Up and horribly anxious, anyone want to distract me with crap jokes?

[HearMeRawwr]

Up and horribly anxious, anyone want to distract me with crap jokes

Title says it all, feel v panicky for no reason, think it's some new meds I've started, but dont know where to put myself

I'm crap at jokes. I always read funny threads in the MN Classics section when I can't sleep. Also, audiobooks help. You can get free ones if you have a library card, via the Libby & RBDigital apps. (I'm assuming you're in the UK.)

Hope you feel better soon.

I’m contemplating whether I could cope in Jail. My partners snoring right now and the temptation to smother him is getting greater by the minute.

I hope you feel better soon.

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an elephant ?
Extremely large holes all over Australia

Thanks bovril, I have indeed been seeking solace in classics any you can recommend? I was v absorbed by drug addicted baby, I know its v sad but was so uplifting how amazing the OP was and of old Korean lady sticks out too as a firm fave

Oh back think of all the doors clanking and the lights in jail, you would have your own bed though, it's a toss up, I have lots of nervous energy if you need help digging up the patio

Haha that image has made me smile, thanks betty

I've had a good scrub in the bath and brushed my teeth which always helps, have lit some candles and am sat in my meditation corner, think I'll attempt a colouring book

If one door closes behind you and another one opens in front of you, you're probably in jail....

Do you know what's useful. Watching comedies.

Any Bob Mortimer clip from Would I Lie To You does it for me. My 2 favourites

I've been where you are.

Got no crap jokes, but you're right to try and distract yourself

Just want to say, this will pass, hang on in there.

There's a forum on No More Panic, which I found really useful.

Hope you feel better soon. 💐

I like the thread about the thug cat next door - lots of cat photos.
Also, the pisstaking thread about the dreadful lines magazines use to attract readers. "Bum torn apart by wedding dress."

What did the the drummer call his twin daughters?Anna one, Anna two!

Why did Tigger have his head down the loo?

He was looking for Pooh!

Been awake since 1.30 partner blissfully asleep. Got to drive 5 hours up north today. Thankfully we share it.

How many ears does Spock have?

Three.

The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!