Why do people say these things?!

[TabbyCatThursday]

I'm one of those permanently single people with a 'Insult Me Freely' sign written on my forehead.

No fewer than four people these holidays have said 'Not got a man, yet, Tabby?' with a tilted head of patronising disapproval and then gone on to tell me about an acquaintance who has found love in their eighties.

That is great for them, but FFS I am barely thirty.

They say it because they're unkind and mean. I do not believe anyone who tries to defend this sort of thing or dress it up as "banter" or "chit chat" or "showing interest"

In future, I dare you to say one of the following

"No, I'm a lesbian now. I've got a fancy woman"

"I've got two....I just need to decide which one to keep"

"Nah....I'm scared I'll end up looking like you if I get too comfy"

Because they are shits.

I've had it plenty of times in the past. I found giggling my way through "oh really, like we haven't really had several decades of women's lib, what rock were you hiding under" laugh & change the subject- worked for me

How rude of them.

My tactic for unwanted questions on any subject is to look them straight in the eye & ask them to repeat it as if you hadn't heard correctly, 'Sorry, what did you say?' It usually makes people stop and think for long enough that they feel embarrassed and don't want to say it again. If you can manage to raise a quizzical eyebrow when you say it, all the better.

I recommended this approach to my 20-something niece who was getting asked inappropriate questions at work. She reported back to me later on its effectiveness