he is into Lego technic and doesn't want the cheaper blocks because they aren't compatible. It's better to have a small set of something he is into than many large sets that makes up the same cost of things that he isn't into.

I tend to buy toiletries as a stocking filler. (Dd loves getting bath bombs and stuff)

We ask for vouchers and experiences. Theatre trips and annual I, too got heartily sick of the sheer volume of tat.

I’ve just realised we also do what KP0 suggested.

We ask for Lego sets. Lego is Great on all levels. You can never have too much, duplicates aren’t a problem and it has a reasonable resale value.

I also feel trapped by what we've set up for our kids OP.

The conversation around the environmental impact of plastic just wasn't as dominant when ours were born so we used to go big for Christmas and we also have large, generous families.

At seven your child might be old enough to start shifting towards experiences especially if you set it up throughout the year.

Is there something expensive they really want to try like sailing, climbing, learning an instrument, horse riding?

It really hard with the families. Tbh I'd let them crack on for the next couple of years.
You could box up stuff and rotate toys to make it easier for DC to part with them.

Tell them and make alternative suggestions. You can start by educating your child about the environment etc through the year and include this when discussing the Christmas list with your child so that they understand and buy into it. Show him the measures you are taking to reduce consumption and waste in your owen life so that he understands its a joint effort.

What about more useful stuff, like new bedding? Or comfy chair for his room? Cool lamp etc?
My DS7 wanted new wallpaper and a bedside table and lamp for Xmas. His own one is still the baby stuff he had.

At seven, children can start to understand what tat is. Take them to home bargains just to look at the stuff and think about what is and isn't tat. Children can change quite a lot with their outlook on ‘stuff’ around this age, so keep taking them places like the tip to see waste.

Wrt xmas, go abroad for xmas, and ask for small presents so you aren’t carrying extra stuff

We are in a similar position with DD. She will be PILs' only grandchild, is the only female child on their side of the family at all (lots of 2nd cousins; all boys). She is 7, we live far enough from extended family that visits are 1 or 2 times a year at most. We don't have a car, & don't live very near any attractions, so season tickets aren't really viable. The twice-yearly deluge of plastic crap, plus the constant trickle from PILs, has caused arguments & a reduction in how much we see them as they simply can't stop buying! Her bedroom is a travesty, far too much to actually store, she has literally hundreds of books (we're poor & only have a small house). We can't store it all. DH grew up with the mindset that getting rid of gifts is ungrateful, it's hard to get him to realise that what they are giving her/us is an obligation to store stuff, & less room to live in.

One year I bought my dd a diary and inside i put tickets, vouchers and experiences. Some were small things like a milkshake voucher and others were bigger like cinema vouchers or tickets to see something. Could you suggest this to the family? It might be interesting to see how creative they can be with it.

Educate the grandparents about experiences too. If they could buy swimming lessons or horse riding, guitar or dance, whatever dc has a notion for, then that would be great. Perhaps a few small gifts instead of tonnes of crap. Perhaps tell them early what he wants too so they get something that he wants instead of stockpiling random junk at home ready to give him come birthday/Christmas.

If they like bringing joy to children you could encourage them to do one of the many shoebox appeals for charity so children who have nothing get presents at Christmas. Includes (how sad is this) soap, toothbrush, book, toy, sweet. Imagine needing ordinary boring soap for Christmas. So sad.

GPs could be encouraged to do that as a family event that you could all buy a few bits for and you could take dc over and all pack and wrap your the shoeboxes together. Would teach dc about how lucky he is and others have nowt, GPs would enjoy the giving and spending time with gs wrapping together, and it helps others.

Yep I totally sympathise. I have one ds with his birthday being 23rd December! He’s 11 now and we’ve had 11 years of being overwhelmed with presents for him. My dh is one of the biggest culprits unfortunately.
What I will say is that as they get older you can buy more experiences, and techy stuff tends to be smaller and takes up less space than toys.
Family and friends still buy him stuff that often never gets touched though. I will be making a few trips to the charity shops over the next week or so.
It does stress me out.