Pre-fifty jitters

[lolawasashowgirl]

I'm currently 49.99 and feeling slightly weird about being 50. I know it will pass but I'm determined to make the most of my fifties and not let them drift by like I have with other decades. You lot are super wise; if you're fifty something and above what advice / wisdom would you impart to me?

Not been 50 for very long but am watching with interest as determined to make changes next year.

I turn 49 next year so it looms

Am glad I'm not the only one feeling this way PostNotInHaste!

I feel at a big crossroad and not sure which way I am going.

Ha ! I wanted my big FIVE ZERO to be a very quiet and low key affair.
DH decided it was the perfect excuse to throw a massive party with about a million people all staying over ( ok slight exaggeration - but it was double figures ) I found out about an hour before when the caterer turned up with our daughter .(daughter thought might be an idea to tell me as I have a dodgy ticker !! )

To be fair it was a scream and totally blasted any worry I had away.

Happy soon to be birthday 🎁

Now 51.98.

I thought turning 50 was great I felt peak 'me' in terms of being confident and comfortable about being myself.

I also treated myself to the holiday of a lifetime. (It was so good, I'm repeating it next year )

Also, weirdly at the same time, 50 isn't magically different to 49.9...

It is no different from 49.99. It is just a number.

Much depends on what you want out of life: focus on that. Childbearing is now out of the question but professionally and personally there's everything to play for.

I found it tremendously liberating to be past the child-raising years, not to be responsible for anyone else. What has made the most difference for me is associating with those a little older and being amazed by their lifestyle, passions and activities ... I have some real role models amongst my social circle.

Just turned 50 this year and while nothing really has changed I am suddenly aware that I have aged physically in the last year or two and it’s noticeable in my appearance whereas through most of my forties i just stayed the same with no effort. Also I am very aware that I am now almost certainly closer to death than birth and have an increased sense of not wanting to miss the good bits of every day life. I want to make the most of the rest of my life because the last 25 years have whizzed past and I wish I’d appreciated it more. Close relatives have had serious illness and health issues at a similar age and life is pretty much over for them and I find that suddenly really scary.

54 here and as content as I’ve ever been

lola I'm feeling similar to you- I'm 50 on Sunday and while I've got the distraction of Christmas, I'm not looking forward to it!

You probably won’t like my advice because it’s very boring.

Focus on your health. Get active, get stronger and fitter. Lose weight if you need to. Eat better quality food. Tackle chronic health conditions if you have any.

Focus on your career and put every spare penny into your pension.

Have as much fun as you can, without spending all the money that needs go into your pension ! Lots of fun things are cheap / free.

Watch less Tv. There’s plenty time for that when you are 90.

Set stronger boundaries in your personal life. Where you can, stop dealing with difficult and draining people. Because truly life is too short to deal with crap if you can possibly avoid it.

Thanks for all your posts so far - they're all really interesting!

Has anyone on here radically changed their life at 50? If so how?

Sorry should have said 50 and beyond!

50 was fine

Started going downhill rapidly after 60.

Still reasonably fit

BUT greying hair became mostly white, no longer feel safe up ladders, stamina is shot, ache after only moderate exercise, sleep is intermittent, and a late night takes at least a week to recover from.

Good advice from @IM0GEN . I'm 56 and spent the first part of the decade looking after every one else and neglecting myself. I need to make some serious changes to improve my fitness, there is a book / website called the Age Well project which is quite interesting.

I dreaded it (now 51) but what I didn’t expect was the rapid collapse in my wellbeing due partly to menopause.

HRT had helped me a lot. For those who can take it I recommend being open to trying it. It’s been a gamechanger for me.

55 here and loving it.
Kids grown up and away. More fun with my husband 😜
Not menopausal yet, still have periods.
I give less of a shit about most things due to becoming more cynical.
I'm as happy with myself as I've ever been.
It's not scarey, honest. 🙂

Lola how do you feel about making this a thread for positive change? I am planning to sort health, fitness, career and boundaries. 2020 is start of new decade and about putting myself first.

Sorry PostNotInHaste I've unintentionally been a bit passive on this thread! So the things I'd like to address are:

1. My career. I'm in a pretty dead end job. I think I need to either make my peace with it or make a change but am worried I'm too old
2. My health (both mental and physical) I simply don't take care of myself enough.
3. My resilience- I'm struggling to deal with quite simple challenges at the moment. Possibly due to the menopause?
4. Friendships. I'm really struggling with some of them at the moment due to some quite frankly selfish behaviour. I don't think it's about me but I spend a lot of time feeling angry about it.

Relevant to 2) and 3) - are you getting enough (good quality) sleep? It’s something which can be difficult for all sorts of reasons in our age group, and can impact every aspect of life - including the management of 1) and 4).

@LarkDescending no I don't think I am - that's a very interesting point. I don't think I prioritise it as much as I should and I wake up at 4am most nights

Similarly - how are you doing for nutrition (including vitamin D status)? Exercise/activity? I think that changing the things we can easily control puts us in a better position to address the “bigger picture” issues.

Cross-posted. I don’t want to bore on about HRT but I can honestly say that in fixing my sleep it has saved my sanity.