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Anyone moved a child school who really doesn’t want to?

9 replies

betternamechangeforthisone · 29/12/2019 15:22

We’d like to move house and to keep the kids in the same school we are hugely narrowing down our options and will have to wait a lot longer to move (tbf ours isn’t even on the market yet so it’s not like we need to move ASAP).

If we moved the kids school we’d have much more options but one of them in particular is dead set against it. Obviously if we did find the perfect house in the perfect area with a good school we would probably do it but I’d feel so so awful.

Anyone done it or managed to persuade them it’s a good idea?

OP posts:
BaggaChips · 29/12/2019 15:37

I think the decision about moving kids does depend somewhat on the ages of the kids. I moved my DS 200 miles away and into a new school in year 2 and he was fine but I probably wouldn't move his high school unless there was an issue as it's a great school and he has well established friendships there.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 29/12/2019 15:43

It really depends on the age and personality of the child.

I had to move schools due to a family move and as a painfully shy child I made no friends at all. I didn't go to college as a result as my self esteem dropped so low and have no qualifications to my name.

I wouldn't move a child who was at secondary school, and only at primary age if they were good at adapting and make friends easily.

reefedsail · 29/12/2019 15:45

I wouldn’t move a happy child out of a good school for the sake of a house.

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notnowmaybelater · 29/12/2019 16:03

Absolutely depends on ages. Completely meaningless without knowing whether the child in question is 4 or 14 (any older absolutely not until after compulsory education).

betternamechangeforthisone · 29/12/2019 16:07

Sorry, lower half of primary school.

One of them in particular is very good at making friends BUT loves their current friends so so so so much and can’t imagine not seeing them.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 29/12/2019 16:13

I’ve recently moved my two
(Reception age and year 2).

At first they were excited about moving, but then the reality of leaving all their friends behind hit them and they were both distraught.

Ds (reception) has settled really well. He was barely at his old school so transitioned really well.

Dd (year 2) is doing ok, she misses her old friends and her old school, but she’s doing well where she is.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 29/12/2019 16:14

I moved a 6 year old 200 miles. As you say lower half I can’t imagine they’re older than 7, I personally wouldn’t give them a choice-although I’d speak to them about why I’m moving them.

MrsMillerbecameababy · 29/12/2019 16:24

My parents moved me at 7 and I resented it on and off for most of my childhood but mainly because they moved us from a fairly ordinary semi urban community where I had loads of friends I was already allowed to call for walk to school with, and I realised as a pre teen there would have been a vibrant small city within easy reach by public transport, to a very rural location where I had absolutely no friends anywhere nearby, school was ten miles away and nothing was acceptable except by car. As I grew up there I failed to loose the "wrong" accent and they sent me to a secondary school even further away. I often thought wistfully of the very ordinary place we'd moved from, where the people had made my life so much more fun and less lonely.

My parents moved us to a big detached house with a massive garden in a chocolate box village, from a 1960s brick semi with a small garden and always said they did it for me (and my then preschool age sibling). This made it worse as I was ungrateful and knew it, but I was happier in the less picture book location... My parents had an idea of where they wanted to bring up children, but I'm not sure they really gave much thought to the reality of their pastoral vision for a child used to having lots of friends about.

So I do think a nice can be wrong for even a fairly young child.

It depends why you're moving I guess. It's not necessarily better to move and change school when you're very happy and established where you are, for the sake of moving just because you can afford a bigger house...

On the other hand I got over it obviously, made friends at school though never anyone within walking distance for the rest of my childhood though I did ask to go to boarding school to have friends on tap just as I'd had in the average suburban area Grin

MrsMillerbecameababy · 29/12/2019 16:25
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