Do you structure your free time?

[wejammin]

I'm just emerging from the fog of having my third child, he's now a toddler and my older DC are 5 and 7.

I'm finding myself with pockets of time in the evening and during nap time. I work 4 days per week and have 1 day off with DC3.

In the olden days before DC, I had a load of hobbies and interests, particularly growing veg, yoga, knitting, reading, baking.

Nowadays, once the kids are in bed and I've done the clearing up and housework, I slump in front of the TV with DH and my phone for an hour or so before going to bed and it feels like a waste, but I can't decide what to do or have no motivation to get up.

At work I am super structured, I have a pretty stressful job (yes I know everyone says that!) and to keep on top of everything I divide each day into hourly slots for various tasks, subject to interruptions and meetings etc. I'm wondering if I need to do the same at home but equally concerned I will set myself up to fail or suck the joy out of "leisure" (my psychotherapist says I have high achievers syndrome and I get a bit depressed if I 'fail').

So just wondering how you structure your free time so you don't waste it mindlessly?

Yes and no, I still fritter to some extent, but I fit in three classes a week (dance/yoga), I crochet, read, have an allotment. Work 3.5 days, with teenage DCs. I don't watch much TV but do spend too much time on MN.

I crochet for Woolly Hugs which structures me to some extent as I am working on agreed projects in agreed timelines. I take it to all sorts of places when I am ferrying the DCs around.

Very very much so.

I am meticulously organised and this applies to work, home and downtime. It makes me happy to feel in control and I like to know what I’m doing and when. In all aspects of my life

@lovemenorca what's your system?

No system as such. I suppose it’s innate really.

I plan my working day - what I am going to have achieved by the end of the day. I do love a list and ticking as I go.

So for downtime today, I made a plan the evening before...
I went for an early run
Home for coffee and paper,
Did children’s breakfast
shower and dressed,
out for a long walk
children can play / tv whilst I do lunch,
lunch,
watch a film together
quick walk to local park for last blast of fresh air (and I know I need to pick up some milk so will swing by Sainsburys)
Children do whatever but no screen whilst I prepare dinner
Dinner
Bit of tv and board game
They get ready for bed and read whilst I clean kitchen and vacuum
Children to bed, me flop on sofa and watch This Is US! In bed around 9.30

Tomorrow
Same morning pattern but meeting friend and her children for a walk.

After lunch I’m taking children to local climbing centre
Then same evening routine

May not appeal or be exciting to most - but works for me as a single parent and we are happy

I incorporate a bit of mumsnet/ mindless internet surfing as and when I can!

I’m same with housework - each day set tasks and even big clean one morning mid week

I know just what you mean.
I get lots of pockets of time, but I don't know when they will be or when they will be interrupted!
It makes some hobbies tricky.
Can you go to a club/ class?
Something that can be picked up quickly is good- like a craft, but not one that needs lots of stuff getting out each time.

I run nearly every day which take up my evenings till 7/8ish
Cool, try and clean for half an hour and read for half an hour
I’m hopeless at switching off it actually makes me anxious

There was a review in the Guardian recently of a book by a productivity guru, his main recommendation was to schedule / plan every single minute of your day down to 10 minute blocks!! A bit like @lovemenorca seems to do. I’m tempted to try.

Absolutely not. I have to put up with quite enough ‘structure’ while I’m at work, so when I’m not I like to chill out and go with the flow.

It’s not for everyone
But if you are naturally quite “uptight” then it works very well. I just simply do not feel happy unless I have a plan, my home is organised and clutter free, and I have a plan for the day with my children.

It also means that come the evening... when I do flake for an hour it nor so in front of the TV - I relish it!

Plus - and I don’t know whether a coincidence, but I feel asleep in nanoseconds and i wonder whether it is because my life is so full?

I also think being a single parent has something to do with it. I’m queen of my domain so that does allow me to be structured more so than if living with another adult

Ish.

At the start of the week, I look at when I will have spare time, and think about what I want to do that week in terms of exercise and study (insert hobbies here) and where it would fit best.

I don't make a plan for every bit of spare time though - I think it's important sometimes to just slob in front of the telly!

You lot make me feel so lazy.
I think you have to try to be a bit structured with kids I think they like to know what’s going on actually.
I’m organised at home and at work when I was working full time. But leisure time used to be cleaning and cooking and eating and sleeping.
Now with more leisure time it’s so easy not to do anything that I find I need to plan to do something even if it’s only a turn round the park.

No. It's called free time for a reason 😁

Thanks @lovemenorca, you sound like you have it all figured out! I would also love my home to be decluttered and clean but it definitely isn't.

@grafittiartist I'm not sure I can commit to a club or class, I often have urgent work to do in the evening or inevitably one of the kids is sick or needs collection from somewhere.

@fairydustandpixies I get that but it feels wasted at the moment which makes me a bit miserable.