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Original poster

Am I the only adult who got nothing for Christmas?

43 replies

StarUtopia · 25/12/2019 22:57

Just wondering.

DH and I did agree not to get each other anything. Money is very tight so everything was spent on the kids.

However. Reading through MN tonight and scrolling through Instagram and FB, I honestly feel like the only adult in the world who literally had zero presents to open today.

Definitely haven't felt very Christmassy as I have nothing new to coo over!

OP posts:
ScrewThat · 25/12/2019 23:01

I got nothing. Have some flowers from me Flowers

imwellardme · 25/12/2019 23:05

You definitely won't be the only person. Lots of people agree not to buy for each other, particularly where there are lots of children in the family or money is tight.

Original poster
StarUtopia · 25/12/2019 23:07

Virtual flowers are fab thank you!

We actually had a good time today. For the main, kept off social media. It was just the last half hour or so scrolling through it suddenly made me feel somewhat of a failure!

OP posts:

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Events & celebrations
Llareggub · 25/12/2019 23:08

I don’t get anything either. I’m a single parent and my family only buy for the kids of the family.

I buy myself something instead and wish myself a very happy Christmas. It’s a win win frankly.

Comps83 · 25/12/2019 23:09

No presents were opened in this house today . Hasn’t felt like Xmas at all

Karwomannghia · 25/12/2019 23:09

One year dh and I didn’t get each other anything and although I did get stuff from the wider family I didn’t want to do that again!

ssd · 25/12/2019 23:11

Dh and I didn't get gifts, the dss have got all our money this year and that's the way we want it.
Not martyrs, just skint.

Ninkanink · 25/12/2019 23:11

We decided not to do gifts between us this year. I don’t think we did them last year either.

Dowser · 25/12/2019 23:13

I got my present from dh in November a north face arctic parka. On holiday last week he asked if he should get me some ck 1 to open on Christmas Day. I told him I have a full bottle at home.
So no presents exchanged here. It’s fine..he got. His freet shoes and a magnetic bracelet from me and a shungite pendant that was delivered 60 miles away and he’ll get it at new year.
Had a lovely Christmas all the same..but dh is pants at buying surprise presents

SunshineAngel · 25/12/2019 23:13

I think lots of partners agree not to buy, but to not get one single present, from anyone, seems sad to me :( I am so sorry.

I on the other hand am filled with guilt, because my partner and I also agreed no presents, firmly I might add, and he got me a beautiful necklace anyway.. and I got him literally nothing. So as much as I love it (and him!) I feel very, very guilty now.

Original poster
StarUtopia · 25/12/2019 23:25

Yes, I guess I secretly hoped he might have surprised me with something!

My Mum and Dad didn't even get me anything - as they gave us cash recently to help out with bills (it did and it was VERY appreciated) but sometimes you just can't beat a surprise £10 thoughtful gift?!

OP posts:
GlitteryGracie · 25/12/2019 23:36

I got nothing, we do a secret Santa from the house, that's the only gift I'd get really but somehow this year they all got gifts and forgot me..... so nothing. I enjoyed watching ds open all of his though so it's fine.

YearofMisAdventure · 25/12/2019 23:36

Nope. Nothing here.

Single, no DC. DF posted cards/gift late (just something small) (despite me jokingly reminding him about last post.

When you are alone it feels more significant, but I'm not desperately wanting so I try to keep perspective and feel gratitude. Its not easy when Christmas is a time of so much excess/materialism, but it really is not a reflection of your worth OP.

I have also enjoyed buying a few choice things for myself.

lilybunnyc · 25/12/2019 23:42

No, I got nothing but that was by request. We are having an overwhelming time lately (my husband needs brain surgery quite soon) and we just decided to quit on this year and focus on the kids and quality time together. I don’t need anything if I am being honest anyway!

Duck90 · 25/12/2019 23:44

What did you get him?

dimsum123 · 25/12/2019 23:46

I didn't get anything, I didn't get DH anything. I have everything I could possibly want and more so just don't feel there is any need for gifts. It's cheesy but true!

lorettalemon · 25/12/2019 23:47

I didn't as I don't have anyone to exchange gifts with but I don't mind. To be fair I have everything I need and I've enjoyed watching films all day and I'd bought myself a lovely French cheese selection box for today

Hellokittymania · 25/12/2019 23:47

Lots of people don’t get presents… I attended a community lunch today, or dinner… Depending on who calls what meal what… But think of the many people who are on their own today… I was one of them. Thankfully, that event cheered a lot of us up, and they even provided some gifts for us. I haven’t had a Christmas gift in years. And I was really happy with the goodie bag, which had a cupcake, biscuits, chocolate… And a couple of other things.

It’s very hard for me sometimes to read about everyone getting gifts, or everyone asking me about my Christmas shopping… When I have no one. And I don’t get anything… So no, you’re not on your own, by any means.

Icepinkeskimo · 26/12/2019 00:19

I also got nothing, not even a selection box. I was told by my DP that I have everything and could buy myself anything as I can afford it Hmm

I knew this was coming it's a repeat from my birthday, nothing then either.

I have deliberately not got him anything enough is enough. We were going to his family in the north of England but I am not playing happy families anymore I'm sick of it, and informed him on Monday morning I wasn't going. He was fuming but what goes around goes around.

It's not even about the monetary value, it's about not giving a shit about someone you supposedly love and care about.

I spent today by myself, and the fur faces, to be honest it was a calm and quiet day, but it has also been a time of reflection. Time for him to pack his bags, I finally have seen the light he is a narcissistic, selfish liar and a skinflint to boot.

I do feel a little lonely today, but I now know I am lonely in this going no where relationship. There are so many things I could say, about him, but I took the rose tinted glasses of this week and saw him for what he really is.

CustardySergeant · 26/12/2019 00:22

I haven't had a Christmas present for several decades.

BarbaraofSeville · 26/12/2019 08:03

Don't agree to 'no presents' if you don't actually mean it. You can't be disappointed in your DH sticking to what you actually agreed to do. If he had bought you something then he was potentially spending money that you couldn't afford on something you don't strictly need.

If money is very tight then it makes sense not to buy 'proper' presents for the sake of it, but you could agree to exchange token presents of a nominal amount like £5 or even less just so you have a little surprise to open if that's what you want.

You could even agree that it has to come from the pound shop, which doesn't mean that it has to be useless rubbish as they sell DVDs, CDs, chocolate, and other bits.

RickOShay · 26/12/2019 08:10

Flowers @Icepinkeskimo
It sounds like you are doing the right thing. I hope 2020 is your year. X

HelloCanYouHearMe · 26/12/2019 08:14

I didn't get anything either OP

VenusClapTrap · 26/12/2019 08:21

@Icepinkeskimo that’s the best gift to yourself that you could possibly find. It must suck right now, but the only way is up. Hug those fur faces and have some Flowers and Wine from me.

I have had years where I got naff all when the dc were little, Dh forgot and my family are crap. My mother would never have let it happen but she’s dead.

But now Dh is better trained, and the dc are old enough to join in so it’s fine.

ElbasAbsentPenis · 26/12/2019 08:29

Flowers to everyone who didn’t get presents. Particularly anyone who feels lonely or un-cared-for. This can be such a difficult time of year.

I got myself a present so I’d have something to open, and that suited us all - my DH and I had many heard of bizarre gift-related misunderstandings (e.g. the year DH presented me with a painting of my cat who had died ten years previously - a lot of thought & effort & care had gone into it, but it was kind of weird and macabre!) before deciding just to buy for ourselves on behalf of one another, and that works out nicely. I can see how the fantasy is seductive that your partner should be able to see into your soul and intuit a gift so perfect that you didn’t even know how happy it would make you - but whatever people say on SM, I just don’t believe that happens. And when it inevitably doesn’t, it doesn’t mean you are not loved.