Dry January 2020. A new relationship with alcohol. Who’s joining me?

[ParanoidGynodroid]

It’s that time again!
I did my first dry January around 5 years ago, having seen it on here. It was a great thing to do: really helped my get control of my drinking. Since then I’ve done it every year, along with at least one or two other dry months.

DJ may help you:
Lose weight. ...
Get better skin. ...
Make healthier food choices. ...
Save money. ...
Sleep better. ...
Have more energy. ...
Improve your mood. ...
Improve your general health

and make you feel virtuous!

It’s not necessarily easy though, so it’s good to have support; especially if you’re feeling week and like you may give up. We can support each other here.

Join me!

I have also clung to the Penguin Berg in previous Januarys. My problem is that I love wine, I just love it Any other form of booze I can easily take or leave, but I cannot leave a bottle of wine unfinished. I lack an effective off switch but I'm hoping it just needs resetting.

So, yesterday I tried Lidl's no-alcohol IPA, which was surprisingly nice and makes a change from Beck's Blue. Today I picked up a bottle of Ceder's gin substitute in Tesco. I wasn't convinced I'd like it as I'm not mad on Seedlip but with posh tonic, some cucumber and a slice of lemon it was actually quite nice.

Have done Day 1 (even if it was Day 2).

I've got a pretty challenging weekend ahead. Having lived in a social desert for several years since we moved house, all my efforts at being the hostess with the mostest have finally paid off and I have been invited to a drinks do every day for the next 3 days. I reckon if I can get through that lot I'll be on a roll.

I'm v jealous of the Epson salts crew on here - our hot water tank dates from the 70's when baths involved just an inch of water so long relaxing soaks are not on the menu for me.

My main strategies for success in the past have been a plentiful supply of romcoms and low effort books plus plenty of my favourite salty snacks. Not great for the waistline but hoping the lower calories from alcohol can be offset against higher calories from Monster Munch.

Anyone else having trouble sleeping? Came to bed early but didn't get to sleep until after 12 and wide awake again now at 3. My brain is confused by the lack of alcohol I guess.

Same, Izzy 😭
I have rotten insomnia at the best of times so really hoping the Great Dry Spell of 2020 will help a little

Hopefully things will improve Cilantro. Thank god I'm not back at work until Monday.

Can I sneak in at the back a bit late?
Been away for NY and I’ve been toying with the idea of Dry Jan this year.
I love a few drinks and the regularity and amount has crept up this year.
I think I need a reset.
Doingitforhim the turmoil following a difficult bereavement was what finally stopped me smoking for good, well over a decade ago. It was good to have a separate goal to focus on too.

I’m having trouble sleeping too Izzy. I’ve been awake since about 3, trying to get back off. Decided to give up, get up and have a cup of tea. Am reading the one year no beer book. Apparently by end of day 2, I should be sleeping better, have more energy and ready to start new exercise routine. Well I’m awake, don’t feel particularly energetic tho and no interest in exercising. I think maybe I had more of an alcohol addiction than I thought and my body needs to adjust.

Can't sleep!! Arghhhh only day 3 ... but I'm committed and can do this.

All those suffering with no sleep, think forward, the sleep WILL come and it will be blissful. Around 2 - 3 weeks in.

I'm rather hoping for beyond Jan, small steps.

Trouble sleeping here too.
Got to sleep about 12.30 and woke up at 5! Very tedious , going to read for a bit and try and get back over.
I am already worrying about tonight!
Friday feels harder to do but it is just because the culture is so ingrained I guess.

Shocking nights sleep here too. Crazy wild dreams too.

Actually quite glad I'm getting up for work now. Didn't enjoy my night in bed one bit.

The effects of stopping drinking are quite alarming.

Day three today, hope the wine/gin witch is on holiday! I m going out for a, run early tomorrow, so hopefully this shoukd keep the witch at bay. I'm picturing her in my head and one day i hope i can oush her of wine cliff/ gin rock!

@myhandsareverycold I was exactly the same - a bottle of wine and easily into the next one nearly every day. You want to do this so you just need to find the right motivation.

For me, my DH has cancer and spent last year going through hell with chemo (& I drunk to cope). Now he is in remission it’s easier for me and if he can go through months of chemo and fight to get better for our family then I can do 30 days off the wine.

Just one day at a time. You say you have kids, so you probably/hoped didn’t drink while pregnant - use that same motivation now to think about making sure you will be here to see them grow up.

It’s really hard and I get the anxiety as well, so last night I was folding washing, tidying kids rooms and generally doing other things than being in the kitchen cooking. In a couple of days this will ease and I can get back to cooking without that anxiety.

Does anyone have any experience with emotions going into day three. My anxiety is crippling. Took two sleeping tablets last night but woke up feeling like I was going to be really unwell arms aching chest pains palpitations. Laid there terrified.

My husband has just gone to work normally I go feed my animals and being outside relaxes me. Just burst into tears now and can't face going outside feel terrified but I have no idea what off. Just sat crying with my dogs wondering what's going on.

Hope everyone else is doing well best wishes to you all.

Any advice appreciated tia

Just had a longer than usual hot shower. Several things came to mind

I can drive my car first thing in the morning without fear of still being over the limit

I won't worry that I said something inappropriate last night (although I was a grumpy cow)

I didn't fall asleep on the sofa and I remember coming to bed.

I read a lot of my book when I got into bed (love reading haven't been sober enough to do that for ages though)

My hands weren't shaking when I woke up

I didn't feel like something had died on my mouth

I had two gins last night, so still not 'dry' however that's huge for me. One tonight perhaps, none Saturday and then it's officially my 30 day countdown. This is the way it will work for me. I gave up for a few weeks last summer (ultimatum issued) and despite feeling very hard done by in the beginning I did actually feel better (and annoyingly high and mighty) when others were drinking.

However I slipped back into my old habits alarmingly quickly.

I drink in the evenings because I'm tired and it's an escape and I feel, because I've got a stressful job, I deserve it. Sitting at my desk working until 9pm seemed better with wine though. Everyone else relaxing watching TV, working with something nice to drink seemed a fair pay off.

I need to hang onto how I feel this morning rather than how I feel in the evenings. It would never occur to me to drink now so why do I at the other end of the day?

Bad nights sleep suck (but I'm not sure I've had a 'good night' sleep for ages. A drunken sleep isn't a good nights sleep)

I'm off to work now with a small spring in my step.

@anonengland

Give your dogs a huge cuddle. Now they like being outside I assume? Can you do it for them. Deep breaths. Imagine they are scared and you are encouraging them to be outside.

I'm sorry you feel so bad...

@anonengland anxiety is really hard. I experience it at times, just take things slowly, one thing at a time - don’t look at the big picture of what you need to get done today, tomorrow, next week, just focus on what you need to do immediately now and think through what you need to do this. It sounds silly but it can help. So if it’s out to feed your animals start with something simple and easy like which shoes/welly boots you need, then which animal you need to feed first.

Once you have done a few things hopefully the anxiety will pass. And take things slowly, don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t go to plan, just put it down to learning and be proud of what you have done.

@myhandsareverycold

Thank you I took my dogs with me and I did feel better for just being outside I felt like my lungs could open up a bit.

I realise the alcohol has probably masked my anxiety at times but also made it worse.

I have just got to try and get to the opticians today my glasses have been waiting for weeks.

You're encouragement and sympathetic words mean so much. I've disconnected myself for a long time so I am quite isolated. This group is quite vital to me at the minute.

I really hope you are doing well and wish you the best

@cravingcake

Thank you I managed to put wellies on and get out. My dogs were great they just sat and waited at the gate for me. Normally they are barking and around my feet.

I'm sure they understand more than we realise. Back in now and I will have some calms and a camomile tea - treats all round for the dogs.

Thank you for your kind words it means a lot when I was so panicked.

I really hope you are doing well and once again thanks

I'm in. Day 2 now. Similar to a PP, I don't actually want to stop drinking as when I'm sitting down with a glass of wine, it's the only thing I have from the constant demands of young children, an insanely busy job and a husband that drains my mental health.

Unfortunately this all means that I NEED to stop drinking. I just feel that everything and everyone in my life is take take take and o need an escape.

Oh thank goodness I've found you all!

First 2 days have been okay, but I've been dreading Friday evening.

I've been sleeping really well, and I was nodding along to myhandsareverycold's list! Hell yeah!

I'd got to the stage of drinking at least a bottle of white wine each evening, and that has to stop. I still have alcohol in the house, just not white wine.

Seedlip and tonic in a can will last me most of the evening, suitably garnished with ice and a slice. I also like no sugar ginger beer. But really I'm not a fizzy drinks person. I'm trying Everleaf, but it's a bit sweet - I take a very small glug topped with soda.

I have a dance class to occupy me on Saturday night, was planning a little pamper session tonight. My daughter bought me a foot soak and face pack for Christmas, and my nails could do with some TLC.

Excited about the idea of a quiz, and love the penguin huddle analogy.

I'm giving this a go. Did a sober October a couple of years ago, and have occasionally been through phases of only drinking three nights a week. But the norm for me is at least one beer on school nights, and more at the weekend. Overall I'm probably having 20-25 units a week. The quantity isn't that much, but I really do feel like I "need" that one beer. Evenings feel flat and drab without it.

My plan is to have a reset, so that I'm not relying on that one drink to shift gears in the evening.

I'm focusing on: saving money, hopefully improving my skin, being kind to my liver, possibly improving my mild Crohn's disease, and feeling more clear-headed.

Right now though I feel kind of anxious. Back to work next week (my work can be v emotionally draining). And we're staying overnight with some heavy drinking friends this weekend.

Another couple of motivators for me: DH is starting a new job soon, so all the more reason for clear-headedness, and my two older DC have had alcohol awareness lessons at school, and are very disapproving of our regular beer consumption.

On the negative side, I have some really lovely craft beers still in the fridge which keep winking at me. And it's Friday which is always a beery celebration night.

We’re into day 3 folks. We’ve done 6% already! 9% by tomorrow. My DH made chuffing noises when I asked him to be dry over the weekend with me. Then I pointed out next week I am back to work, home alone with young DC, it’s dark miserable January, I won’t be having a drink and he’ll be in the warm sunshine in the Caribbean. So he agreed. Whether he sticks to it tonight or not is another matter. This is going to be tough so I’ve got my supper planned out, Lidl 0% lager (as good as becks and half the price), and a good book and salty bath planned for after supper. Oh and Dracula to watch. Got. To. Do. This. My health now depends on my liver being healthier than it lives.....

During a routine scan a year ago for something else, it was noted that I had some fat on my liver. My consultant explained that these days 90% of people who drink over the recommended amount for 3-4 weeks consecutively will start to build fat on their livers. Its becoming a real issue. And you don’t have to drink a litre of vodka a day for this to happen. 5 units a day for a woman - that’s two medium glasses of wine - daily for a fortnight is enough to do this. And just to terrify me more he explained that alcohol related fatty liver is the first stage of liver disease. Last year I had 6 weeks off the booze (which amazingly should be enough to clear the fat mostly away) then stuck to drinking under 20 units over 3 days and nothing for 4 days. I lost 2 stone and I felt amazing. Then Thursday night drinking crept back in and by the end of the year I suspect I was back up to 40 units a week - easily enough to be laying that fat back on my liver again. Fatty liver has pretty much no symptoms but it can do serious damage. Un-reversed the cells can’t regenerate and your liver cells die. And that’s serious territory.

So I’ve got to do this. Not an option to do anything else.

Tonight is going to be tough though.

Can I ask how much you guys drink and for how long?

I've been drinking heavily for a long time, since I was about 17 and now I'm 36! I have improved since the kids, I used to drink every day and get VERY drunk, but now have 4/5 alcohol free days and get blind drunk less frequently but it's still not unheard of. I have to be careful what I have in the house, I will literally sit and drink until everything is gone once I've started.

I have this hope that I will be able to drink in moderation at some point but don't know if I'm kidding myself. Day to day I quite like the thought of not drinking but longer term, holidays, socialising etc. Sound pretty shit with no booze!

What about you ladies?

Im doing it. I managed it last year. I have a half bottle of good red wine left over from new year that I wanted to drink last night but dh offered to drink it!

Also got an event to go to in January that there is lots to drink but hopefully will be in the swing of things by then.