In 2020 I want to use my phone less

[PaperFlowers4]

I waste so much time on my phone. It’s the first thing I reach for when I wake up and the last thing I look at before bed. I can literally spend all evening dithering around on it and don’t even notice the time passing. I hate the compulsive checking it encourages and the endless scrolling.

I’m really going to make an effort in 2020 to tear myself away from it. I did do this a bit in 2019 but its so easy to slip back into old habits. So far I’ve deleted all distracting apps and turned off all notifications except for messages. I’ve desaturated the display and suddenly the real world looks more colourful and interesting than my screen. I’ve downloaded some blocking software which I’ll use for distracting websites.

Also considering getting a cheapie dumbphone to use alongside my smartphone (which I do need for work). It’s tempting now there are some “dumbphones” that come with WhatsApp

You can put a time limiter on for apps and websites, that can be quite helpful.

Interesting- what is ‘desaturating’?

@SimonJT how do you do that please? I am of great age and not tech savvy

Following for tips as I also want to do this.

And yes, I know I could just stop, but actually, I don’t think I can, if that makes sense.

It can be done on all smart phones, but I only know how to do it on iphones. Settings -> screen time. For other phones google should be able to tell you what to do.

Thanks @SimonJT I do have iPhone- will have a look

Could try setting time limits
And saying you won’t go on it after a certain time so say past 9pm then you have some down time before bed

I'm the same. In the new year I'm going to put my phone and iPad in another room in the evening so that I can't fiddle with them.

what is ‘desaturating’?

Making the colours less intense. The standard Display and Brightness panel on the iPhone just has brightness, but there are more options under Accessibility.

I am the same. I don't find the time-limit feature that useful because my urge to check certain apps/websites overcomes my willpower and I simply find myself turning the limits off again.

To me those app restricting features are a bit like telling a drug addict they can hide their drugs in the attic so they can't get to them... Yes, it's less convenient, but at the end of the day, when you really crave it, you will go back up and get it.

There are a few 'how to break up with your phone' self-help books on Amazon which have varying reviews. I haven't read any yet but I may be tempted to.

I actually feel really shit about this because I have a 2 year old and a 5 year old who often don't get enough attention because I'm on my phone all the time I am also setting them a bad example for their future device use.

The problem is compounded by the fact that I am a SAHM living abroad so the internet is my lifeline to family, friends, even just chatting to strangers on here or FB groups gives me some sense of social connection that I don't get in my real life.

We have a box in the living/bed rooms which devices go into when you enter that room - stops lots of the mindless scrolling!

So you initiate that change by posting on mumsnet about it? One way for it to never happen.

I am also trying this, was doing really well but have slipped back into using my phone a lot in the evening and making it the last thing I look at at night. It's difficult because I use it for work so I tell myself I need to be on it, but realistically about 10% of what I use it for is actually work and the rest just mindless scrolling!

I’m doing this too. Or trying to.

One thing that has worked well is leaving my phone downstairs on charge over night. It has helped me sleep better.

I’ve also deleted all social media. I don’t actually need it. We buy a Sunday paper and I’ve started writing to friends again. I feel a lot better now my screen time is sub two hours- am trying I get it to 30 mins a day by using my actual laptop for online shopping.

I’ve been trying to reign it in too and trying with various degrees of failure success.
What has stuck is

• switching back to paper books and keeping them by the sofa and by the bed
• having intentional scrolling breaks during the day
• putting the phone down and making eye contact when my dc speak to me even if I’m in a “scrolling break”
• my children are school age so I have two distinct periods in my day and try to put it aside once they get home.

I didn’t know you could get dumb phones with WhatsApp. That could work for me.

I like the desaturation idea!

@PickAChew I think saying a resolution you're making aloud, or speaking to other people about it (even if it's just strangers online) makes it feel like you've made more of a commitment than just deciding on it in your mind. It makes you feel more accountable. And chatting on MN on a laptop occasionally is not incompatible with using smartphones less during the daytime.

How do you desaturate your phone?

I'm always fiddling in Evening. It does waste time.

Ooh I just thought of one thing that I've had some success with in the past. There's an app called Forest where you 'plant a tree' and you can't use your phone while it's growing or the tree will die. It's only a virtual tree but for some reason it works for me. You set the duration that you want to concentrate for (I think it goes from about 10 mins to 2 hours) and after that time a shrub or tree will appear on your plot. At the end of the day or week you can see a nice forest of trees that you've 'cultivated' by dedicating that time away from your phone. It's very simple but I find it weirdly satisfying.

I am the same, both phone and iPad. I am so annoyed with myself. I was late to the iPad and smart phone, used to have an old Nokia and read books and newspapers a lot. I swore I would not let devices take over. But they have. When I do try and read a book my attention is shot. I can read for about 10 minutes, but then I want to stop and do something else, normally involving screens.

I think the internet etc is a marvellous thing but usage creeps up and makes you a bit one dimensional. I used to like being a passenger in a car, looking around where we were going. Now it is head down, scrolling mindlessly, and ignoring the driver. I see a lot of parents ignoring their kids in favour of their phone. Outside a supermarket I saw a little girl in one of those machines like Thomas the Tank Engine. She was calling to her dad excitedly. He looked up from his phone and half heartedly smiled. When I walked past him I looked at his phone, he was looking at porn. That's a grim example but I see kids get ignored a lot, including the helper in a high viz top, at the back of a crocodile of kids at an attraction I was at who was walking and scrolling at the same time.

And it makes you read shite (or rather it facilitates the reading of shite), and can be depressing and play on anxieties if you read too much news.

I have had periods where I have not slept. I have made it worse by going online then as well. I really am going to change, I have to.

I was a real bookworm and I am making this one of my New Years resolution, read more books and less screen time. I see this as a health resolution, it is actually detrimental to health and well-being.

To desaturate on iPhone go to:

Settings
Accessibility
Display and text
Colour filters
Grayscale

I read this as a tip for reducing phone use and I wasn’t even going to try it because it sounded a bit pointless but god it makes such a difference somehow. When I turn the colours back on suddenly the icons look like rows of enticing sweets just begging me to click on them.

The only way I could manage this was if Mumsnet didn’t exist

Good thread! I have been worried about the amount of screen time DD11 has ( 2 hours a day on laptop/tablet in addition to time on her phone) but it’s kind of hypocritical to tell her to come off her phone when I’m on mine quite a lot! I’m a Facebook addict & it can cause all sorts of problems & worries. Makes me behave like a teenager if I’m absolutely honest! I really want to reduce my social media “ viewing” in 2020. Not sure I could delete FB but I certainly want to spend more time in the real world with my real friends.

I find reading a proper book or reading on my kobo works for me.

I found that if I read on my phone or iPad on the kindle app I would get distracted by the news, mums net, or just thinking of something and looking it up.

Whereas if I read a book or on my e-reader the temptation is removed.

I'm with you on wanting to use my phone less, I also want to watch TV more, sounds odd but I rarely watch it and would like to form the habit of watching something a couple of times a week.

I am so boring that I only really watch countryfile and gardeners world type things with the odd documentary. I fancy some light relief type tv!

I have an app called off time.

For a period you set it blocks everything except certain preselected apps. So i keep phone, text, internet banking and camera usable and block everything else.