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Neighbour Xmas present etiquette , WWYD?

4 replies

lightandairy56 · 24/12/2019 22:39

Always said hello to upstairs neighbour, chatted when met outside the apartment block, stopped for a few mins chat. They are lovely. We have never socialised although keep showing we must. They do help me from time to time with quick physical tasks that I struggle with.
Always exchanged Xmas cards since they moved here a few years ago. But nothing else.
I have cut back on Xmas cards this year anyway (more than halved the amount I write and send) and hadn't got one from them so presumed they were doing the same, as so many of us are these days.
Neighbour comes round today with a card, bottle of wine for me and a gift for my children. I didn't have anything wrapped or prepared and it would have been way to obvious to go and get a bottle from the fridge so I thanked her very much, said "you shouldn't have but thank you" etc and she went off.
Haven't opened gift yet for the kids but think I really should give her at least a bottle of wine and a card for her kindness and because they are really nice neighbours...and I do have a nice bottle I can give.
But how on earth do I do it without it being obvious that I had nothing for her today when she came? What do I say? "Sorry you caught me on the hop yesterday when I had guests around and one of them is alcoholic so I couldn't get the bottle out that I had stashed away for you?".....(alcoholic bit is true). Or something else? I struggle with tact and diplomacy and don't know how to do this. Help!

OP posts:
Wallabyone · 24/12/2019 22:42

Ah, we had this our lovely neighbours. The first Christmas after they moved in they brought over a big tin of chocolates and a card. We said 'aw, thanks so much, that's really kind', and then took over similar later that evening, and wished them a merry Christmas. I don't think there's anything wrong with reciprocating if you like them-who cares if it's obvious? Now we do similar with our neighbours every year, this year I even took theirs first, although they had ours ready Smile

Clackyheels · 24/12/2019 22:54

I doubt they'd mind. Just take it round and wish them a merry Christmas. Lovely

Maryann1975 · 24/12/2019 23:01

Tbh, if I hadn’t thought that we were close enough to buy a present, I probably wouldn’t buy for them in your situation just because they bought me something. I wouldn’t want to start something and feel I have to buy something for them each year, so would just leave it. (But then my friends group have worked to get present buying down to a minimum as it just seemed to get a bit out of hand with the amount we were spending. Also, if they bought you a bottle of wine and you buy them a bottle of wine, surely you would be better just buying your own wine? My mum and neighbours all buy for each other and then they buy for us and the other adult children who have long since left home and it’s all a bit silly really. But none of them know how to put an end to it.

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Thistles24 · 24/12/2019 23:02

Why not ask them round for drinks/coffee and cake during the holidays instead of a gift? Perfect chance to start socialising if you’ve always been meaning to.

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