Too soon to get a dog?

[BarchesterTowers]

My dh’s son died a few weeks ago, it was expected. We’ve had his girlfriend and gorgeous puppy staying since it happened and they are going home soon.

I’ve rung a local breeder and asked to be put on the waiting list.

We’ve talked lots about a dog previously and thought we’d wait till we’d retired. But I think it will help dh to have a puppy round. I can work flexibly during the firsts puppy months, my parents are retired and will help, there is really good puppy day care available.

Any thoughts on whether this is just a grief fuelled misjudgment or a way of focusing us on something else?

Don't get a puppy now, you are grieving and both work so this will not help either you or the poor dog. You will be getting it as a distraction. A dog shouldn't be a plaster, you would be getting one for the wrong reason.

Take some time to grieve. Sorry for your loss.

I’m going to go the other way and say a dog will probably give you a welcome distraction. You can grieve and be busy with a puppy, you don’t need to sit and dwell if that isn’t what you want to do.

Talk it over properly, puppies are hard work and the ‘puppy blues’ is a very real thing. Can you both cope with toilet training etc and not get stressed with the current circumstances?

Well I have to admit that I am thinking more about the dog. I cannot bear it when people get a dog, and it has to be a sweet puppy and not a rescue, and then are too busy to give it a good life.

We are a bit worried about the commitment but have loved having the puppy stay. The focus would be good for DH, he needs a reason to get up 8n the morning and was going through major empty nest before.

We’ve always had rescues in my family, some more successful than others... but we live somewhere where rescues aren’t that easy. We’d hav3 to travel quite away.

I think I'd wait a bit longer. If you aren't totally sure then that's a sign to wait. A dog is very helpful during hard times in that it gives you something g else to focus on, motivates you to get up and outside. Having a dog and petting them has been proven to reduce stress and walking (which you'll do more of), is recommend as a mood lifter. But a puppy is very stressful and very hard work for the first few months. I honestly think you'd be better off waiting a few more months. It wouldn't be fair to anyone, or the animal, if having a new dog turned out to make things worse instead of better.

I'm really sorry for your loss.