Was dp being selfish or should I be more considerate

[tinselsprig]

Me, dp and the dc have planned to visit my mum and dad today. The last time we visited at Christmas was 2011. We were only going to stay for an hour or two.

Dp woke up saying he didn't feel 100% mentally and therefore we cannot go. I suffer with anxiety so I know how horrible it can be.

I got upset saying he was selfish as we planned this for weeks. He said I'm selfish for not supporting him. I offered to go with the dc alone but he says he doesn't want to be left alone at Christmas.

I've had to call my mum and dad to cancel. They were very understanding but I'm so upset and angry with him.

I know he suffers mentally but I was just so looking forward to this.

Now I've cancelled he's in the kitchen singing Christmas songs with the dc. Happy as anything.

I will bite my tongue to make sure the dc have a happy day.

Am I being selfish?

We can’t know about your relationship OP, but your husband doesn’t sound good for your mental health. Don’t prioritise his needs over yours; he clearly won’t prioritise yours over his own.

I'd be reacting as I do when one of the kids has successfully played me as being too sick for school, but all of a sudden perks up and has an appetite and is happy and chatty.

Making it very clear I knew I'd been played, that's okay, you won this round, but don't worry, this has been stowed away for next time. Next time, it's going to be very hard to convince me that you're oh so poorly and can't possibly manage to do whatever it is you're trying to squirm out of, and I'll be making my own arrangements. And you can go do one.

I'd tell dp that you're going tomorrow. Don't tell kids or partner, let him get up and be chipper then tell him

Your poor parents

Hope they werent cooking Christmas dinner