How long did your child co-sleep for? I think it might be about time for my 3-yr-old but can’t convince them!

[Namechangefour]

That really. I cosleep with my 3-year-old. DH sleeps in spare room. Would like to make 3-year-old their own bedroom (in spare room) but a little worried to, in case it doesn’t work, and we’ve lost the double bed that DH needs (as he can’t cosleep with us).

The double bed takes up the entire spare room so I can’t keep it - it needs to be a single to make a bedroom for 3-year-old, to fit toys in etc. And I thought the more exciting and “theirs” it looks, the more likely 3-year-old will want to sleep in it?!

Anyone who long term coslept? When did it stop? And how did you manage to?

Could you start with a single mattress on the floor next to your bed and you and DH back to bed sharing?

Do up the spare room with single bed.
If it doesn't work out hubby sleeps in there on single bed...??
It wont be forever.

Chair bed for you in dc’s room to transition them in there and work you’re way back to your room once they’re asleep?

Keep the double for now & put the child in the spare room, then you go in if necessary. That's a kinder option than sudden lone sleeping.

I co-slept with all mine. Sons decided when they wanted to stop, my daughter is still there.

I haven't really got any words of wisdom - just solidarity! I'm in a very similar position, I still co-sleep with my two year old (three in March), and keep thinking I should try and get him into his own bed. My husband and seven year old are in twin beds in the "children's room"😂.

However, I do so love waking up all snuggly with him and I am acutely aware that he won't be little for long.

12 but he always had his own room.

Seems that it's your blokes preference that's the problem here. He can adapt to a single bed or he can do the co sleeping.

14 months for us.

It wasn’t his choice, it was mine. I value my own comfort and sleep and by then I needed a full nights sleep so I was fresh for work.

Did controlled crying over the course of a week but he was going into a cot.

Can’t get my almost 4 year old to stop. I put a toddler bed with her fave character bedding as well as single bed in “her” room. She went in it for one hour the first night. Now is back with me. Dh sleeps in the single bed in “her” room. I am now sandwiched between her and the 18 month old who seems to be going the same way! She chases me round the bed to. Some times I move to the bottom of the bed width ways to get a bit of space and she is always attached to me when I wake up!

As PPs have suggested do you have room in your bedroom to put a small cot bed or similar as a halfway transition? Then you decorate the other bedroom with your DCs input (obviously money depending) let him choose paint/wallpaper, soft furnishings, toy basket, duvet covers etc.

Alternatively yes your DH needs to get used to a single, it's not forever and I'm assuming it'll be pushed up against a wall.

My children were all in their own rooms at three months ! I just couldn’t sleep with them in with me . They were all fine and loved their own space when they were old enough to appreciate . I checked on them regularly overnight .

I didn't co-sleep with DS so don't have any experience but I like the suggestion of a mattress or cot bed in your room as a transition. Then I would move to a mattress in their room with you on the floor.

Currently co-sleeping with my 3 1/2 and 1 year old with my husband sleeping in the spare room. About to start the transition of getting the 3 year old into his own room & so far he says he wants to sleep in there. We've just done up his room so that he'll be more inclined to stay in there. Good luck.

Either you want them out enough to play hardball or actually you don’t care

‘Trying’ one night and then letting back in your own bed - what is the point?

Grandmi don’t really see how that is relevant to the thread. She has a co-sleeping 3 year old. Have you just come to show off?

'Co sleeping': when a child climbs into my bed at some point between 2 and 5 am and I can't be bothered to move him back. Actually I don't notice unless I'm awake for some reason; he's pretty ninja.
He's quite small and cuddly though (5). I think it may stop when he's being woken up by his brother who arrives in march!

My BIL slept in his parents room till he was 13 😂 (sorry, not helpful!)

I agree with someone else, is it possible to put a mattress on the floor of your room for your child to sleep on? Then at least you and DH can have your bed back and you can work on converting the spare room to be more toddler friendly.

You just have to go for it and make it clear you mean it.
For those saying her partner should be in the single bed and just put up with it, how would you like to be banished from your partner’s bed and stuck in a small room in a single bed? Oh and then told to put up and shut up?

In your situation is probably start sleeping with my child in the double bed in their room to get them used to the surroundings. You can creep away into your bed during the night and once they're used to their room you can swap the bed for a single one.

Ds was 4

He helped me redecorate his room (wall srickers) and we got some new bedding

He still often wonders in at some point in the night and at times I go to bed and find him in my bed already asleep - he is 12

We did bunk beds which she was excited to go to. She might like a canopy bed ?

My son moved out of my room around May (just before he turned four), he didn’t go to bed at the same time as me so he was used to going to sleep alone and waking up alone as I go to bed fairly late.

He still gets in my bed every night, or if we go on holiday, stay at friends etc we share a bed.

Unless an adult is fairly small a single bed really isn’t big enough, but could you put a small double in the spare room?

I moved DD just before her second birthday. She got a small double bed, I don’t like toys in the bedroom. I bugged it as an adventure, bought exciting bedding and I spent the first couple of weeks sleeping in her room. Then we just cuddled her to sleep and felt but hopped into bed with her is she woke during the night.

I still co sleep with my 6 year old. He has his own room but he sleeps in with me. I'm letting him grow out of it in his own time.

I'm single though so that makes a difference. I think it's harder when you have a partner.

You and your partner need to decide - is it going to be your child's decision when they move out, or is it down to you, the adults. No judgement either way, it just helps to be clear with each other. If your child doesn't actually have a bed, they can't decide to sleep in it.
If you and partner decide to move the child out, decide on a strategy. You are teaching your child a new skill which they don't particularly want to learn. Do you want to reward progress? What with?
Personally I'd wait until after 1st Jan, as otherwise the fireworks may cause a setback. As a strategy I'd look at something like you take it in turns to put the child to bed - one night each, or one of you does it (sleep research says one of you should do it, my tired mum experiences say share the joy!) I'd split it I do anything before 1am, he does anything after. You take the child back to their own bed, every time.
You are worried about what if it doesn't work - why wouldn't it work? Your child is unlikely to adjust the first night, but he is also unlikely to tie shoelaces on his first attempt, or write his name. If it is important that he learns something quickly, you just persevere a bit more intently!

Mine is 9 and is refusing still to sleep in her own bed /room. I am single and don't care though. Even if I go and sleep elsewhere she finds me in the night. She says she can smell me not being there. As they say, they won't be there forever.