Can motherhood make you stupid?

[Whatswrongwithyourbrain]

I went to NYE gathering without DC yesterday. Most conversations I had were awkward as I was trying to think of something intelligent to say. I avoid talking in case I say something stupid, I don't want to say the wrong thing.

I'm thick, a complete bimbo. I have no opinion on politics- I'm confused in fact, I don't trust what I read in news.

General knowledge? Don't know as much as I used to.

I can make a conversation flow on to something else, theres always an awkward silence at the end. I make people uncomfortable.

I can only really have a lively conversation with someone if it's about my DC, like schools I'm applying to or the tantrum they had the night before. Other conversations I find hard to follow.

All I do really from day to day is cook, clean, shout, read, play make believe. All I have is mumsnet and YouTube, they keep my "alive" I guess.

I'm 27 and feel like this shouldn't be my life. I've lost myself and in some ways feel like a child myself, I even sound young for my age or maybe my voice lacks authority .

I can't even wrote well anymore.

I seriously hate being a mother 24/7. I wish I had friends to hang out with in the evening and have an adult conversation with. Grow my mind a little bit. My partner is always at the neighbour's house for a drink after work every evening or goes to see his friends on the weekend, so I feel I'm doing this all alone.

I won't apologise for typos, you get the picture.

I can't even wrote well anymore

Sorry that made me laugh!

New year new you!

Look at local college coarses find something that takes your fancy and get DH to have the kids once a week: start arranging friends to come over or go out even to the pictures

Nobody is going to do it for you.

I know, I think about going out with people or inviting people around (to my pig stye) but I'm nervous around people.

If you can't get a job yet, do some college courses to add to your knowledge base and CV. I did gcse Law, information technology etc, and really enjoyed talking sense to other adults.

When I was a stay at home mum for four years I did gradually feel my brain wasting away. People stopped expecting me up to brainy (family, friends etc). I felt I'd lost my sharpness, and I was genuinely terrified about returning to work. I managed to get a job teaching, only 4 hours a week, and I have very quickly sharpened up, it very quickly has come back and I am enjoying it so much. I'm teaching a subject I've never done before and it's genuinely challenging for me.
I would definitely suggest as a PP has above, find a college course or something you can really enjoy and be stretched by. Chats with friends are nice, but they're all in the same boat!

Thank you for your replies.

I guess I'm just feeling resentful and a bit sorry for myself.

I want to do something with statistics but won't know where to start. Maybe theres an online course I could do and then an apprenticeship.

No, motherhood doesn’t make you stupid. However, you sound lonely, bored, frustrated, and as though you have low self-esteem. All those are things you can do something about. If you hate your life, change it. Good luck!

I work in a challenging job that needs me to be very switched on and aware of current events but I also struggle to hold decent conversations about anything other than my kids.

I feel at this point in my life they are generally all I think about...are the well? do they have friends at nursery/school? are they having too much screen time? will they enjoy the holiday we've planned? do they need new shoes?

It's endless.

Don't be so down on yourself OP.

Motherhood doesn't make you stupid, but being stuck in a house where you can't have an intelligent conversation with someone and you don't get to go out and experience things or read about things really does narrow down the range of topics you can talk about.

It's the same reason why the elderly who become isolated can end up repeating the same story over and over or struggle to go out and make new friends because they just don't know what to talk about.

I think the tiredness makes me stupid.

Work, stress and lack of sleep has fried my brain. I'm still trying to read a book after four years.

I have two teenagers and a full time job but I come across as stupid and dull. I've slowly but surely become rubbish at holding conversations about anything other than the kids and what they're doing, school, friends, development. My mind drifts if people chat about politics, tv, cinema, their hobbies etc. It began when I had the kids - my mind is mostly occupied with them and so busy I don't know how anyone has time (or interest) in politics, music, tv/films, celeb gossip, anything really. I wasn't like this before. So for me, yes having kids changed me and probably made me dull/stupid.

I'm very happy though, so it doesn't really bother me. You could say that I will struggle when they eventually leave home, but I can't see it myself as I think I'll always find plenty to do to occupy myself (e.g. I love gardening, bird watching, walks, reading).

Yes I think tiredness and the high level of repetitive tasks make your brain slow. I also have a theory that learning new things pushes old things out your head.

Remember all the safe sleeping advice? BING you can't remember where you left your keys.

Learn the names of all the Hey Duggee kids? BING you will no longer the able to recall the names of your friends kids

Learn how to make up formula and sterilize bottles? BING the address of your oldest pal?? Gone.

Learn the words to the wiggles songs? BING you can't remember how normal adults talk to each other!!

This is me.

SAHM to 5 kids under the age of 9. Mind absolute mush. No energy to read a book or follow plots.

I trained in a professional role, gave it up to be at home. Watching my DH be high-profile in newspaper and on TV as part of his job I just feel like a kitchen appliance in the background.

He tells me to to out and reclaim a hobby, or go somewhere regularly and he'll look at the kids. He isn't a crap DH. But I just can't even think what it is I enjoy anymore, or what hobby I'd like to do.

I know that horse riding is fun, Jujitsu is good exercise etc etc, and then I remember that it's my kids who like these things, not me.

Only thing I get to do myself is sleep and dream. FML.