4.5 year old not talking.

[Mana107]

Hi
My 4.5 years old son doesn't seem interested in speaking. He knows a lot of words but is not forming sentences or communicating. He is a very happy, affectionate smart kid. He's taking speech therapy for almost 1.5 years now. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm from India, so schooling is a big problem now that he's not speaking. I've been told by several professionals that he doesn't seem autistic but I don't know what the problem is. Please help me.

Selective mutism?

What does the speech therapist say? Has the speech therapist been into school and worked with the SEN team? What plans are in place at school?

He is going to a pre school where the teachers are not helping much. The speech therapist says he is doing very well in sessions and is very hopeful that he'll speak pretty soon. But I don't see much of a improvement at home. He's definitely better that hiw he was a year ago but here to get into a good school is so difficult with impairments.

How to determine if he has selective mutism

Selective mutism means a person talks "normally" in some situations but not others. It's a social phobia. It definitely doesn't sound like that's what your son is experiencing.

Some children are late talking and need support with it. It's called DLD - developmental language disorder.

@AllTheHippos
Yes, selective mutism is not the case with my son. He just doesn't seem interested. I might be wrong but I have a feeling that somehow he knows he cannot speak properly so doesn't try.
He's usually very careful. He didn't walk till 14 months but did it in 2 days. So, maybe he wouldn't try doing something till he's confident enough. Just trying to give myself some much needed hope

@AllTheHippos
Is ther any other treatment for DLD other than speech therapy. Here we still don't have much resources. I have to research. Thanks for the help

I would advise asking the speech and language therapist if she thinks it's DLD or something else. That would dictate what sort of support your son needs. But yes, speech and language therapy is the only evidence based treatment for DLD.

Will definitely discuss with her. Thanks for all the help.

@mana107 do you live in the UK? Please don't think I'm being disrespectful but what language do you speak at home? Do you only speak English? Or is your son learning more than one language at the same time? This can cause delays - but ultimately will be a benefit for him.

The pre-school should be working with the S&L therapist to help your son and create a programme of support. Keep asking what they are doing to help. As soon as you have your school place allocated then ask for an appointment with the SEN specialist so they can be ready for him too.

How often does he have speech therapy and does he always see the same therapist? Is it NHS or private?
A lot depends on the answers to these questions but I would look at getting a second opinion and possibly change therapists / have more regular sessions etc. There are several different techniques that can be used and it is important to find the correct route for your son.

@Mumdiva99
I stay in India. We speak 2 languages and one of them is English. Here it's a bit different. All the schools are private and therapy is done separately. The only way of communication between them is through us. I'm facing a lot of problem getting him admitted to a school. Wither they are hesitant or asking for an astronomical fee.

@PoptartPoptart
As I mentioned earlier I'm from India. He takes 1 BT, 2OT and 2ST classes per week. He sees the same therapists as in India it is private and not many options available. I'd definitely go for another assessment. Planning to do it in January.

Has his hearing been checked?

Good luck @Mana107 I hope you get the help he needs.

My DD was like this. It got better slowly and there were some bumps at age 8 where I thought she was going to have a stutter but everything resolved itself and now aged 15 she doesn't stop talking.

Have you tried to get a copy of the Hanlon method? I found it very helpful. You can often pick them up on eBay. Or try the Hanlon website.

The plasticity of the brain is complicated and jump starting speech can take time but a good speech therapist should be suggesting fun games that do this and help.

@anon2000000000
Yes his hearing was checked an year back. Now his speech therapist doesn't think he needs to be tested.

@Mumdiva99
Thank you

@Happinessinapeartree
Hearing about your daughter gave me some hope. When and how did she start talking? I'd never heard about Hanlon method. I'll definitely look into it. His speech therapist seems good. But she is the only one in this area. As I mentioned earlier the resources are not that advanced here. We'll keep trying. That's the only thing we can do.

My son will be 5 in spring and he doesn’t talk much. There’s continuous progress compared to a year ago but we’re still at 3-4 word sentences. He’s bilingual too which doesn’t help the situation but can’t be changed. We’re starting speech therapy in spring (no available places at the moment) and general supportive measures for his development In January. But I’m finding this so hard not knowing why.

My brother had delayed development probably due to his every need being anticipated therefore he had no motivation to speak. (Incidentally he ended up with a PhD)
I think most parents instinctively force children into communicating by becoming less responsive to non verbal signals. e.g. rather than offering them a drink when you know they want one we ask what they want, supply alternative options and wait for an answer. "Do you want something to eat? Would you like a drink? What would you like? Milk or water? Which cup would you like it in? The green or the yellow cup?..........that sort of thing.
Do you read to him? Ask lots of questions. "Show mummy the dinosaur, what colour is it? It's green isn't it? What colour is it? then give lots of praise for responses.

My DD started with singular words. When she was three and a half I wrote a list and she could do about 150.

At age 4 to 5 she started to do some linking of words, sometimes doing as many as five every now and then.

Her speech improved greatly at school but age 7 she started some stuttering. This freaked me out again but it resolved within a year or two.

What I know now is that she had an expressive delay not receptive. She understood language in her head but struggled getting it out. A bit like having a good computer but the printer didn't work so well! It wasn't until she started school that I understood this as she did fine with learning.

She is a grade A student now and her confidence is great. Still a bit shy but that's her manner.

Is he your only child, or does he have a chatty elder sibling?
I have three, and youngest DD didn’t really talk much at all until preschool, because my big two knew what she wanted and just did it for her! 😂 once she was away from them at preschool and realised nobody was hanging on her every movement ready to appease her she soon found her voice! Just another perspective to add to the already wonderful advice you have received above!

Hi I just wanted to say I sympathize. My child is 4.5 and struggles to speak in certain situations. At home she's fine. With my friends and their kids she's fine. With school teacher she's talking abit. With family like grandparents or uncles and aunties she's mute. With strangers who talk in the street to her or a shop keeper she's silent. My DD doesn't seem asd. The school have asked us to get her ears and eyes tested but I think it just is taking her time to pick it all up and learn routine