What does he mean by this?

[AQuestionForTheMen]

Regular poster, NC for this.

There is a colleague I encounter at work most days.

Almost every time I see him he compliments me hugely and squeezes my shoulders (often from behind, both hands).

He definitely goes out of his way to touch me if our paths cross - though not in an overly inappropriate way or place - but it's definitely a habit.

Not one I reciprocate or encourage (in fact I will often go out of my way not to speak to him because of it.)

He definitely is NOT attracted to me in any way, and he makes no effort to do this surreptitiously - he will do it openly in front of other colleagues, junior and senior, in a crowded room.

I am definitely very much unavailable, and he knows this, as does everyone else.

What on earth is he doing?

Display of dominance?

What Tableclothing said.

Sounds like he's trying to say "I can touch you whenever I want because I'm a man" or something similar. I would respond with a snappy "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Yes, it’s a dominance and control thing. Stop him.

Yes U agree display of dominance. Might be best to kind of jump out of his way in an over exaggerated comedy style saying wow ! Personal space here or watch the dodgy shoulder quite loudly? I don't know what otomunsnettersbthink ?

Why on earth would he want to exert dominance over me though? I'm really the lowest of the low in my position, and again everyone knows this, him included.

Why on earth would he want to exert dominance over me though?

Because you are a woman and he is a dickhead.

It's definitely not normal behaviour, is it?

Not normal behaviour, no.

And what do you think he hopes to achieve by it?

Very recent similar thread here op, seems it is likely a dominance thing.
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Unwanted shoulder rubs as a sign of dominance ?! http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3690039-unwanted-shoulder-rubs-as-a-sign-of-dominance

Is he generally a nice guy? He may just really like you and be a tactile person 🤷🏻‍♀️ I personally wouldn't assume dominance but then I'm fairly tactile myself and it's done affectionately, never anything sinister! Luckily I live in a country where people are generally even more tactile than me.

If it makes you uncomfortable I'd find a lighthearted way to let him know. Something like "ow, you nearly put my back out there, haha!" And then subsequent times swerve him and say "Noo, I don't want another back injury, I'm still recovering from last time!"

I'm sure you'll be encouraged to make an official complaint with HR but if I didn't think it was malicious I'd try a softly softly approach first.

Is he generally a nice guy? He may just really like you and be a tactile person

Actual nice guys don't go round doing stuff like this as a matter of routine.

OP, how many men does he do it to as well? Or superior colleagues, for that matter? And how frequently?

Thanks @AngusThermopyle, I knew I'd read about this before! What are these men thinking of, behaving in such an unprofessional way at work? Never mind the softly softly approach, I'd be tempted to give him an earful each time he touched me OP.

Actual nice guys don't go round doing stuff like this as a matter of routine.

Not true at all. I work with many nice mem and women who are tactile at work and it is done affectionately. Maybe it depends on the sector and, as I said, I live abroad where people are generally more tactile.

Almost every time I see him he compliments me hugely and squeezes my shoulders (often from behind, both hands).

He definitely goes out of his way to touch me if our paths cross

There's being tactile in a working, professional environment, and there's this ^ . I work with many colleagues from about 15 different countries so we're all versed in the vagaries of different greetings/goodbyes, from handshakes to multiple kisses on each cheek. None of them ever seek me (or anyone in my office) to undertake stuff like OP describes on a regular basis. And "affectionate?" That's a weird word to describe interactions between two professional people?

But even a colleague I consider a friend and I see infrequently, the most it'll be is a quick hug and chitchat.

I believe he is a nice man. No evidence to the contrary. Just this confusing behaviour.