Is/was your 5 year old dry at night?

[mealychump]

My just turned 5yo DS is still in nappies at night.

During the day he is fine, generally. We potty trained him at 2.5, it was too early but nursery told us he was ready so we went for it. It was a slog but he was reliably trained at just gone 3.

He's never been dry at night. Never ever had a dry nappy in the morning. I understand that a hormone is responsible for supressing urine at night and assume this hasn't kicked in for him yet.

The other night I went upstairs half an hour after putting him to bed. He was still awake but his nappy was wet . I had words with him and told him that wasn't really OK and if he was awake he definitely needed to use the toilet.

In the morning he's never in a rush to take his nappy off. He will if asked but sometimes he will sneak downstairs in the morning to watch TV and won't take it off. I suspect he may have the odd sneaky wee in when he's awake first thing.

Given its the holidays, this week we went without nappies. He was happy to do so. We stopped all drinks 2 hours before bed etc. But he's literally wet by 10pm and we have done several changes of bedding a night. So we have stopped and gone back to the nappies. He's obviously not ready. He also doesn't wake up when he's wet, its us noticing and waking him to
change the bed, not him.

How usual is all of this?

I am surprised he isn't bothered by a big damp, smelly nappy when he wakes up. If your DC is a similar age and in nappies at night, what do they do in the morning? Is it really unusual for him to not be that bothered by needing/wearing a nappy still?

I have some queries as to wether he may have some sensory issues, so half wondering if this is bundled in with that. But I'm just not sure if this is actually fairly typical or not.

DD is 5 and in nappies. She will go to bed and if she is still awake i sometimes found she has pee'd in the nappy. I have told her off for this, if she is awake she should use the toilet. She will wake up and the wet nappy wont bother her, I have to tell her to take it off or she'd happily keep it on

Oh, we also instigated a 'double wee' routine, of a wee during bedtime routine, then having bedtime stories, then a 'final wee' before bed! She always manages to do another wee, even now on days when she claims she doesn't need one!

Please don’t do anything. My twins were dry day and night at around 3. DS2 was dry day at around the same but wet at night until shortly after his 7th birthday. In hindsight we are so happy that we didn’t make a big deal about it. It just stopped one day. We were worried but it just happened later for him.

None of mine were dry in the night at 5 (although youngest is 5.5 now so there is still time). Dc2 was dry at 6, Dc3 was dry at 8. 13 year old, 6 year old and 5 year old not dry at night yet

Yes we do the double wee!! Doesn't seem to help, which is why I'm assuming the hormone hasn't kicked in.

I have read about the link to constipation and daytime fluid intake. He probably doesn't drink enough in the day, it's a real struggle to get him drinking if it's not a meal time. I'm not a huge drinker though so I might be genetic.

Constipation wise he's a good eater, poos with ease, generally very regular. He has periods of 'loose' bowel movements which have sometimes made me wonder if he's constipated, but then subsequent poos suggest (without going into too much detail) there is no way he could be 'blocked up!'

Ds2 wasn't out of night nappies u til just after his 6yh birthday a year ago. I waited til we had a week of dry pull-ups.

He was fine until the end of the summer term. Being out of routine threw him completely and after a few consecutive wet nights where he was trying to clean himself up and strip his bed at 3am without waking us, we went back to pull-ups for the holidays. In September back at school he reverted back to dry nights and we've been reliably in pants ever since.

I hope we've got past it now but I would never attempt to force it - that way lies inevitable wet beds, stressed child, stressed parent, humiliation and upset all round.

DD went dry at night after she turned 5. She was desperate to get out of nappies, but I really couldn't face the laundry - she had to have a week of dry nappies before she could stop wearing them. Over about a month she went from regularly filling a nappy to bursting to being reliably dry; I guess she started producing the relevant hormone. She's been dry (bar the odd accident) ever since. I remember her (DD) chatting about it with a friend whose mum was a GP, and she said it wasn't worth going to the doctors until DD was 7; obviously we didn't need to do that.

I've heard it's more common in boys, though ironically, it's girls we know who have the issue!

OP this is almost identical to my DS (5). He comes down for wees at night but has already wet his nappy pants. So I have no idea if he's doing the wees before he goes to sleep, in his sleep, or in the morning when he wakes up (would lay in bed all morning if he could!). We tried him ages ago on no nappies at night and would be soaked in the morning but not wake up.

It was a slog to be reliably dry in the day (took from about 2.5 years to 3.5) so had kind of waited for the 'hormone to kick in' but I'm dubious about whether it's that or just that he feels free to wee in the nappy pants.

There was a thread a while ago with many people saying how the bedwetting alarms had worked for them, most were a bit older about 7, but I'm wondering if it'd help now (or in the spring!)

Zebras that's very helpful, thanks.

Oddly enough we've just suggested he try really hard starting tonight to not wee in the nappy pants. He's been down about 10 times to do little wees and check he's still dry. But then said he'd done a little one.

@WontonsMower yep exactly the same!

I'm just a little bit aware that if he's just quite happy to wee in his nappy anyway we might not know when the hormone has kicked in! Wet nappies in the morning might just be because he couldn't be arsed to go for a wee when he first woke up, or because he weed in it before he went to sleep!

The overnight wetting he obviously can't help and I guess the going cold turkey attempt has show me that he really is weeing in his sleep still.

My DS is now 15 and I think he was about 8 before being dry at night. I literally remember nothing about it. I tell you that because this will pass. He won't be pissing the bed when he leaves home (unless too many beers). Just go with it. I'd love to have my incontinent 5 year old back (although still adorable at 15).

DS potty trained at 2.5 and was dry at night by 3. We did nothing to encourage the night dryness - it just happened. I, on the other hand, struggled with bed wetting well into my teens. We tried all sorts but nothing worked except time. My Dad and younger bro had similar problems, so I was surprised and relieved when DS was dry so naturally.

My daughter she is 3. 4. If I don't wake her up and put her on the potty she doesn't wake up by herself. I am so tired to wake up every 2 hours and I just put a pull up on her now 👏🙈 She is definitely not ready

My son is exactly the same and nearly 7, his sisters are both dry before 3

Mine are 14, 16 and 18. I vaguely recall one was dry at night at 3 and the other two were maybe 6 or 7?

All children are different, very normal ro still.need pull ups at night one of my DC was dry by 5 the other not reliably dry until 8. One DGC needs pull ups at 6 the other is dry at 3. The best thing is to relax and not worry they will get there naturally when their body is ready

My 5 year old DGS is not dry either but I really don't think it's something to worry about. I have 5 grown up children and they all reached this at different points like most milestones.

I revisit this topic every so often - I'm torn between not worrying about it (there's no real downside to staying in nappies other than cost/environmental factor) and then wondering if we could leave the nappies behind once and for all if he 'trained' to wake up and go to the loo when he needed to.

I found my old thread and had posted this:
"I've looked at the Eric website before but actually feel slightly vindicated that one of the leaflets says 'Some parents are wary about taking off nappies/pull ups until the child has some dry nights. But some children will not be dry as long as they are wearing some protection - they go to sleep knowing it doesn't matter if they wee in their sleep and that is just what happens. They are not being lazy - they don't have any control while they are asleep. So be brave! Try without nappies or pull ups for at least a week - longer if you can manage it - before you decide if your child is a bed wetter.'"

My 5yo is dry 95% of the time, but his big brother was a different story! Exactly the same as your DS, wet but didn't care, and would wet throughout the night or early morning and not wake.
You're defo doing the right thing not telling him off for it, shame would only make it worse.

He's now 8.5 and finally dry at night for the last few months.
He was referred to the Enuresis Clinic on his 7th birthday, as our GP was keen to get the ball rolling as soon as was allowed.
First we had to establish his bladder capacity - he had to hold on as long as possible until he was really desperate - then wee in a measuring jug. We did this every day for a week, usually after school, and his capacity at 7.5yo was around 175-210ml, which the enuresis nurse said was half what it should be. They recommended we try to increase his daytime drinking as much as possible. I put marks on his school water bottle, and he tried to finish half the bottle before lunch and finish the rest before pickup. We then upped it to finishing the whole bottle before lunch and another before pickup. Mixed success, but it really did grow his bladder capacity.
He had one full dry week after a few months of this, amazing as he'd only ever had three dry nights ever! Then he relapsed, and was wet every night for a month. Frustrating. We taught him how to strip his bed if it was wet and leave the wet things in the bath, and it seemed to help having some practical 'natural consequences' to deal with after wetting.
We've continued encouraging him to drink more water, and he's finally dry. He may relapse again, but fingers crossed!

My DS is autistic, so does have crossover with sensory issues and proprioception too.
Also, he had toddler diarrhoea, so wasn't toilet trained til 4 as he didn't have solid stools til then.
Avoid fruit juices or anything acidic/sugary that could irritate his bladder. We're lucky that DS1 only really likes water and milk anyway.
Clear apple juice is particularly bad for bowels/bladder apparently.

Good luck - sorry for the essay.

My son stopped wetting at night when he was 9. I took him to the GP at age 7 but she was unconcerned and said it was normal and he would be dry when he was ready. Until age 9 he wet the pull up every single night but then he started having a few dry nights and might only wet one day in 5 - eventually it just went away. We never stressed about what he drank during the day - if he’s thirsty let him drink.

BTW apparently my DH was quite late to be dry at night (as a child), which can be a factor.

Ooh AND - the enuresis nurse said when you do double wees before bed, make sure the last wee is sitting down - apparently they empty their bladder more fully that way.

All DC are different. My youngest started being dry at night first before I started potty training. The nursery were pushing as he had to be out of nappies before 3. Once he started being dry at night we had a week off and worked on the day time.

He probably doesn't drink enough in the day, it's a real struggle to get him drinking if it's not a meal time. I'm not a huge drinker though so I might be genetic.

Same here, it's a real slog but I don't want to give in and let him have juice all the time instead of water (which he would if he could!). Trying to get him to drink a bit more was what seemed to actually help crack daytime dryness. However now he's at school I doubt he drinks much and the only real opportunity I have to get him to drink water is when he comes home/teatime which is getting close to bedtime, so it seems that night time is when he needs to wee the most. Vicious circle!

nottalotta mine is exactly the same! Dry at night within a week or so of potty training when she turned 3. Six months later the bed wetting started. I tried to hold out for a revert back to dryness but put her back in pull ups several weeks later. She hasn’t been dry since, she’s 5. So glad to hear of others in the same boat.

@mealychump interesting as ds is also not much of a drinker and I have to hassle him to drink more.
In our case, we had enough progress to keep going. I only ever aimed at a week though -if nothing changed after a week we were planning on stopping and trying again in a few months.

I thought of something that dc2 said after a phase of bed wetting after six months of bring dry at night. She starting wearing pants under her PJ's as it helps her remember to not wee apparently. Maybe she feels the beginning of wetness quicker??