Miscarriage and a New Year

[LizzieGates]

I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks 4 days ago and I thought I was coping ok but today has been the hardest as it’s New Years Eve and I can’t help but think that I’m going into the New Year with nothing to really look forward too. I feel guilty for saying that as I have an almost 3 year old who has got me through this horrendous time more than he will ever know but I feel like I already had the new year mapped out... new baby in July etc.
I feel like I need to do something extravagant like book an all inclusive holiday somewhere or buy something ridiculously expensive because I just don’t give a shit! But then the part of me that does give a shit gets a grip of me and tells me to calm down this is all still raw. I don’t know if I want to try again for another baby, I wonder if it was a sign to focus on myself this year, get me fit an active again. I have everything I want with my son an husband do we really want to change the dynamic. Do I want to live with the guilt of him growing up as an only child? I just don’t know what I want, I don’t know what my husband wants and this is how we are starting off our New Year.

So sorry to hear you have gone through this. There’s lots of us who know what you are going through. Please give yourselves some time to process it all and leave off any big decisions for now.

This was me two years ago, I went to bed early and cried in the new year. It's such a shitty time.

Take it a day at a time and you'll get there - wherever your there may be.

So sorry, I could of wrote this post myself. I miscarried 2 weeks ago, and was 9 weeks pregnant. I too had it all planned out in my head, how we would tell all our family after our scan in the new year and I couldn’t wait to tell my 2 DC.

I don’t have any advice but can really relate to the feelings your going through and just want to say you’re not alone.

Take some time. Don't plan anything as such. I had a mc in March 2018 at 12 weeks. That pregnancy wasn't planned as such (but very much wanted), but like you i'd imagined so much, Christmas and New year with the new baby, introducing them to Dd. We decided not to try again as I just couldn't face getting my hopes up again. We had a holiday. Just take some time to get your head together. Don't put any pressure on yourself.

I was dreading the though of getting pregnant again for so long. Then a contraception failure meant I found myself pregnant just before Christmas 2018. My initial reaction... I was so happy. That's how I knew I was ready. I worried of course but I was quite relaxed considering.

I just found taking the pressure off helped. We weren't TTC, we weren't even thinking about trying. It really helped. For other they find getting pregnant ASAP is what they want and what helps. But be kind to yourself.

Thank you all. It's good to know these thoughts are somewhat normal. Thank you all for sharing.