Christmas drinks and small child musings....

[moodolph]

So first Christmas this has been a thing for me, last Christmas was in new born bubble.

A few neighbours ( we are remote so think miles not doors) have invited dh and I for drinks. Dh has gone to a couple, that's absolutely fine with me, I've stayed home. People then say oh you should have brought little one?

I'm the first to accept Dd sleep is absolutely appalling but I don't really get the etiquette here. She wasn't on invite, drinks at 8pm fills me with fear, that's sort of witching hour, no way I could just put her down? Where!

What do people do if she was an easy baby? She isn't but I'm wondering why people look at me strangely when I say I need to or one of us needs to put her into her actual cot at home?

I understand with a tiny baby, but she's walking crawling destroying stage.

I sort of thought we were at one go one stay stage but maybe I'm wrong?

Just wondered what others do when it's something like this and not like going to close friends or family?

They've forgotten what it's like having a child of that age I think! Or theirs were angels!

Well we had twins so even worse, but they would absolutely never just sleep wherever they were. They wouldn't even sleep in a travel cot! So no, we always either had to host or else get a babysitter!

We were the same - ours were only a year apart and both liked to be asleep, in their own beds by about 6:30pm.
So we just declined evening invites or just one of us went. I was happy for DH to go as I’d have the house and the evening pretty much to myself!

Do they have children? We’re similar, rural setting, any invites tend to be 5-10 miles away with no chance of a taxi! So one of us drives, we take DC and their pyjamas. DC3 is 15 months so still goes in the group 0 car seat, and can go to sleep there for a wee bit. The big ones carry on till we’re ready to go, and change into pjs before leaving the guests (always fall asleep in the car) and can be popped straight to bed. DC2 did like to be in bed for 730, so on occasion we did put him down in a travel cot and lift him before we left.
It’s much easier if your hosts/other guests have children, and they can play in a pack! Babies/toddlers can be such a novelty for older ones who love looking after them. Plus, the house is generally geared towards children, with no low level ornaments or candles!

Thanks all. Glad to know I've not got it so wrong. Yes I'm quite happy at home, just the strange looks.

I don't have any baby sitters or such a service available due to location.

@Thistles24 yes but all teenagers, we are about fifteen years behind after massive infertility issues. But she isn't on invite and when I've said to hosts oh I will stay with Dd they haven't said to bring her. It's more other people seem surprised I haven't. Dh said last night everyone said why didn't you bring her?? I just don't think it would make for a pleasant time for anyone really, but feel people think I'm being previous maybe? I dunno.

If it's not the hosts saying bring your child, then you did right not to.
Some people have flexible babies who are willing to go to sleep in a buggy/carseat/travel cot/random place. I did not have one of those children. An 8pm drinks party would have been horrific.

Mine are 2 and 4. Once they’re past the little baby stage (about 6 months for my kids) then we either didn’t go, just one of us went, or we got a babysitter. Mine just wouldn’t easily settle somewhere random and needed to be in bed by about 7.

We do social events starting earlier and just get them in pjs there and straight into bed when we got home, usually no later than 8pm. So no we don’t go to things starting at 8pm with our kids. It would be horrible for everyone involved.

Depends on the baby - one of mine was a party animal (still is), the other would sleep in the buggy. We only really went to family parties though.

Wouldn't work for us. My 18 month old only sleeps in her own cot. She's a great sleeper, goes down at 7pm no problem, also naps from 12-2pm, but if I mess with any of this, it's a disaster. We tried a weekend away with friends and a travel cot and she screamed the house down both nights for the entire night, and refused to nap during the day. For us the options are either:

1. Invite people here or
2. Get grandparents to babysit her here (in her own house)

I've taken my small ones to parties before when there's a place to put them down to crash later on... It's worked out fine. I only did it if cleared by host though!

They were trying to be friendly and welcoming and say We wouldn't have minded you bringing your dc - which is what I would have said if I were at the party but when mine were that age, I wouldn't have taken them out at that time of night. I'd have either used a sitter (if it were something I were keen to go to) or taken turns with dh so one of us went and one stayed home (for things less bothered about / when we couldn't get a sitter).

I misread the title.
I was expecting the musings from small children
Was going to add "hmmm. I'll be ok soon. This calpol will kick in, in about 10 minutes"
But going back to when they were small.
Ds had some kind of internal clock.
Up until 17:59, he was the sweetest, happiest little boy.
18:00, he turned evil.
If we hadn't got him in bed before 6, it was a nightmare

We did a lot of one parent going out and the other "babysitting"
We also had exdp family not understand why we didn't want to go to some distant uncle 80th party. With a 2 year old.
3 hours drive from home. Starting at 8pm.
Exdp had never even met this uncle of his.
I still remember that night (14 years later) shudder.
Do what you need to for your DC.
It's ok to decline evening drinks, offer to meet for afternoon tea or walk in the village instead. It's fine to be exhausted in the evening, looking after kids all day